old journal: Oona's & Emma's death
12 Feb 2002
As Berky explained to me while I climbed up the stairs to Trumbull.
"There's been an accident."
I told him he's not telling me this.
"Emma and Oona didn't make it."
I told him he's not telling me this.
"Jesse's in intensive care."
I wish he never told me this.
God, I only met Emma a few times and the first time I met her, she told me funny stories of how she scared her pretentious art school classmates.
I guess the one time her classmates saw her at one of those home improvement stores, she was buying like 4 axes (or shovels) and on of her classmates asked her why.
"Because I need them."
Emma might have them that use used them. I can't remember.
I remember running into Oona at Thomas Video. I remember thinking how she seemed so much older than me. Turned out I had a few years on her.
I haven't seen her since her birthday. Last time I came over to see here, she was sick, so I left her oranges from the Vitamin C fairy. That was the night Zegota played at Trumbull.
Oona's voice was so unique to everything. her sister sound the same way.
Happy Fucking Lunar New Year, huh?
There's so many I have to tell.
I feel so gypped. Didn't I just have to go through this with Sarah and Eric?
I should have known this would happen. It's like as soon as I saw Lisa, I took off my all purpose spell to keep everyone okay. Because I was so worried something like this would happen.
Kenny told me something really nice. He said I was one of the people Oona was always happy and excited to see.
That song from Tora!Tora!Torrance! keeps going through my head. Now I'm going to think of it as the song of Oona and Emma.
I never did get that tape of my friend OOna.
It's so quiet right now that I can hear the blood going through my veins. That constant noise that I'm always try to drown out.
I'm hungry, but I can't eat. I feel nauseous.
I wonder if I'm pregnant.
I want to be held right now. I want to let go.
God, please, I hope Jesse makes it out okay. Don't let this become 3 instead of 2. Don't let Jesse's family go to New Mexico to see him die.
I see Aaron at the couch perpendicular to me, sleeping while standing up. And all I want to do is hug him, cuddle with him. But it would be because I want to hold him, not because he needs it. And this is a time to be concerned for Aaron. He lost 2 of his friends. He might also lose his best friend.
Kenny called me today when I was making cookies. I couldn't answer the phone because my hands wee all messy. But I called him back and Kenny told me to come over after work for a pot luck. He didn't have the heart to tell me on the phone. Good ol' understanding Kenny.
I feel all weird. Like I can't think and that I'm separate to this world. Why, why, why?
It's like this path I can't live through so I take myself apart from this. God, I have to tell.
I remember once, Oona told me that she though Sean hated the fact that she was born & raised in Detroit because Sean couldn't hold it over her head that Sean was born and raised in Detroit.
Ha, ha. Funny, huh?
I just don't know right now. I don't know anything.
As Berky explained to me while I climbed up the stairs to Trumbull.
"There's been an accident."
I told him he's not telling me this.
"Emma and Oona didn't make it."
I told him he's not telling me this.
"Jesse's in intensive care."
I wish he never told me this.
God, I only met Emma a few times and the first time I met her, she told me funny stories of how she scared her pretentious art school classmates.
I guess the one time her classmates saw her at one of those home improvement stores, she was buying like 4 axes (or shovels) and on of her classmates asked her why.
"Because I need them."
Emma might have them that use used them. I can't remember.
I remember running into Oona at Thomas Video. I remember thinking how she seemed so much older than me. Turned out I had a few years on her.
I haven't seen her since her birthday. Last time I came over to see here, she was sick, so I left her oranges from the Vitamin C fairy. That was the night Zegota played at Trumbull.
Oona's voice was so unique to everything. her sister sound the same way.
Happy Fucking Lunar New Year, huh?
There's so many I have to tell.
I feel so gypped. Didn't I just have to go through this with Sarah and Eric?
I should have known this would happen. It's like as soon as I saw Lisa, I took off my all purpose spell to keep everyone okay. Because I was so worried something like this would happen.
Kenny told me something really nice. He said I was one of the people Oona was always happy and excited to see.
That song from Tora!Tora!Torrance! keeps going through my head. Now I'm going to think of it as the song of Oona and Emma.
I never did get that tape of my friend OOna.
It's so quiet right now that I can hear the blood going through my veins. That constant noise that I'm always try to drown out.
I'm hungry, but I can't eat. I feel nauseous.
I wonder if I'm pregnant.
I want to be held right now. I want to let go.
God, please, I hope Jesse makes it out okay. Don't let this become 3 instead of 2. Don't let Jesse's family go to New Mexico to see him die.
I see Aaron at the couch perpendicular to me, sleeping while standing up. And all I want to do is hug him, cuddle with him. But it would be because I want to hold him, not because he needs it. And this is a time to be concerned for Aaron. He lost 2 of his friends. He might also lose his best friend.
Kenny called me today when I was making cookies. I couldn't answer the phone because my hands wee all messy. But I called him back and Kenny told me to come over after work for a pot luck. He didn't have the heart to tell me on the phone. Good ol' understanding Kenny.
I feel all weird. Like I can't think and that I'm separate to this world. Why, why, why?
It's like this path I can't live through so I take myself apart from this. God, I have to tell.
I remember once, Oona told me that she though Sean hated the fact that she was born & raised in Detroit because Sean couldn't hold it over her head that Sean was born and raised in Detroit.
Ha, ha. Funny, huh?
I just don't know right now. I don't know anything.