(no subject)
I don't know why I pretend like people really care about what I write in here. But I don't really care at all I guess. I like writing in this stupid thing because it doesn't have to have quotes and be in MLA Format, which eats my soul, by the way, I can just type what I want. That's why I wanted to take AP Language Arts, I thought maybe there would be more freedom, but here I sit again trying to write yet another essay I couldn't care less about in a format I couldn't care less about. I want to do free writes or something. I want to write poems or songs or whatever, those seem to be the only things keeping my feelings from exploding all over everyone around me. I'm not bulit to handle pressure, my body cannot physically take it. I look at some of my friends' lives and they have so much more going on than I do, but I'm the one freaking out. I don't know how people do it. Honestly, I'm giving my all. I'm working when it's possible, doing this dumb show, and Chordination, and church, and trying to have all a's which is still happening, but goodness. The pressure's killing me. I'm currently having 3 meltdowns per week and tonight was one. Only this time I didn't have my mom to talk me through it. She and my Father were the cause this time.
So mom and dad, I'm sorry that I want to visit my friends from GHP, and go to a birthday party, and actually go to church this week. I'm sorry that I can't pay to drive YOUR daughter to Buford. I'm sorry that you may, heaven forbid, have to drive me to school for two days. I'm sorry that you want me involved in a thousand different things, and can't handle the fact that I have no money because I have no time to work. And lastly mom and dad, I'm really, really sorry that I want to enjoy the last 6 months of high school, and being a kid. I like being a kid. The responsibility you're giving me is too intense, I'm not ready for it yet. It's not time yet, I'm supposed to get to goof off for 6 more months before you make me become responsible.
I need a break from this stuff. I'm losing my mind.
So mom and dad, I'm sorry that I want to visit my friends from GHP, and go to a birthday party, and actually go to church this week. I'm sorry that I can't pay to drive YOUR daughter to Buford. I'm sorry that you may, heaven forbid, have to drive me to school for two days. I'm sorry that you want me involved in a thousand different things, and can't handle the fact that I have no money because I have no time to work. And lastly mom and dad, I'm really, really sorry that I want to enjoy the last 6 months of high school, and being a kid. I like being a kid. The responsibility you're giving me is too intense, I'm not ready for it yet. It's not time yet, I'm supposed to get to goof off for 6 more months before you make me become responsible.
I need a break from this stuff. I'm losing my mind.