LoVe HuRts..
Dear Diary,
Holly crap..SOO MUCH GOING ON!!! I know I havent updated since last week..so here we go lol
~Wendsday Ryan and me went SHOPPING!! haha It was soo much fun! We went to Target and the Avenue. lol Some good times. He helped me pick out my outfit for fourth of july, then I picked out his outfit for fourth of July. Aww..he hates jeans, but i made him get some lol Then i wanted him to get a button up, but he chose a pink polo instead..gosh..loser lol jk Then he got a pink hat, but I told him it was too much pink haha Then we played around in Target lol He makes me laugh so much...
~Saturday was COCOA HUNDAI!! haha That was soooo funny! We had to stand out on the intersections by Applebee's with signs..aww..good times! haha It was Chelsea, Lindsey, Allysa and me! It was a blast! I felt like a goober though, cuz Ryan wanted to know where I was and I wouldnt tell him. So he drove around all over looking for me. All to hold out a sign asking me to be his g/f..yea..i know..i'm a dork! lol Then I went over to Cathy's for her sweet 16. Yeah..let me just say that was the most drama filled day EVER!!! Gosh..it was freaking retarted..some ppl..need to stop with all this shit. And then i was yelled at for being a bitch..or w/e..but idk i dont wanna deal w/ it anymore!
~Sunday we went to Cocoa Hundai..AGAIN haha This day was funnier haha We ran over to Steak and Shake haha..it was freaking crazy..we were being a bunch of gurls haha Then..i felt bad..cuz Ryan was gonna ask me out agian and i wasnt there..tear lol Then I came home for a BBQ..aww..this little girl was here..she was sooo CUTE! I played cards w/ her and watched a movie!!
~Monday was FOURTH OF JULY!! Holla haha Well...lets just say..it started out good haha Ryan came and got me and we went to Laurie Wilson with everyone haha OMGOSH..i met laura's b/f BOB!!! Isnt that an awesome name haha So we all played around at the beach lol Then I went with Julia to get dressed. So we were all getting changed, getting all pretty or w/e lol Then ppl started to show up and DANG..my babe came in and I was like HOTTIE!!! haha Then we all went outside to eat or w/e lol HAHA..freaking we had the funniest conversation EVER!! We were talking about Bob and all his names or w/e lol Queefy..Dee Dee..Adidas lol You'd had to have been there to understand it all. Then Ryan and me went and talked on the hammok..but we'll talk about that later. So, the fireworks started to go off!! That was aweome..aww..he said the sweetest thing..i love watching the fireworks light up your face. Oh man..I hate misquitos I got bitten up to HIGH HEAVEN! I feel as if I have chicken pocks!!! uh..its totally gay!!
~Tuesday was pretty kewlie lol I went with Julia and Katie to the Avenue to see Bewitched and shop a little! haha THAT WAS AWESOME! I love those girls, they crack me up! We had a blast together, they were making me feel better due to some prior incidents or w/e haha Idk..anyways..so i got a poster too haha I was really excited!!!
~Oh lord..so he comes the longest paragraph of it all..lol Ryan! Alright..so we decided to back track a lil on our relationship cuz we realized we didnt know each other as good as we thought. So things were a little rocky, but ended up being ok. So, on monday, things were good..we were laughin having a good time. Then we went to sit on the hammock and talk..well..things were going great. I was falling in love with him all over agian and i was soo unbelievably happy. Then it got brought up that some girl was hitting on him when he went home to change for the party. And i asked if he liked her and he said he didnt know. So, the converstaion continued and he realized he didnt know what he wanted. He wasnt sure if he wanted me or what he wanted to do and all this stuff. So we talked for about an hour about this. Then..it led to tears from him and i'm sorry's getting thrown all over the place. I didnt know what to do and I didnt know what to say. I just wanted to make it as easy as i could..so I said we'll just be friedns and it will all be ok. So i walked him to his car and..he started to cry..and i was so numb. I wanted to cry with him but held it all in. I didnt know what to do, but walk away and then we kissed one last time and that killed me..But, walking away from him and having him not run after me..hurt worse.
~So then, tuesday he texted me and said I miss you and it hasnt even been a day. I had no clue what to say, so i said i miss you too. Then in the middle of the movies, he texted me this whole long thing about how much he loves me and misses me..and i just broke down. It was the hardest thing to think i let him go and then know he was still in my life. So, later that day, I called him and we talked. He said he was sorry, he talked to the other girl and told her he wanted me. He said he loves me and wanted to be with me and I told him alright. So, as of 07/05/05 We are a COUPLE! lol We've been talking since 05/30/05..SO I'm really HAPPY!!!! I love you baby, and I'm so glad we got through this together!!
~Also, I am grounded for a week..so I wont be able to talk to y'all on the phone or anythign like that. Dont ask why, cuz its dumb and I feel like a loser for getting in trouble for it lol Gosh..Ive been feeling like a loser for a lot stuff latley haha
~I am soo excited! I get to volunteer for the youth league cheerleaders! They are soo cute haha We go out every tues, wends, and thursday! Its so awesome! I went out yesterday and did it! They are absolutly precious! I cant wait to go back and do it again today!!
~I am soo excited! Kayla C. comes down the 13th from WA!!! HOLLA!! haha I cant wait to see her!! I miss you hunny! I am so excited that I get to see you! You chose a bad time though, all my friends are gonna be gone lol Same with my babe. GOSH WHORE! haha jk I am still really happy your coming..we'll go do some other stuff..liek SHOPPING haha
xoxo SaM