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Some of my recent poems that I never got around to posting until now (how exciting):

I Already Miss Home

I see yourself in me
so much that I can't breathe.
so much uncertainty
and yet you just be.
I'm scared too
I'm so confused
but I hide it all away
and these days I feel there is no use.
I love the long nights
I love the hazy lights.
i love the blurs
and all of our slurred words.
i'm not good enough for you
and that is the truth.
i don't know myself yet
or anything that i might do.
outside beauty
inside destruction.
still i subject myself to all of this corruption
all of this seduction.
i never forget beauty
so i'll always remember your words.
so natural and true
they made my body hurt.
my plane will be leaving
and i'll be gone sooner than i know.
i know i'll die if i stay so i choose to live and go
still i already miss home.

Us and Them - From Start to Finish

Two different people
Two different feelings.
Two different bed frames
Two different ceilings.
I met you in the past
and here we are again.
I don't think of you as anything
more than a friend.
The other I love
more than words can say.
and I still love after everything
more than I did yesterday.
First one kissing
biting thrusting.
The air is full of passion
but I feel nothing,
I feel nothing.
The second panting
their breath is in my ear.
I'm in ecstasy
and my thoughts become so clear.
The first is hard
emotionless and rough.
My mind feels all cluttered
full of meaningless stuff.
The second makes me tingle
I can feel it in my veins.
The room it keeps spinning
in the most beautiful of ways.
The first one has ended
and I feel no different now that we've parted.
The second one is the first kiss
how I feel when we've only just started.

Ice Cream Soup

Something doesn't taste right
every drink has a new bite.
Once I was making soup out of ice cream
now all I do is reminisce and dream.
The present is foggy
the past is long gone.
When did ice cream change
when did my life go wrong.
Now there are too many calories
now there is always booze.
Trying not to gain
always wanting to lose lose lose.
Forgetting to remember
trying to forget.
I haven't found my place
My place and I have not met yet.
Friends become enemies
and we all stab each other undercover at night.
Things just don't seem right, it just isn't right.
I left my rut
Only to fall into another just the same
Sometimes I like the fall
sometimes it's nice when I forget my name
Ever since I met you
I have realized I am alone.
And sometimes it gets so fucking predictable
sleeping in my cold bed at home.
I want to go back to the old days
I want to find something true.
Buy a box of ice cream
and make my ice cream into soup.

Expanding Ribs

My ribs they're expanding, indescribable feeling.
Making room making room
My emotions push past the ceiling.
Sometimes it gets hard to make some vacancy
sometimes I feel like there is no space.
To fit all of the ones I love in a certain place.
I've loved and I've lost
more than once in my life.
And to all of those I've loved.
I'm expanding expanding so that you fit just right.
My lungs grow small
so that my heart can grow big.
Sometimes it hurts more to breathe
but I'll live, I'll live.
In each vessel contains
a memory I would never trade.
I loved you and now you are gone
but I was happy once
and my heart beat was so strong.
It will beat again for that I am prepared.
But my ribs expanded and made room so that you will always be there.

Shapes

Dancing treetops
illuminated by the sun.
Ketchup met it's doom
death by hit and run.
We all want to live a little
we all want to feel alive.
Take my lips
breathe life into my insides.
Fumbling fingers
panting breath.
Fills up my ear drums
until there's no room left.
High heels wake my slumber
the footsteps from upstairs.
I'd count every bone in your spine
just to make sure they were all there.
A melody could not sum up
no song could ever do.
The rhythm of your voice
the rhythm that dances out of you.
Painting a picture
creating beautiful shapes.
On top of the blankets
I will never want to replace.
Hands clasped so tight
under your pillow so white.
To stop the time right now
if only I knew how
I wish I knew how.

Alone

I swear I never I never said goodbye
so why does it feel like you're gone.
you never got my permission.
you're supposed to stay and prove them wrong.
i swear i never i never said leave
so why do you choose silence
you shouldn't need my guidance.
i swear i never i never said no
so why get up
why get up and go.
because i'm trying
and i'm hoping
but i feel there is no use.
these games are giving me headaches
can we call it a truce?
i'm holding my white flag
it is yours to keep.
i'll surrender forever
do you hear me, i'm yours to keep.
i'm sitting in this room
but i feel like i'm not here
and the music is sounding fuzzy
my thoughts aren't coming out clear.
all i see are the pop up windows
and i'm growing tired of their sight.
do they say your name?
they just might
they just might.
stepping outside
with naked feet.
you're on the sand
and i'm on the street.
the wind tickles my face
i'd rather it were your hand.
but this constant questioning
is hard for me to stand.
you seem so convincing when your face is next to mine
your tongue tells no lies.
I said yesterday I would try to appreciate the grey
today the sun was shining
but I still felt the same way.

alone.

