(no subject)
I had a really weird dream that confused me.
Most of my dreams kind of make sense, and the rest dont, but this im trying to make sense out of.
I was me in my dream.. The first dream was about evan and i was in the city with aunya and ran into evan and he kept trying to kiss me. i kept telling him no and he was being really annoying. Then after that i had a dream which was kind of part of the last one.. and i all the sudden "remembered" that before jason and after evan i had a boyfriend. I remember the relationship was very shortlived and he used to live with pat at the maxine house, and jason wasnt living there. I had forgotton his name for some reason and i started to remember bits of my memory about him, and about our relationship ending when he just disappeared completely, didnt call me. We were playing wheel of fortune video game or something and he got angry about something aNd then left and neither pat or the maxine house, or me ever saw him again. So i called up pat or imed him and asked him "do you remember the guy i used to date before jason?" and hes like "yeah sean..." So his name was sean.
And i said, what happened to him? and pat said.. oh you dont know? he died... cardiac arrest in august like a year ago. Which would be around the time we broke up. So after that i just started crying hysterically.. and the whole dream i was just crying and crying so i go to my mom and start crying and im like "why? why did i just forget him like that? like he got erased from my memory??" He apparently went to my middle school and i was looking for him in my year book because i hardly remembered what he looked like. When i found pictures he looked like a young version of john connor from terminator 2 or something. Except he had black hair.. and big blue and green eyes, very young boyish features hair that kind of fell infront of his face, he looked like a gutter punk.. He was very good looking and i suddenly remembered that i adored the shit out of him, but he was just really complicated and wild and depressed. Which was scary during the relationship i "remembered". i ended up walking out of my house with denisse and james my ex ex ex boyfriend was outside with some big dog and i told him, and he didnt really respond to me or comfort me. Sometime after that i realized i was dreaming but i wsant lucid enough to really understand that in my waking life i didnt know this "Sean" or had him as a boyfriend, so, i still believed IT. so i continued in my dream trying to look for sean in the dreamlife because apparently some spirits can get in your dream from the "other side." So i thought maybe crying about sean would bring him to me... so i awoke in another dream with jason.. and jasons taking his clothes off on my old bunkbed i owned during highschool, and im like. youre not sean.. and hes liek yes i am.. but he was this other version of jason, he didnt really look like him... and im like no youre not him.. and he just smiled and im like if youre sean then.. why did you make yourself look like jason..? He didnt respond.. the next dream i ended up going out with people, and i was basically crying the whole time..and i started remembering that around the time we were dating i was filming my everyday life, and that i probably had tapes of us, so i ran and was repeated "i gotta find those tapes!" and i ran into sean on the way.. and he started mocking me crying.. and im like sean is that you?? why are you making fun of me?? why did you die? why did you disappear on me and never talk to me again? he didnt really respond he just smiled and i gave him a huge hug like i missed him so much. ? THEN, he disappeared again and i was hanging out with jaqui and nicole and pat and some others.. and we all took a shot of saki, and i went to a laptop and searched his name on dream google ahhaa, and i saw articles about him dying... and since i was with nicole, she just looked at the article and started tearing and said "how come i didnt know about this?" Apparently he died by eating some kind of topical cream or something... and one of his last words were it tastes just like lindsay... im like lindsay? and nicole said yup.. apparently they had dated long time in the past maybe... i dunno... it was really weird... really... really weird.. i kind of woke up at that point still feeling liek i was mourning the death of someone.. just really really sad until i remembered i dont know a sean........
Most of my dreams kind of make sense, and the rest dont, but this im trying to make sense out of.
I was me in my dream.. The first dream was about evan and i was in the city with aunya and ran into evan and he kept trying to kiss me. i kept telling him no and he was being really annoying. Then after that i had a dream which was kind of part of the last one.. and i all the sudden "remembered" that before jason and after evan i had a boyfriend. I remember the relationship was very shortlived and he used to live with pat at the maxine house, and jason wasnt living there. I had forgotton his name for some reason and i started to remember bits of my memory about him, and about our relationship ending when he just disappeared completely, didnt call me. We were playing wheel of fortune video game or something and he got angry about something aNd then left and neither pat or the maxine house, or me ever saw him again. So i called up pat or imed him and asked him "do you remember the guy i used to date before jason?" and hes like "yeah sean..." So his name was sean.
And i said, what happened to him? and pat said.. oh you dont know? he died... cardiac arrest in august like a year ago. Which would be around the time we broke up. So after that i just started crying hysterically.. and the whole dream i was just crying and crying so i go to my mom and start crying and im like "why? why did i just forget him like that? like he got erased from my memory??" He apparently went to my middle school and i was looking for him in my year book because i hardly remembered what he looked like. When i found pictures he looked like a young version of john connor from terminator 2 or something. Except he had black hair.. and big blue and green eyes, very young boyish features hair that kind of fell infront of his face, he looked like a gutter punk.. He was very good looking and i suddenly remembered that i adored the shit out of him, but he was just really complicated and wild and depressed. Which was scary during the relationship i "remembered". i ended up walking out of my house with denisse and james my ex ex ex boyfriend was outside with some big dog and i told him, and he didnt really respond to me or comfort me. Sometime after that i realized i was dreaming but i wsant lucid enough to really understand that in my waking life i didnt know this "Sean" or had him as a boyfriend, so, i still believed IT. so i continued in my dream trying to look for sean in the dreamlife because apparently some spirits can get in your dream from the "other side." So i thought maybe crying about sean would bring him to me... so i awoke in another dream with jason.. and jasons taking his clothes off on my old bunkbed i owned during highschool, and im like. youre not sean.. and hes liek yes i am.. but he was this other version of jason, he didnt really look like him... and im like no youre not him.. and he just smiled and im like if youre sean then.. why did you make yourself look like jason..? He didnt respond.. the next dream i ended up going out with people, and i was basically crying the whole time..and i started remembering that around the time we were dating i was filming my everyday life, and that i probably had tapes of us, so i ran and was repeated "i gotta find those tapes!" and i ran into sean on the way.. and he started mocking me crying.. and im like sean is that you?? why are you making fun of me?? why did you die? why did you disappear on me and never talk to me again? he didnt really respond he just smiled and i gave him a huge hug like i missed him so much. ? THEN, he disappeared again and i was hanging out with jaqui and nicole and pat and some others.. and we all took a shot of saki, and i went to a laptop and searched his name on dream google ahhaa, and i saw articles about him dying... and since i was with nicole, she just looked at the article and started tearing and said "how come i didnt know about this?" Apparently he died by eating some kind of topical cream or something... and one of his last words were it tastes just like lindsay... im like lindsay? and nicole said yup.. apparently they had dated long time in the past maybe... i dunno... it was really weird... really... really weird.. i kind of woke up at that point still feeling liek i was mourning the death of someone.. just really really sad until i remembered i dont know a sean........