(no subject)
Keith.. Mandie.. And Casey are the only
people I really wanna associate with from now on.
Don't take it personally.
I'm sick.
I hate life so much. People complain it's too short..
But really it's too long right now.
It's funny 'cuz no one can relate.. And everyone thinks
they know how I feel and that it's all so trivial and
stupid.. No one has any idea the shit that I have to
put up with at home and with people. Nor do I want
anyone to know what it's like 'cuz it's hell. People
can be so shitty. I wonder why God makes some of the
people he does.
I can't even cry anymore. I thought crying was bad enough.
Now I just have this feeling inside. Like I'm empty or
something. It's so gut-wrenching and it makes me feel
like nothing is worth living for.
I'll be honest. Right now. Fuck what I've said
in the past.
I want Nicole to be my friend again. Sometimes I wonder
why and people ask me why, but nothing seems right.
Simple things don't seem right, like listening to Bleed
American.
I think there was a huge misunderstanding and I wish I
could explain myself but, like I said, it's not worth it.
I'm not worth it.
Nothing is worth anything anymore.
I miss Julie.
I miss being 7 when I was a skinny little muscular kid
who was active and had alot of friends that didn't
treat me like shit.
I miss last summer. I thought I made a toast in the
beginning of the summer.. That this would be the best summer
yet. But here I am having the worst one of my life.
Even when my dad was deathly sick I had a better time
because I had friends who were there for me and took my
mind off of things.
Real friends.
Whatever happened to those.
Lately.. I've been taking in all the things that Nicole
would tell me whenever we fought.
1. I will always be let down by the people I call friends.
2. I don't treat people the way I should.
Well I learned the first one.. That always happens, I
just never took it to heart.
2... Well.. I've been trying. Seriously. I really have
and as I look upon my actions I'm somewhat satisfied.
I know I've changed.
I learned so much shit the hard way.. When I didn't have
to.
I chose to.
I just don't know whats left for me.
Just when I thought things were falling into place..
They were really falling apart.. Fast.
Sometimes.. Like right now.. I wish I could cry. But
I can't anymore. I'm hollow. I have nothing left inside.
It's like a fucking dementor came into my room a few
nights ago while I was sleeping.
I'm so sorry.
I need to get some sleep.. I have to go to the doctor
tomorrow.
It's useless. I'm useless.
Night.
people I really wanna associate with from now on.
Don't take it personally.
I'm sick.
I hate life so much. People complain it's too short..
But really it's too long right now.
It's funny 'cuz no one can relate.. And everyone thinks
they know how I feel and that it's all so trivial and
stupid.. No one has any idea the shit that I have to
put up with at home and with people. Nor do I want
anyone to know what it's like 'cuz it's hell. People
can be so shitty. I wonder why God makes some of the
people he does.
I can't even cry anymore. I thought crying was bad enough.
Now I just have this feeling inside. Like I'm empty or
something. It's so gut-wrenching and it makes me feel
like nothing is worth living for.
I'll be honest. Right now. Fuck what I've said
in the past.
I want Nicole to be my friend again. Sometimes I wonder
why and people ask me why, but nothing seems right.
Simple things don't seem right, like listening to Bleed
American.
I think there was a huge misunderstanding and I wish I
could explain myself but, like I said, it's not worth it.
I'm not worth it.
Nothing is worth anything anymore.
I miss Julie.
I miss being 7 when I was a skinny little muscular kid
who was active and had alot of friends that didn't
treat me like shit.
I miss last summer. I thought I made a toast in the
beginning of the summer.. That this would be the best summer
yet. But here I am having the worst one of my life.
Even when my dad was deathly sick I had a better time
because I had friends who were there for me and took my
mind off of things.
Real friends.
Whatever happened to those.
Lately.. I've been taking in all the things that Nicole
would tell me whenever we fought.
1. I will always be let down by the people I call friends.
2. I don't treat people the way I should.
Well I learned the first one.. That always happens, I
just never took it to heart.
2... Well.. I've been trying. Seriously. I really have
and as I look upon my actions I'm somewhat satisfied.
I know I've changed.
I learned so much shit the hard way.. When I didn't have
to.
I chose to.
I just don't know whats left for me.
Just when I thought things were falling into place..
They were really falling apart.. Fast.
Sometimes.. Like right now.. I wish I could cry. But
I can't anymore. I'm hollow. I have nothing left inside.
It's like a fucking dementor came into my room a few
nights ago while I was sleeping.
I'm so sorry.
I need to get some sleep.. I have to go to the doctor
tomorrow.
It's useless. I'm useless.
Night.