Edited ( once again) :-D
To try and tell you something sad and depressing would be a waste of time. Mostly because I myself am neither sad, nor depressed. I am merely a person trapped in a life that is overwhelmed with despondency and hopelessness. So maybe, that is the inspiration for this, or maybe I don’t even know where this is coming from. But what I do know is that absolutely no good can come of it.
I could try to explain the meaning of my existence in this world, but I’m still not even close to unraveling that mystery. What I can do, however, is give you the basics. I am a kid whose life is not only beginning, but is coming closer and closer to an end each day. I guess you could say I’m pretty average. I don’t have enough knowledge to be considered knowledgeable, but I still feel I have earned the right to question anything and everything thrown at me. I’m not proud of the life I’ve lived so far, but then again, I have very high expectations, and very low self-confidence. My name and my age however, will remain unknown to do other reasons.
Up until now, my life has consisted of very few things that could even be considered remotely significant. I’ve never really questioned anything about it until this moment. But what I’ve realized during my short and tedious existence is that life is a complete waste when taken for granted. Lucky for you, I’m here to give you some advice that will undoubtedly help to guide you towards a more satisfying life. For starters… do the exact opposite of what I did.
For some unfamiliar reason I’ve grown curious of everything that I have ever come into contact with. How often do you drive past a graveyard and consider the fact that there are bodies under those tombstones? So cold and lifeless as to be easily mistaken for a large rock. When you see a couple in a high school hallway holding each other, gazing in to each others eyes as if they were lost in some infinite moment, do you question whether or not they will remember each other in 15 years when they’ve both gone their separate ways and are married with their own families? When you sit in the mall food court gazing at the new crop of culturally confused youth ordering another potential heart attack, do you question their true intentions? I do. I’ve engaged deviants, collars popped, egos inflated, in conversations hopelessly beyond any of us. And out of me they painfully drew , like the last drops of water from an already rung rag. The nights have been darker than they should be. And I am utterly suspicious of the sky. How many of those stars were planes, so deviously lit, as to trick us backyard astronomers?
Okay, I promised I’d give you some insight. So here it is. I am an alcoholic, drug abuser, and I am manic depressive. Okay, I lied. But people are more likely to read about a drug-addicted vagabond who roams the streets complete with an oversized coat and a hobo lunch box then someone who is physically stable. However, that is not the case. One thing you might come to observe about me is that I lie. I don’t think that that’s necessarily a bad thing though. Mostly because lies are more interesting than the truth. But that shouldn’t suggest, that I don’t tell the truth. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I simply lie because it’s a little invigorating to know that I know the truth and you don’t. But I assure you, if I am dishonest with you ever again, I will confess. Only because I like you.
So I guess this all started the other night. (when I say ‘this all started’ I mean my whole life-altering view on life). There were two thick fogs that night. One was outside my window, concealing the moon as if it were a winter blanket. While the other one was inside my head. These clouds of delusions had been there for a while now, but I think they actually sunk in on this specific night. The news was on. Tonight’s Episode: Crime growing as crack cocaine habit escalates.I could hear the neighbors next door engaged in another endless battle of wether or not the underwear found in the bedroom belonged there.Tires screeched and garbage cans collided to the ground. Another abandoned dog has been run over. And here we find your narrator. Sitting in bed, questioning the events that had taken place just hours before.