It's been so long
So much has happened in the past few months. It's been too overwhelming to write. I feel like we're coming out of a storm.
Ben lost his job in November. It came as a complete surprise to us, and to many people at Novell as well. In retrospect, it shouldn't have been such a surprise. Though it was scary, it was also a relief. He didn't have to worry about Novell, the company, anymore.
It didn't help that I took the layoff personally. I wanted to see Kelli Frame fired, not for laying off Ben, but for how she treated him for months before. I saw how Ben's closest friends were let go as well. And I was so angry that so many others lost their jobs, just as the company was becoming profitable.
I'm not anti-industry, anti-corporation. But was it really necessary to lay off 600 people to raise the stock price a dollar? Ben wasn't the only one with a family who was let go. And he was one of the fortunate ones. I worry about those in Utah who don't have the same prospects as the people on the East coast, who have no mobility, no desire to move.
In any case, the search is over. He started at Red Hat on Monday. I'm relieved, though I think I'll continue to work part-time. It's nice not to have to pay for our own health insurance again. It's nice to know we'll be covered after April, that we can pay the mortgage, and that we can send Charlie to camp.
And it's nice to know that, thus far, he is happy there. I don't think Ben has been happy at work in a very long time.
On the note of happiness, sessions with my psychiatrist have been going well. I'm generally more balanced, and I'm learning a lot. It's like the Zoloft is a truth serum, making me open up more from session to session. I often forget where we ended and where we're starting up. I need to be reminded here and there. And I never wanted to admit where my sense of self-doubt came from or why I became accustomed to being depressed. We're exploring issues of guilt, family. We're talking about my social phobias and anger.
Charlie's therapy is also going well. Though he is a smart, happy little boy, there are some things that we're working out. He also has some social fears, avoiding eye contact, avoiding talking to other children. He's opening up more and more now, and is ever more confident. For this I am thankful.
His hands are also becoming stronger, he's using them more, and is becoming more and more right-handed. I hadn't realized just how little he was using his fingers, but with exercises, beads and play-doh, he's able to do so much more. He can color in the lines in drawings, make discernible shapes with crayon and paper. I always thought there was no problem, that he'd develop in his own time, that it was a cognitive thing. Nah. It's physical. But he's getting there and getting better every day.
What the next year holds is a mystery, but I'm looking forward to it. Heh. Charlie is up for his nap. Time for our playdate!
Ben lost his job in November. It came as a complete surprise to us, and to many people at Novell as well. In retrospect, it shouldn't have been such a surprise. Though it was scary, it was also a relief. He didn't have to worry about Novell, the company, anymore.
It didn't help that I took the layoff personally. I wanted to see Kelli Frame fired, not for laying off Ben, but for how she treated him for months before. I saw how Ben's closest friends were let go as well. And I was so angry that so many others lost their jobs, just as the company was becoming profitable.
I'm not anti-industry, anti-corporation. But was it really necessary to lay off 600 people to raise the stock price a dollar? Ben wasn't the only one with a family who was let go. And he was one of the fortunate ones. I worry about those in Utah who don't have the same prospects as the people on the East coast, who have no mobility, no desire to move.
In any case, the search is over. He started at Red Hat on Monday. I'm relieved, though I think I'll continue to work part-time. It's nice not to have to pay for our own health insurance again. It's nice to know we'll be covered after April, that we can pay the mortgage, and that we can send Charlie to camp.
And it's nice to know that, thus far, he is happy there. I don't think Ben has been happy at work in a very long time.
On the note of happiness, sessions with my psychiatrist have been going well. I'm generally more balanced, and I'm learning a lot. It's like the Zoloft is a truth serum, making me open up more from session to session. I often forget where we ended and where we're starting up. I need to be reminded here and there. And I never wanted to admit where my sense of self-doubt came from or why I became accustomed to being depressed. We're exploring issues of guilt, family. We're talking about my social phobias and anger.
Charlie's therapy is also going well. Though he is a smart, happy little boy, there are some things that we're working out. He also has some social fears, avoiding eye contact, avoiding talking to other children. He's opening up more and more now, and is ever more confident. For this I am thankful.
His hands are also becoming stronger, he's using them more, and is becoming more and more right-handed. I hadn't realized just how little he was using his fingers, but with exercises, beads and play-doh, he's able to do so much more. He can color in the lines in drawings, make discernible shapes with crayon and paper. I always thought there was no problem, that he'd develop in his own time, that it was a cognitive thing. Nah. It's physical. But he's getting there and getting better every day.
What the next year holds is a mystery, but I'm looking forward to it. Heh. Charlie is up for his nap. Time for our playdate!