(no subject)
Night Hawk, It sounds like you’re really doing well where you are now, and for the first time in a long time I can say that I am really proud of you. I know all the things you went through in the past year where life altering, are still life altering. But I can’t help but say that isn’t an excuse. I heard you were in a play at your church for Easter and that everyone got to go up and see you. You got to come home for a day and in a few weeks you’ll have the entire weekend off. That is really good. I hope when I come up I can see you, even if it’s just for five minutes, because I really don’t know when I’ll see you next. Not at the shower, I don’t think I'm coming back this summer, not at the wedding and I really don’t know about Christmas. It seems like you’ll be missing out on a lot of thing, you did miss out on a lot of things. Your actions not only affected you but so many other people. The sleepless night I spent wondering where you were, I almost came down there to “rescue” you, but I acted too late. I’m really glad you decided to stay longer there; going back to your high school could possibly be the worst thing for you. And you are making plans, for the rest of your life, that is really great. Screw them, you are smart, brilliant really, but why should they tell you, you can accomplish more than your dream. Because if hairdressing is that, your dream, then there is no doubt in my mind that you should go for it. Your mom did that, I think that is part of the appeal, I know it was for me when I was thinking about it. You might feel like it will bring you two close together, it will be yet another thing that you two have in common. I don’t know about you but I think about her every single day, and I miss her so much. You can’t really do this, but I play this “game”, for lack of a better term, while I am here I can pretend that her death was a terrible dream. I wouldn’t normally see her that often, and we don’t talk on the phone because we conveniently miss each other when the other calls. That is what I do, I am still not willing to except reality and I don’t want to, because it hurts so much. Remember in the summer, that night at the park, I really wish I had your strength, I honestly don’t know how you do it. Some days it feels like just yesterday she died and other times it feels like so long ago. Either way it’s been just over a year, which is so unreal to me. I want you to know that I am always here for you no matter what you need. Money, a place to live, someone to talk to, someone to listen, anything, I am here for you day or night. Please always remember that you are a beautiful and smart girl with so much potential and I will support you in no matter what you do. Just don’t abandon me, talk to me, it’s really hard to be there for you, when you are pushing me away. You tried that and I know you’re sorry, which I why I am not longer mad at you for what you did and how you hurt me. I love you always and forever. Xoxo Dragon. PS I don't know who I am going to spend my entire summer with this year, last summer was the best of my life.