everything is from her magic wand

[xlastxstaticx]

Today is the day i brokedown. Everything that has been
in my mind lately just burst out in tears and went wild.
Every tear that rolled down my cheek was for different
reasons. I know i try to be tough and try to push
everything off to the side and all but sometimes i am
not capable of doing that for my whole life. So many
things float around in my mind day & night that i havent
been able to get rid of. I know some of you would think
that i'm saying all this just for attention and that i
am being a dramaqueen & overreacting; but thats who i am.
I might be a dramaqueen at times and I might overreact
at the simplest things but...all my feelings need to be
let out at one point. Sometimes all at once and thats
what makes it seem like i am being a dramaqueen and that
i am overreacting, but i really dont mean for it to be
like that. When i just can't take any of it anymore, i
need to vent. And i just love how people always tell me
that they are here for me and crap but when i really do
need them at one point; they aren't there. & thats what
hurts most of all.

here are the things that i think about:

i need to talk to dui
i need to talk to dillon
i need to talk to megan
i need to talk to evan
i need a cig
i need to get the fuck out of here
i need to stop hearing yelling&screaming in my house
i need to stop being told that im ungreatful
i need to stop constantly thinking about having a dad
i want to get away from all this damage
i want to have a good laugh that i haven't had in awhile
i need to stop crying about things i shouldnt cry over
i want to dance around to music¬ stop for anything

yes, i know those are a lot of things to be thinking about all
at once but i am. Sorry if you consider this bitching about
my life and shit but this is my life right now.

♥?
jackee