(no subject)
Ok so yesterday i worked til 7 and jake called me while i was at work, he was in wilkesbarre with his grandmother adn dad adn they were going out to eat so i guess he wanted me to go too but i was at work so he told me to call him when i got out. After work he i called, he was goin over his friend Kyles house for a party and he said hed call me when he left, well instead i ended up going to that party with sheppard and his girlfriend hahah. So jake was sorta surprised to see me there, and it pretty much sucked there tho. the house is all old and haunted apparently, and we just sat outside by this fire they had going and i was being eaten alive and i was in such a miserable mood cuz i didnt see jake since monday and he was actin like i wasnt even there at the party so i was kinda mad bout that. but anytime i would walk away from where he was hed be like "where are you going??" im like right over hereeeee.
After a bit sheppard was leaving and i was like well im gonna follow you outta here cuz i dont know where to go and shepaprds just like well u can follow jake outta here and then jakes like i dunno when im leaving or if im leaving so i was just like "FINE ILL JUST LEAVE NOWWWWWWWW I JUST WANNA FUCKIN GO HOMEEEEEE" and jakes like are you mad at something is something wrong?? " ya fuckin think..... you didnt ask me to hang otu with you in a few days, but i bump into you here at thep arty anyway and u act like nothin. thats bullshit. So jake walked me to my car and he went to put his arm around me but i pulled away from him adn hes like well call me tomorrow, ig otta work on my moms car. I was lik eok well me , steph and ken are going to the fair at 4:00 and u said you wanted to go so ill call you and see if youre still gonna go.
But then i was really thinkin bout how he was acting and stuff and how pissed off i was so i called him at like 1:45am an was like jake call me back when u go home!"
Well he called me at 2 and said he was dropping his friend jeff off and then coming over. Well he didnt get here til 3am, so i was pissed he took forever cuz i was tired and watned to go to bed. Well he came over and we were just hangin out in my room in the nice airconditioning and he was layin there practically falling asleep. He was like "im so relaxed the air feels so good bla bla bla" and he had his arms around me and i was just like wtf im so mada t him... i didnt know what i wanted to say to him so finally im like ok i need to talk to you. i want to ask you soemthing so dont get all freaked out or make me feel more stupid. Hes like what you watn to ask me and i know you were gonna ask it , thats why i came over instead of calling you. Im like oh god ok well what is our deal?? cuz im confused as hell, we act like we are going out but we arent and i just want to know whats going on cuz i like you alot but its just annoying not knowing whats going on.
hes liek well i like you, i obviously like you BUT.... im just not ready to commit to a relationship yet. After my ex girlfriend i just cant get back into another relationship just yet, its been 8 months but i just hated how thigns were when me and her went out, i coudlnt go out with my friends, i couldnt do anything i wanted to and i just dont want to deal wtih stuff liek that right now, and i have school starting up again soon and if i get another job while in school i wont have alot of time and thats not fair to you i dont want to hurt your feelings and not be around for you its not fair. And we've been dating for a month now i feel like i know you pretty well , but i know i could know you better and thats why i like dating, its me getitng ot know you as a person first before rushing into anything i like to iknow someone really well before i ask them out cuz people always change after a while. So then hes like did i make you sad now?? and im like ummm no ( i was tryin to act like i didnt care) but then i just rattled off bout everythign i wanted to. I told him i have a problem talking bout stuff like that cuz i get nervous and stuff and hes like yeah i know , thats how i am, and i know we had to talk about this so if you werent gonna birng it up soon i was going to. So then i was like you kojnw if we go out i wont keep you from hanging otu with your friends, i dont care bout that, only thing i would care bout is just you telling me where youre going then i wont care. Like if youw atned to hang out with the guys and not me just be like hey im goin here with the guys bla bla bla and i wouldnt care. I wouldnt hold you back. And i wouldnt want to hangout with you everyday, people need their space, need to hang out with their friends and all of that. And i jsut kept sayin all that stuff. Then he was aying how he just is scared of commitment and he could tell i would want a commitment, and he just wants to take it slow bla bla bla
so yeah i was kinda disappointed but relieved to know what the fuck is going on ya know?
