apathy
No one on Staten Island cares about the women of the congo. No one wants to make a pledge. I've been running into this all week. People caring has been bothering me for 2 weeks now.
Everyone seems to be apathetic nowadays.
Maybe it's this college idea of helping one's self alone to better their own life.
It makes me extrememly disheartened.
Why does no one in college care about anything but themselves? And older people too? And caring only about their loved ones simply isn't good enough for me. I know I'm too critical on myself and that's why I'm so critical of others. I'm not sorry about it, because I feel most people aren't hard enough on themselves. So many people of our age have it so easy in New York. They don't know how hard it could be. I know, I should then understand I have it good and go out and have fun...but who can have fun with all these people being wronged every moment?
I know I need to not give strangers the benefit of the doubt over my friends, but it's hard for me. I know it's hard for everyone to change. But we're not children anymore and we can decide who we want to be...I'm not sorry about feeling as though people should not be selfish and apathetic. I know I should not be mean to those who are, but it's hard for me. It outrages me when I see people being so horrible and by being mean back I too am contributing, but I guess it's human nature to do unto others as they do unto you..I simply do unto others as they do onto others. I feel selifish because I enjoy helping others, but does that mean I shouldn't. Then again...walking around SI in the cold and getting not a single pledge isn't fun and no on will ever know I even did that for them...is that selfish? These people need our help! And no one's listening! No one hears it! And they don't care! But 4 million people have died and thousands of women are living in agony. Doesn't that agonize you? It makes me sick to my stomach. Aren't we all supposed to be connected?
How can I not care about victims? Is it so awful to be mean to those who don't care about these victims? Everyone has their cause, but too many people have a cause that is all their own. Causes that help others who are like them or they only want to cure cancer because they have it or want to stop the deforestation in their town because their sisters want to play in the woods Or they protest the stopping of their favorite cereal being made. These are "good" causes but these people only care because they are personally affected. Why is this? I don't get it. I don't see why people NEED a reason to do good things. Most poeple never actually "help others". It's all bull shit. And it makes me mad. And it upsets me when people I love do the same thing, and for that I am sorry, but that's who I am. I'm passionate about my causes and it's hard for me when I spend my days fighting for a cause that my own friends and family don't even care about, don't even want to know about...so how is anyone else going to care? Why should anyone else care...maybe that's why I'm so "bitchy"...I'm uptight because sometimes it feels like a losing cause, sometimes I want to give up, sometimes no one understands and those that are supposed to, well they don't. I've begun to think my causes are bullshit, but they're not and I know that...it's all I think about sometimes...I can't help it....the thing is I feel I have no choice but to help...I feel like it's an obligation to the world we were born into. I don't sit here and check off "good causes"...I don't see it like that, I see it as mandatory...why the hell not help? What else would a human do? It seems like a no brainer to me...people need help, can't do it alone, we can help, so who wouldn't....but apparetly most people don't see it this way and don't do shit.
I know I'm too serious but people's lives are a serious deal. I don't mean this towards anyone specific..it's a common idea between everyone it seems. And it's not bad, it just is, it just is. I know, everyone is busy w/ their own lives, but these causes are my life. I love having fun with my loved ones too! It's just hard to respect people when they don't care about something I care so strongly about, when I see them having so much fun and leaving me out..okay I leave myself out, but idk...this is hard to explain.
I love all my friends and family and I don't resent them for not caring about the same things I do because I don't care about the same things they do and that's what makes us different. I've simply been very disheartened lately when it comes to the stength of human beings and stuff. ughhh, it makes me want to start drinking, smoking, and partying every friday night instead of reading up on global problems and jogging. But I won't, but it's okay if you do...and you should...just be grateful that you're able to feel good about yourself on a daily basis regardless...I simply don't have that pleasure...and that's what I want you to understand.
Diclaimer: I'm extremely emotinal right now, none of this probably makes any mistakes...especially since I wrote mistakes instead of sense, please don't hate me for saying it, and I don't know how much of it I meant. p.s. I'm never that serious really. I don't mean to be stuck up...I'm just sad about it. I know most of my friends and family poeples love me and I love them and they do support me and I'm thankful and that helps me do what I need to do. It's just people doing what they want to do and not what others need that upsets me, not saying you do that...ugh. No one even washes their hands, so why would they care about what happens in other countries, or even to people in their own country...hey I should be happy most of the poeple I know care about the people they know right?....when so many poeple in the US don't...but that's the thing...it's never enough.
