(no subject)
This entry does not apply to any specific person that might be reading it.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how I used to be. Like, how I used to dress, talk, think, the things that I used to do, and pretty much the way I used to be so care free. Obviously rarely anyone is care free, but I never used to have to like triple jinx and un-jinx myself just to hope that I have a good day. I used to just go to school and I would come home and my only concern or worry or anger would be because of homework.
Homework.
That's it. But then in 7th grade it seems like everything changed. People that used to be so close to me started treating me like dirt, everything collapsed. I got so caught up in trying to be what everyone else wanted, and then not succeeding, and then trying again. I was so wrapped up in trying to keep friends, lose friends, make friends, and make my hair look the way everyone elses did. I think that last year was so over whelming for me that I lost sight of what used to be really important to me. Things like my grades and my truest friends. Then my parents got divorced and that was the hardest thing I ever went through. I can't even write about it without feeling like the world is crashing down all around me.
In elementary school things were so wonderful, and even though I got stressed, and I sometimes fought with my friends, everything was actually wonderful. And I took it for granted. But I think that is how everyones life is. I guess it's just like they say. you never really know how much you love something until its gone.
I like to think that this year I have gotten much better about everything.. and I am not going to try to put up with some boy if he is perverted, a jerk, and "too cool" to talk to me in the hallways. And I am not going to try and be friends with a girl if they don't really care about me. If someone is not worth it then I can tell. I have better judgment now of the kind of people that I want to surround myself with.
I like to think that I am being myself more this year. I care about all of my truest friends, and really have a clear picture of who the most important people in my life are, and who I need in my life the most. I know I am being myself more this year because I am getting the grades that I got before 7th grade, and because of that I am way less stressed out as I used to be.
So maybe I don't have to triple jinx and un-jinx my mornings if I could just really trust that everything works out that way it should.
I have been thinking a lot lately about how I used to be. Like, how I used to dress, talk, think, the things that I used to do, and pretty much the way I used to be so care free. Obviously rarely anyone is care free, but I never used to have to like triple jinx and un-jinx myself just to hope that I have a good day. I used to just go to school and I would come home and my only concern or worry or anger would be because of homework.
Homework.
That's it. But then in 7th grade it seems like everything changed. People that used to be so close to me started treating me like dirt, everything collapsed. I got so caught up in trying to be what everyone else wanted, and then not succeeding, and then trying again. I was so wrapped up in trying to keep friends, lose friends, make friends, and make my hair look the way everyone elses did. I think that last year was so over whelming for me that I lost sight of what used to be really important to me. Things like my grades and my truest friends. Then my parents got divorced and that was the hardest thing I ever went through. I can't even write about it without feeling like the world is crashing down all around me.
In elementary school things were so wonderful, and even though I got stressed, and I sometimes fought with my friends, everything was actually wonderful. And I took it for granted. But I think that is how everyones life is. I guess it's just like they say. you never really know how much you love something until its gone.
I like to think that this year I have gotten much better about everything.. and I am not going to try to put up with some boy if he is perverted, a jerk, and "too cool" to talk to me in the hallways. And I am not going to try and be friends with a girl if they don't really care about me. If someone is not worth it then I can tell. I have better judgment now of the kind of people that I want to surround myself with.
I like to think that I am being myself more this year. I care about all of my truest friends, and really have a clear picture of who the most important people in my life are, and who I need in my life the most. I know I am being myself more this year because I am getting the grades that I got before 7th grade, and because of that I am way less stressed out as I used to be.
So maybe I don't have to triple jinx and un-jinx my mornings if I could just really trust that everything works out that way it should.