But like jake also said to me, who knows when ill come around , when ill be ready for a commitment, may be tomorrow, may be a few weeks, maybe a few months who knows but thats jus tme and im being honest with you about it. and im the stupid one tho cuz jake did tell me on our first date he didnt want to rush into anything he wasnt out for a relationship but i didnt really listen, i just blew it off. SO i dunno what to do now like i like him alot, hes one of the few guys who crack me up, that i am comfortable around and who calls me all the time. I do like him alot and i do think in some aspects hes worth me waitin around for and continue dating him and stuff and then when i think bout other stuff i shouldnt have to wait around its bullshit. Bu ti dunno what to do, ill just let it go at this for now and see how things go, but im not gonna be used and im not gonna get hurt by this so wish me luck
that boy better come around hah
whyyyyyy does like have to be like a fuckin soap opera?????
my cell phone may come tomorro w:) :)):):):):):) they better send me a cool one
After a bit sheppard was leaving and i was like well im gonna follow you outta here cuz i dont know where to go and shepaprds just like well u can follow jake outta here and then jakes like i dunno when im leaving or if im leaving so i was just like "FINE ILL JUST LEAVE NOWWWWWWWW I JUST WANNA FUCKIN GO HOMEEEEEE" and jakes like are you mad at something is something wrong?? " ya fuckin think..... you didnt ask me to hang otu with you in a few days, but i bump into you here at thep arty anyway and u act like nothin. thats bullshit. So jake walked me to my car and he went to put his arm around me but i pulled away from him adn hes like well call me tomorrow, ig otta work on my moms car. I was lik eok well me , steph and ken are going to the fair at 4:00 and u said you wanted to go so ill call you and see if youre still gonna go.
But then i was really thinkin bout how he was acting and stuff and how pissed off i was so i called him at like 1:45am an was like jake call me back when u go home!"
Well he called me at 2 and said he was dropping his friend jeff off and then coming over. Well he didnt get here til 3am, so i was pissed he took forever cuz i was tired and watned to go to bed. Well he came over and we were just hangin out in my room in the nice airconditioning and he was layin there practically falling asleep. He was like "im so relaxed the air feels so good bla bla bla" and he had his arms around me and i was just like wtf im so mada t him... i didnt know what i wanted to say to him so finally im like ok i need to talk to you. i want to ask you soemthing so dont get all freaked out or make me feel more stupid. Hes like what you watn to ask me and i know you were gonna ask it , thats why i came over instead of calling you. Im like oh god ok well what is our deal?? cuz im confused as hell, we act like we are going out but we arent and i just want to know whats going on cuz i like you alot but its just annoying not knowing whats going on.
hes liek well i like you, i obviously like you BUT.... im just not ready to commit to a relationship yet. After my ex girlfriend i just cant get back into another relationship just yet, its been 8 months but i just hated how thigns were when me and her went out, i coudlnt go out with my friends, i couldnt do anything i wanted to and i just dont want to deal wtih stuff liek that right now, and i have school starting up again soon and if i get another job while in school i wont have alot of time and thats not fair to you i dont want to hurt your feelings and not be around for you its not fair. And we've been dating for a month now i feel like i know you pretty well , but i know i could know you better and thats why i like dating, its me getitng ot know you as a person first before rushing into anything i like to iknow someone really well before i ask them out cuz people always change after a while. So then hes like did i make you sad now?? and im like ummm no ( i was tryin to act like i didnt care) but then i just rattled off bout everythign i wanted to. I told him i have a problem talking bout stuff like that cuz i get nervous and stuff and hes like yeah i know , thats how i am, and i know we had to talk about this so if you werent gonna birng it up soon i was going to. So then i was like you kojnw if we go out i wont keep you from hanging otu with your friends, i dont care bout that, only thing i would care bout is just you telling me where youre going then i wont care. Like if youw atned to hang out with the guys and not me just be like hey im goin here with the guys bla bla bla and i wouldnt care. I wouldnt hold you back. And i wouldnt want to hangout with you everyday, people need their space, need to hang out with their friends and all of that. And i jsut kept sayin all that stuff. Then he was aying how he just is scared of commitment and he could tell i would want a commitment, and he just wants to take it slow bla bla bla
so yeah i was kinda disappointed but relieved to know what the fuck is going on ya know?
But like jake also said to me, who knows when ill come around , when ill be ready for a commitment, may be tomorrow, may be a few weeks, maybe a few months who knows but thats jus tme and im being honest with you about it. and im the stupid one tho cuz jake did tell me on our first date he didnt want to rush into anything he wasnt out for a relationship but i didnt really listen, i just blew it off. SO i dunno what to do now like i like him alot, hes one of the few guys who crack me up, that i am comfortable around and who calls me all the time. I do like him alot and i do think in some aspects hes worth me waitin around for and continue dating him and stuff and then when i think bout other stuff i shouldnt have to wait around its bullshit. Bu ti dunno what to do, ill just let it go at this for now and see how things go, but im not gonna be used and im not gonna get hurt by this so wish me luck
that boy better come around hah
whyyyyyy does like have to be like a fuckin soap opera?????
my cell phone may come tomorro w:) :)):):):):):) they better send me a cool one