Rollercoasters and Rainclouds

I'm riding a rollercoaster alone in my bed
the monster keeps me up, playing inside my head.
I'm getting strange messages but they're not from the right one
the other day I swore I sang here comes the sun.
But now the sky is rather damp and grey
supressing the sun that was rising, pushing the sun away.
A friend spoke of thoughts so wise
I hear and feel them, I must learn to see them with my own eyes.
This rollercoaster is taunting me, I see no end
can a lover exist within a friend?
I don't want you to pretend.
I wish to feel the rain fill up each one of my pores
I long to hear your laugh that I so adore.
4am shadows won't you come visit me tonight
my shadow, why do you feel so far away, something isn't right.
I've been looking too far ahead I've forgotten where to step
how can the future come if I haven't experienced the present yet.
I'll try to take it down, do it all at my own pace
life is a journey after all, not a race.
Here I stand in this grey and I'll dance in the rain until you return
I can't seem to appreciate the clouds without the sun
but I can learn,
I can learn.

The Taximan Didn't Forget

I wish it could have stayed
as thoughts in my head
but those thoughts happened to stray
and put stains on your bed.

desperation it seethes
through my clothes and my pores.
and i wish that my fingers
would send messages no more.

the taximan he comforted me
and he didn't forget my name
he made me feel like i did last year
like everything was still the same.

ocean sounds please leave me
don't whisper in my ear one more day.
i hope in the morning you'll be gone

i prefer the lake anyway

Floorboards (Waking the Dead)

I tripped on a string that was tied to the floor,
the cat looked at me funny saying he wanted more.
The mountain looks high boy but it's just to your knees,
still I just kept on driving, I'll never know if you did succeed.
She's the kind of girl to make breakfast for in bed,
and you want to protect her from all of the evils haunting her head.
We sat broken on the floor, completely defeated,
we're so young but our souls have been poorly mistreated.
And I can hear the whispers from the people down by the lake,
but the whispers don't know me, they've made a mistake.
There once was a day I thought you were kind,
but these whispers have silenced those thoughts in my mind.
To the dinosaur room! We see the bones fly on the ceiling,
they're not dead, they're not dead, they just need a little healing.
Please tell me a story under the firecracker night,
it's too dark to see your face, but to me that's alright.
The string I tripped over is now attached to my shoe,
and the cat watches the floorboards fly,
as I try to get closer to you.

Blues Poem

You got me this time
Oh, you got me good.
Yeah you got me baby
just like I knew you would.
I remember
the look that was in your eyes.
You looked right through me
didn't even care to ask why.
Because you know you got me
yeah you got me good.
Even though I'm gone you've still got me
just like you knew you would.
But baby you aint seen nothing
no, you aint seen nothing yet.
cause even though right now you've got me
I haven't got mine yet.

Bubbling Thoughts

bubbling thoughts
dancing in my head.
boiling through my ear drums
spilling on to my bed.
i'm trying to sleep
i'm trying to rest.
but my thoughts they keep bubbling
my brain feels so suppressed .
because we all want to make a statement
we all have something to prove.
but my statement is i don't have one
then i'll never have anything to lose.
you came to me
at my time of need.
my angel of inspiration
when my dreams were being pushed so deep.
these bubbling thoughts were starting to consume me
they were starting to take control.
for so long i've been a strange body
housing such an empty soul.
i've never let anyone take me for a fool
until i met you.
but after being knocked down
i was surprised at how much i grew.
so here is my declaration
my message so to speak.
at times though i may appear smaller
don't you ever think of me as weak.

Not My Problem

the lake the lake,
midnight black in my eyes.
it swallows every secret
it drowns all of the lies.
i come to you in my time of need
when i am really feeling low.
when my words need no ears
or have no special place to go.
you can swallow up all sounds
and carry them out to sea.
you can drown all of my sorrows
and forever take them away from me.
i ran to you that night
because i needed to let it out.
to scream until my mouth was aching
until you took every last bit of my shout.
and that was what you did
you came and you took my voice away.
so that it can float on down the lake
and wash up on shore another day.
because maybe i'm not prepared for my words
maybe i need them watered down.
or maybe they're wet already
drunk and soaked in beer
from this crazy town.
but for now water
you can have my voice until i know what's in store.
voice don't come back until i'm ready
you're not my problem anymore.

Leave

my breath becomes short
and my brain stops working.
my hands go numb
and my heart starts hurting.
i feel excited
and you have the cure.
but the antidote belongs to only you
and to sell it you're not exactly sure.
i've stared into your eyes
but i don't remember if they're blue or brown.
but while doing so i've seen more
than what they say around this town.
you thought it would be harmless
you thought that it would be easy.
because we all know
everything means nothing to monica g.
but i feel and i hurt
more than i lead on.
sometimes this brick house
tires of being so strong.
i tend to crumble during nightfall
but i'm better when the sun comes up.
you like to sleep in late
just my luck.
so i'll go on like always
pretend as if i don't care.
i give you permission to take what you want
as long as you leave as if you were never there.

Hmm I think that is it!
Yeah...