emotional rollarcoaster much?
Im crazy. This week has been crazy. Im finally being socially crazy, and I miss home like crazy. This week definetly FLEW by! Which was nice for a change. Pretty sure my fight with Daniel was on Sunday.. That was a killer. He was just saying a whole bunch of crazy little things. We constantly keep each other in check I think, because we say shit to one another that will purposely make the other one jealous/angry. Like, I told him I was going to smoke pot, and he told me he was going to ask some girl on a date..all in a joking matter, but thats how we show affection! Basically, he said he wasn't going anywhere, but that he cant handle the distance either. Which is understandable, completly. However, I finally realized that the reason why I took everything so harshly was because I'm one of thee jealous people on the planet. And I honestly blame that on Chris. Because back in the day, he was telling me how he was going to hangout with some girl that was his friend, and I didnt give 2 shits, and I was like alright, have fun. And he's like how I can't believe you would just let me off like that. So ever since that moment, I've become worried and a jealous person. It's weird, because I know that even if Danny Fay went on a date with someone, or hungout with another girl, I KNOW for a fact, that he couldn't have the heart to tell me that. And when it comes down to it, that means that he obviousally cares about me and my feelings, a lot. I'm going to try to keep everything sane with him, and coach us both through this year. We both decided that we just need to see each other and hug and everything will feel right again. I can't believe how I'm this far in with Danny Fay..it's crazy. But it's a good feeling.
Hmmm then Tuesday was Ricky's party! It was so much fun! It was such a nice feeling to be at a party where there's no tears, no drama, no puke, and only a little bit of rape involved. Turns out that, I try to go to the bathroom to help some stranger who APPEARED to be sick in the toilet, but just waited for me to lean down to throw me up against a wall and grab at the buttons on my pants. However, I'm a fucking tough bitch and slapped him across the face. Literally, like I never actually slapped someone across the face with such rage and fear til that night. I got really nicely drunk, and had a great time. I made improvements with Ricky too because he smooched me twice and grabbed my tit. ;-) Got back to school and lugged my drunk ass up the 4 flights of stairs, and passed the fuck out. Woke up with breakfast at my door courtesy of Jerrel and texted Daniel for the morning. I ended up staying in bed until like 2 which was so nice. I havent been able to sleep in, for at the least, a month now. And it was just so relaxing to be such a bum. I did nothing on my day off, and that's how it should be!
Thursday and today wasn't/isn't going bad either. Thursdays math class was insane. Leanna got kicked out of class! She kinda has an attitude problem, and a bad mouth. The teacher was kind of having a bad day and getting a little frustrated with the class, and she said a couple of wrong things, and he just freaked. He told her to leave the room otherwise he would have security come down and escort her. It was crazy! So then she was like, "This is fucking ridiculious" and he was like, "oh well im glad it's not just ridiculious but FUCKING ridiculious!" and then she packed her stuff and got out. He promised the class two quiz grades of an A if we did 2 problems correctly like 10 minutes before all this mess.. and then after Leanna left he tried to dismiss the rest of the class in the middle of all of us working hard on the problems, so I was like, uhm well im still doing the problems? And he was like well no one is trying or wants to be here..and me and Tiffany were like yeah that's not true, come look our papers. So he realized he was a dick, and let everyone stay til the end of class to finish. It was pure highschool grade A beef.
