Because his heart was made of knotted pine.
People sometimes tell me that I live in the past, and I often agree.
I once had a mother who, while she was not much of a mother at all, taught me more about life than I expected.
I once had a father who I hated so dearly for his hard heart and mean ways until I realized that hating him was turning me into him.
I once had a best friend who was so self-destructive and self-righteous, that being near her was making me into the kind of person I never imagined myself being.
I once had a friend who accidentally killed my pet chicken, punched me in the face, and dropped a huge concrete table on top of me and stood there laughing while I was screaming. Although it was a destructive friendship, we had many good times.
I once had a boyfriend, my first “real” boyfriend, whom I did not appreciate at the time because I was so young, but from him I learned the art of spooning, and I expect only the best.
I once had a best friend who was just around the corner when I needed her to be there for me, and while she gets further away as the years go by, I know she will still be there for me when I call her crying, and I will be there for her.
I once had a five year infatuation with a guy who I thought to be a totally different person than he actually was, but no matter what happened between us, I will always hold a place in my heart for him because he was the only person who truly understood me.
I once had a strong friendship with a guy who washed his mouth out randomly, smelled everything, urinated every five minutes, and who I thought to be my soul mate. He taught me not to take things for granted because once they are gone; it is a struggle to get them back.
I once had a friend who, while we were not that close, locked herself in a bathroom with me at a stupid party where we ate whipped cream using sporks. I always thought she was beautiful, and her newly fashion conscious self just further pushes the point.
I once had a relationship with a handsome blonde who made me feel so damn good about myself that he scared the crap out of me with his compliments and sugar words, and he had the nicest lips I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.
I once had a shy, quiet friend who always thought I hated him, when I never did. And although he stood me up on many occasions, I will always be waiting for him to call me when he is in town because he taught me not to expect so damn much from people.
I once had a friend who was always so nervous, funny, and a pleasure to be around, yet he was not afraid to put me in my place and let me know when I was being a heartless bitch.
I once had a friendship with a guy who read Celtic tales to me and mispronounced the names horribly, but he stole a Billie Holiday book for me and with it, stole my heart.
I once had a friend who wrote me letters from every place he lived, and with those letters gave me hope that one day I will also be able to see those beautiful places.
I once had a roommate who let me know when I was being irrational, made fun of me just enough, cooked some delicious red beans, and because of him I will always clean my hair off of the bathroom floor and clean out the bathtub after I wash my face (grainy St. Ives Apricot Scrub).
I once had a roommate who was rarely home, but when she was, she had a way of brightening every situation with her cute as hell baby voice, the way she yelled my name from across the hall, and those big bright eyes.
I once had a friend who drove me to school often and showed me a world that I was unable to get into myself, and when she pulled out of that friendship I realized that I had some faults, but at least I was realistic.
I once had a crush on a guy who was much older, and he barely knew I existed until I asked him to my school dance, and he said yes. I was surely captured in a dream, a dream so perfect that I did not even mind when he spilled his water on me and invited his girlfriend over after the dance, but I had to give that dream up.
I once had a friend who drove me to Memphis and shared a hotel room with me, which is something he was dying to do, and a tent, which took him an hour to put up, and that boy makes the cutest sounds and faces I have ever seen, and after my time away with him, I realized it was because he practiced them in the mirror everyday.
I once had a guy get one of his friends to tell me that he thought I was cute, and he is the same sweet-hearted guy who I ended up spending so many nights with in Dunkin’ Donuts until 2AM observing old people.
I once had a friend who I drove to and from school everyday. We shared bike rides, and I have to tell you that he is one of the best damn ballroom dancers I know.
I once had a friend who cut his hair like James Dean, maybe not specifically for me, but it made me so damn happy that I wanted that boy, who also said the most romantic things to me about travel and love and snowballs, to be mine.
I once knew a boy who swept me off my feet to the beat of “Moon River,” and Jesus, he seemed too good to be true, and sure enough, he taught me that sometimes what you think you want is not always what is good for you.
I once had a friend who I met and instantly had a connection with…a connection through literature, pineapples, pirates, and dreams; that boy keeps me at peace with myself.
I had a boyfriend who I thought was Italian, but he turned out to be just another pale Mexican dude like the hot ass John Liguizamo, who has opened my eyes to many things that I cannot explain here.
