(no subject)
So these past few weeks have been, well, interesting to say the least. I would like to think that everything will work out but i would only be fooling myself. Basically i would assume i am single because Tyler hasnt even spoken to me since i have been back in oshawa, and we havent discussed anything further about us getting back together. Also, his msn name seems to state we are still seperated, perhaps he wants people to feel sorry for him.
To make a long story short, I have decided to stop putting forth any effort into this situation because it has drained me completely, and to be honest, i stopped caring long ago... but im not the only one. He really doesnt seem to give a shit about anything i do, or appreciate it. If my attempts go unnoticed, maybe he will notice that i have stopped trying and ask what is wrong, but i highly doubt that.
Normally with an entry of this nature i would post it private, i would use it as an outlet for my own benefit to keep my private life, well, private. But i really dont care who reads this, or who comments. I hope tyler reads this too, maybe then he will finally let me know what the fuck is going on and i can be rid of this charade for good.
I really dont know how much more i can say on this matter without sounding like a horrible person looking for someone to blame. And im sorry Tyler if you read this and i hurt your feelings, it will shock me tremendously if that is the case. Not that i hurt your feelings, but the fact you actually have feelings to be hurt.
He always tells me he never lies to people, or never does anything bad. It's all bullshit with him. He says he is open with everything, but yet he secludes me from everything. He believes in equal rights, but it's always his way or no way at all. There is never a happy medium. He says he wants to settle down and have a serious relationship but he isnt ready. He is lying to himself if he honestly believes he is ready to settle down. He is not willing to make any sacrifices or compromises to make me happy, even though i have done everything i can to make him happy.
I probably could of saved myself a lot of trouble by summing all of this up into one word. Unhappy. Thats what i have become in this relationship and it's not fair to me, or tyler anymore. Pretending to be happy is just not my style, i tried, but i cant do it anymore.
To those of you who havent figured it out by now, or even if tyler hasnt, i'll make it clear right now. In my mind, we are through. There is nothing left. No love, no feelings, no anything. It would be in both of our best interests if we moved on in life.
With that said, i hope everyone has a good night. I know i feel a lot better getting that out.
To make a long story short, I have decided to stop putting forth any effort into this situation because it has drained me completely, and to be honest, i stopped caring long ago... but im not the only one. He really doesnt seem to give a shit about anything i do, or appreciate it. If my attempts go unnoticed, maybe he will notice that i have stopped trying and ask what is wrong, but i highly doubt that.
Normally with an entry of this nature i would post it private, i would use it as an outlet for my own benefit to keep my private life, well, private. But i really dont care who reads this, or who comments. I hope tyler reads this too, maybe then he will finally let me know what the fuck is going on and i can be rid of this charade for good.
I really dont know how much more i can say on this matter without sounding like a horrible person looking for someone to blame. And im sorry Tyler if you read this and i hurt your feelings, it will shock me tremendously if that is the case. Not that i hurt your feelings, but the fact you actually have feelings to be hurt.
He always tells me he never lies to people, or never does anything bad. It's all bullshit with him. He says he is open with everything, but yet he secludes me from everything. He believes in equal rights, but it's always his way or no way at all. There is never a happy medium. He says he wants to settle down and have a serious relationship but he isnt ready. He is lying to himself if he honestly believes he is ready to settle down. He is not willing to make any sacrifices or compromises to make me happy, even though i have done everything i can to make him happy.
I probably could of saved myself a lot of trouble by summing all of this up into one word. Unhappy. Thats what i have become in this relationship and it's not fair to me, or tyler anymore. Pretending to be happy is just not my style, i tried, but i cant do it anymore.
To those of you who havent figured it out by now, or even if tyler hasnt, i'll make it clear right now. In my mind, we are through. There is nothing left. No love, no feelings, no anything. It would be in both of our best interests if we moved on in life.
With that said, i hope everyone has a good night. I know i feel a lot better getting that out.