this is pathetic but i love it
so what the hell.
this is kind of for hitzel mostly, but i don't know i'm just typing.
i just read katie hitzels livejournal and for like the 4th time in 24 hours that girl has made me cry. and i finally stopped thinking about the past for a second, only to look up at my board and start all over again. i just realized katie that i'm doing exactly what you did last night. i have an urge to type all these memories in my head but i think you did a hell of a job and i don't even want to compete with that. although you have some memories in there that i took no part in -- had nothing to do with -- or didn't even know about until later -- i realize that every single thing you typed had an effect on me (or is it affect -- i never got the e/a difference lol) and anyway, that makes me realize how lucky i am. we are such good of friends that not only do we have all these awesome memories -- but i know about the rest of them. they are a part of my life, because they were a part of your life and everyone elses and so i heard the stories or i watched the reinactments. i heard about it over the phone, on our long walks home, or in the car one day. and that, is just awesome.
i seriously have awesome friends. all you guys have a different part of me .. you all bring out a different part of my character at different times. sometimes i wish we could all get along .. but i know thats just how life is and there's nothing you can do about it.
last night when we were watching that movie i realized 5 minutes into it that i just wasn't in the mood for it. i wanted to laugh -- i was in a stupid giddy mood, and not everyone was. when kelly and jordan and i left the room i felt bad because it was like we were ditching you guys on a night when we were supposed to be together. but then i realized, friends can't take shit so seriously sometimes. we aren't all always going to agree on the same thing or be in the same type of mood at the same time or have the same opinions, but the reason we stay friends is because we have to realize that's okay.
i seriously wasted last year. i wasted it hating being a freshman. hating school and the pointlessness of it. hating seeing my mom so week, or not even seeing her at all. hating that my friends were changing. hating that i had to be fake just to keep people around. hating watching people in worse situations than me and feeling like there was nothing i could do. for them, or for anything. hating being distant. hating being hateful.
i love you guys. we only have 2 more years until we all go seperate ways, i know how cliche that sounds but it's so true we can't waste it.
i know i'm not going to.
xoxox, kadi lynn
-- it's 2:59 right now and i'm going crazy with insomnia. where are my sunrise sisters when i need them..
this is kind of for hitzel mostly, but i don't know i'm just typing.
i just read katie hitzels livejournal and for like the 4th time in 24 hours that girl has made me cry. and i finally stopped thinking about the past for a second, only to look up at my board and start all over again. i just realized katie that i'm doing exactly what you did last night. i have an urge to type all these memories in my head but i think you did a hell of a job and i don't even want to compete with that. although you have some memories in there that i took no part in -- had nothing to do with -- or didn't even know about until later -- i realize that every single thing you typed had an effect on me (or is it affect -- i never got the e/a difference lol) and anyway, that makes me realize how lucky i am. we are such good of friends that not only do we have all these awesome memories -- but i know about the rest of them. they are a part of my life, because they were a part of your life and everyone elses and so i heard the stories or i watched the reinactments. i heard about it over the phone, on our long walks home, or in the car one day. and that, is just awesome.
i seriously have awesome friends. all you guys have a different part of me .. you all bring out a different part of my character at different times. sometimes i wish we could all get along .. but i know thats just how life is and there's nothing you can do about it.
last night when we were watching that movie i realized 5 minutes into it that i just wasn't in the mood for it. i wanted to laugh -- i was in a stupid giddy mood, and not everyone was. when kelly and jordan and i left the room i felt bad because it was like we were ditching you guys on a night when we were supposed to be together. but then i realized, friends can't take shit so seriously sometimes. we aren't all always going to agree on the same thing or be in the same type of mood at the same time or have the same opinions, but the reason we stay friends is because we have to realize that's okay.
i seriously wasted last year. i wasted it hating being a freshman. hating school and the pointlessness of it. hating seeing my mom so week, or not even seeing her at all. hating that my friends were changing. hating that i had to be fake just to keep people around. hating watching people in worse situations than me and feeling like there was nothing i could do. for them, or for anything. hating being distant. hating being hateful.
i love you guys. we only have 2 more years until we all go seperate ways, i know how cliche that sounds but it's so true we can't waste it.
i know i'm not going to.
xoxox, kadi lynn
-- it's 2:59 right now and i'm going crazy with insomnia. where are my sunrise sisters when i need them..