Many of these people are still in my life, and I am thankful for that every day.
I once had a mother who, while she was not much of a mother at all, taught me more about life than I expected.
I once had a father who I hated so dearly for his hard heart and mean ways until I realized that hating him was turning me into him.
I once had a best friend who was so self-destructive and self-righteous, that being near her was making me into the kind of person I never imagined myself being.
I once had a friend who accidentally killed my pet chicken, punched me in the face, and dropped a huge concrete table on top of me and stood there laughing while I was screaming. Although it was a destructive friendship, we had many good times.
I once had a boyfriend, my first “real” boyfriend, whom I did not appreciate at the time because I was so young, but from him I learned the art of spooning, and I expect only the best.
I once had a best friend who was just around the corner when I needed her to be there for me, and while she gets further away as the years go by, I know she will still be there for me when I call her crying, and I will be there for her.
I once had a five year infatuation with a guy who I thought to be a totally different person than he actually was, but no matter what happened between us, I will always hold a place in my heart for him because he was the only person who truly understood me.
I once had a strong friendship with a guy who washed his mouth out randomly, smelled everything, urinated every five minutes, and who I thought to be my soul mate. He taught me not to take things for granted because once they are gone; it is a struggle to get them back.
I once had a friend who, while we were not that close, locked herself in a bathroom with me at a stupid party where we ate whipped cream using sporks. I always thought she was beautiful, and her newly fashion conscious self just further pushes the point.
I once had a relationship with a handsome blonde who made me feel so damn good about myself that he scared the crap out of me with his compliments and sugar words, and he had the nicest lips I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.
I once had a shy, quiet friend who always thought I hated him, when I never did. And although he stood me up on many occasions, I will always be waiting for him to call me when he is in town because he taught me not to expect so damn much from people.
I once had a friend who was always so nervous, funny, and a pleasure to be around, yet he was not afraid to put me in my place and let me know when I was being a heartless bitch.
I once had a friendship with a guy who read Celtic tales to me and mispronounced the names horribly, but he stole a Billie Holiday book for me and with it, stole my heart.
I once had a friend who wrote me letters from every place he lived, and with those letters gave me hope that one day I will also be able to see those beautiful places.
I once had a roommate who let me know when I was being irrational, made fun of me just enough, cooked some delicious red beans, and because of him I will always clean my hair off of the bathroom floor and clean out the bathtub after I wash my face (grainy St. Ives Apricot Scrub).
I once had a roommate who was rarely home, but when she was, she had a way of brightening every situation with her cute as hell baby voice, the way she yelled my name from across the hall, and those big bright eyes.
I once had a friend who drove me to school often and showed me a world that I was unable to get into myself, and when she pulled out of that friendship I realized that I had some faults, but at least I was realistic.
I once had a crush on a guy who was much older, and he barely knew I existed until I asked him to my school dance, and he said yes. I was surely captured in a dream, a dream so perfect that I did not even mind when he spilled his water on me and invited his girlfriend over after the dance, but I had to give that dream up.
I once had a friend who drove me to Memphis and shared a hotel room with me, which is something he was dying to do, and a tent, which took him an hour to put up, and that boy makes the cutest sounds and faces I have ever seen, and after my time away with him, I realized it was because he practiced them in the mirror everyday.
I once had a guy get one of his friends to tell me that he thought I was cute, and he is the same sweet-hearted guy who I ended up spending so many nights with in Dunkin’ Donuts until 2AM observing old people.
I once had a friend who I drove to and from school everyday. We shared bike rides, and I have to tell you that he is one of the best damn ballroom dancers I know.
I once had a friend who cut his hair like James Dean, maybe not specifically for me, but it made me so damn happy that I wanted that boy, who also said the most romantic things to me about travel and love and snowballs, to be mine.
I once knew a boy who swept me off my feet to the beat of “Moon River,” and Jesus, he seemed too good to be true, and sure enough, he taught me that sometimes what you think you want is not always what is good for you.
I once had a friend who I met and instantly had a connection with…a connection through literature, pineapples, pirates, and dreams; that boy keeps me at peace with myself.
I had a boyfriend who I thought was Italian, but he turned out to be just another pale Mexican dude like the hot ass John Liguizamo, who has opened my eyes to many things that I cannot explain here.
Many of these people are still in my life, and I am thankful for that every day.