Everyone seems to be apathetic nowadays.
Maybe it's this college idea of helping one's self alone to better their own life.
It makes me extrememly disheartened.
Why does no one in college care about anything but themselves? And older people too? And caring only about their loved ones simply isn't good enough for me. I know I'm too critical on myself and that's why I'm so critical of others. I'm not sorry about it, because I feel most people aren't hard enough on themselves. So many people of our age have it so easy in New York. They don't know how hard it could be. I know, I should then understand I have it good and go out and have fun...but who can have fun with all these people being wronged every moment?
I know I need to not give strangers the benefit of the doubt over my friends, but it's hard for me. I know it's hard for everyone to change. But we're not children anymore and we can decide who we want to be...I'm not sorry about feeling as though people should not be selfish and apathetic. I know I should not be mean to those who are, but it's hard for me. It outrages me when I see people being so horrible and by being mean back I too am contributing, but I guess it's human nature to do unto others as they do unto you..I simply do unto others as they do onto others. I feel selifish because I enjoy helping others, but does that mean I shouldn't. Then again...walking around SI in the cold and getting not a single pledge isn't fun and no on will ever know I even did that for them...is that selfish? These people need our help! And no one's listening! No one hears it! And they don't care! But 4 million people have died and thousands of women are living in agony. Doesn't that agonize you? It makes me sick to my stomach. Aren't we all supposed to be connected?
How can I not care about victims? Is it so awful to be mean to those who don't care about these victims? Everyone has their cause, but too many people have a cause that is all their own. Causes that help others who are like them or they only want to cure cancer because they have it or want to stop the deforestation in their town because their sisters want to play in the woods Or they protest the stopping of their favorite cereal being made. These are "good" causes but these people only care because they are personally affected. Why is this? I don't get it. I don't see why people NEED a reason to do good things. Most poeple never actually "help others". It's all bull shit. And it makes me mad. And it upsets me when people I love do the same thing, and for that I am sorry, but that's who I am. I'm passionate about my causes and it's hard for me when I spend my days fighting for a cause that my own friends and family don't even care about, don't even want to know about...so how is anyone else going to care? Why should anyone else care...maybe that's why I'm so "bitchy"...I'm uptight because sometimes it feels like a losing cause, sometimes I want to give up, sometimes no one understands and those that are supposed to, well they don't. I've begun to think my causes are bullshit, but they're not and I know that...it's all I think about sometimes...I can't help it....the thing is I feel I have no choice but to help...I feel like it's an obligation to the world we were born into. I don't sit here and check off "good causes"...I don't see it like that, I see it as mandatory...why the hell not help? What else would a human do? It seems like a no brainer to me...people need help, can't do it alone, we can help, so who wouldn't....but apparetly most people don't see it this way and don't do shit.
I know I'm too serious but people's lives are a serious deal. I don't mean this towards anyone specific..it's a common idea between everyone it seems. And it's not bad, it just is, it just is. I know, everyone is busy w/ their own lives, but these causes are my life. I love having fun with my loved ones too! It's just hard to respect people when they don't care about something I care so strongly about, when I see them having so much fun and leaving me out..okay I leave myself out, but idk...this is hard to explain.
I love all my friends and family and I don't resent them for not caring about the same things I do because I don't care about the same things they do and that's what makes us different. I've simply been very disheartened lately when it comes to the stength of human beings and stuff. ughhh, it makes me want to start drinking, smoking, and partying every friday night instead of reading up on global problems and jogging. But I won't, but it's okay if you do...and you should...just be grateful that you're able to feel good about yourself on a daily basis regardless...I simply don't have that pleasure...and that's what I want you to understand.
Diclaimer: I'm extremely emotinal right now, none of this probably makes any mistakes...especially since I wrote mistakes instead of sense, please don't hate me for saying it, and I don't know how much of it I meant. p.s. I'm never that serious really. I don't mean to be stuck up...I'm just sad about it. I know most of my friends and family poeples love me and I love them and they do support me and I'm thankful and that helps me do what I need to do. It's just people doing what they want to do and not what others need that upsets me, not saying you do that...ugh. No one even washes their hands, so why would they care about what happens in other countries, or even to people in their own country...hey I should be happy most of the poeple I know care about the people they know right?....when so many poeple in the US don't...but that's the thing...it's never enough.