I'll leave your lips soaked with the remnants of a love held together by deception

[xlet_it_bleedx7]

Yesterday was an okay day, it was just a day that made me realize a lot of things. I don't really like those days to much. I woke up at five, because I had to go to the hospital lab really early. I had to go cause when I went to the doctor to make sure my cold wasn't somthing more we brought up a lot of things that I have had wrong lately stuff I don't want to mention here kinda personal. But I had to get seven tubes of blood taken out, and it made me feel awful afterword, along with my sore throat, and runny nose. I was basically dragged to school I didn't want to go but my mom told me I have to get all the work i missed. My mom was crabby from the begginning and when she is like that I know I am gonna get it the worst, I think she just had the realization that caitlin is leaving next year and I am going to be the "big cheese" in the household. And shes upset that caitlin is going to college in flordia. I just realize this stuff, a little late. Because I got the whole, you need intrests you need to get something do to, and your worthless right now, and a lot more stuff that I don't care to talk about it. but I rush out of the car when I get to school and my foot gets trapped and my mom presses the gas so im stuck in the car, it was lovely. But then I went downstairs and talked to sammi, we have been fighting again and I am tired of it, I know things won't be the same but I hope that we can still be friends cause I will miss her a lot. But afterword alex and I made a plan that we were going to sleep in the nurses's office threw english, I attempted to sleep, but when you have..shania twain's "MANNN, I feeeeeeel like a woman" on reapeat for 15 times. Its pretty hard to sleep. So I just layed on the plastic and thought how I wanna go home and how much this place is pointless to me. she sent us back, and 4th I talked to jeff for such a long time about um, odd stuff. Joe called me gay. I just stayed in the learning center and did old work and I brought my english grade up further. Joe kept arguing with me that what he meant was happy, um yeah sure. im so behind in algebra I hate that class. During lunch I just walked around with geoff, ella, carly, gabby and erika. ella's eye looked like it hurt. I felt bad. And I only got one hug. I got really upset from something someone said, but then again what the hell I should be used to it by now. I am just tired of being so un-happy with myself and caring about other stupid people's opinions. but science was a complete waste of time, I didn't do anything and I was hot and upset. History was okay, we took a test that I probably failed and ate greasy pizza and watched the incrediables and sammi and I cracked jokes the whole time. After that I went home.

I was cranky tired, and upset and caitlin was graduating I didn't wanna go at all and I was like in my room crying and saying I don't care about anything and no one likes me in this family so why should I go. I did wanna go. I just hate being upset during a day that caitlin cared about I felt really selfish. But I went and I must say even though bithers speech was stupid, and it poured and my underwear got stuck through my dress, and my shirt was see through, and my granny's shirt looked like she belonged in a wet tee-shirt concert, and caitlin had trouble marching I was so proud to call caitlin my sister. I love her. And it just makes me upset that I wasted years when she was right there all along, its odd to say that next year she won't be walking around in her bra in the morning and telling me to wake up for another day at the hell hole and giving me advice, and taking to long in the shower. I guess its the simple things im gonna miss. But my aunt, cousin, uncle and granny all came back with us and we ate and had cake and it was nice.

Then after they left the thunder started and it was amazing. I loved it. I layed in caitlins room with the blinds open and just watched it. I love those kinda storms.