Today was ugh kinda shitty actually. HOWEVER! It was my last day of serving class, so that was the highlight. Greg is the boy in my class that really doesn't know what he's doing, and is too immature for this industry..and today he was captain. It was also our final on the actual service. He sent me and him to go downstairs and do the dishes, which was fine, but normally Him Leanna and Derek do it, because theyre buddy buddies. I had to get my uniform from chef, and then I went downstairs to help him out. Me and Tiffany are always giving the 110% and the rest of them are kind of just there. And today was the day I kinda got really fed up. Me and Greg finish everything, and I ran upstairs to put dishes away, and asked him if he could stay behind and lock up. He said yes. I walk upstairs and realize that they didn't give us all the dishes. So I run downstairs and see Greg locking the door up, so I was like ahh no there's a little bit more to do. So he was like, ok, can you stay behind and do it? So I said yes naturally. Now, there's procedure for locking up downstairs. You have to, clean out the sink, turn the machine off, mop, take this part out, and take out the garbage. He had the machine on, didn't take out the garbage, and left food in the sink. Tell me how he planned on locking up? So I was pissed, but whatever. Then! I go upstairs and don't see Lea or Derek anywhere. Apparently, they went to the bathroom. Then I hear them talking shit about how the glasses werent dried enough for them to put out on the tables! Like wtf, that is your job! How dare you. It's hard to explain, but it was just so annoying, and so tiring while it was going on. Shit like this happened all the time. I finally squashed the beef with Derek and we get along now, I just hate picking up slack. I like to work hard, but not pick up other peoples slack. Theres a big difference.
Accounting was only an hour today, and then I came up to my room where Leanna and Jerrel were talking. Pauly and Shameka came up a little after that, and we all just chilled. Leanna kicked em all out, and she went out and I took a shower. I really dont feel like doing anything tonight, I've been craving to watch 8 mile, so Im going to do that. Im sure I'll get iterupted because this whole week people have been in and out of our room and here til like 12 or 1 in the morning. Its nice, but cmonnnn I need to start going to bed early again!
I called my mom today. She got me a credit card. She always heard me bitch about how I could never build my credit up, and she applied for a card for me, and ended up having to pay like 70 bucks to get it activated too. She was saying how it's going to be a sad Christmas, which in my family means a poor one. I don't want anything from anyone though. I feel like complete garbage that I can't buy anything anyone. I know that most of my friends will end up buying me something, and I really don't want them too. I love buying presents, it sucks. She was saying how she was going to send me like 20 bucks a week because she felt bad, but I told her that that isnt necessary. She doesn't have money, and I don't need to be wasting it on beer. I miss her, I actually miss my mom. How crazy. I want my car..so badly..
Danny Fay and I were talking last night, and I was telling him the Bob Saget DVD was really hilarious and makes me laugh, and one of the best gifts I got, and he was like oh just you wait til christmas. Then I was like fuckkkk I don't want him to buy me anything. I told him not to, and he kind of just 'okay'ed me to death. I'm it's nothing big, but still. He asked for my address at school to send something, so we'll see. I have a cute idea for him too, but I guess I'll have to prostitute myself for the dough.
People are making me hangout tonight, I dont want to leave my room.
Long Island, I want to come home.
Hmmm then Tuesday was Ricky's party! It was so much fun! It was such a nice feeling to be at a party where there's no tears, no drama, no puke, and only a little bit of rape involved. Turns out that, I try to go to the bathroom to help some stranger who APPEARED to be sick in the toilet, but just waited for me to lean down to throw me up against a wall and grab at the buttons on my pants. However, I'm a fucking tough bitch and slapped him across the face. Literally, like I never actually slapped someone across the face with such rage and fear til that night. I got really nicely drunk, and had a great time. I made improvements with Ricky too because he smooched me twice and grabbed my tit. ;-) Got back to school and lugged my drunk ass up the 4 flights of stairs, and passed the fuck out. Woke up with breakfast at my door courtesy of Jerrel and texted Daniel for the morning. I ended up staying in bed until like 2 which was so nice. I havent been able to sleep in, for at the least, a month now. And it was just so relaxing to be such a bum. I did nothing on my day off, and that's how it should be!
Thursday and today wasn't/isn't going bad either. Thursdays math class was insane. Leanna got kicked out of class! She kinda has an attitude problem, and a bad mouth. The teacher was kind of having a bad day and getting a little frustrated with the class, and she said a couple of wrong things, and he just freaked. He told her to leave the room otherwise he would have security come down and escort her. It was crazy! So then she was like, "This is fucking ridiculious" and he was like, "oh well im glad it's not just ridiculious but FUCKING ridiculious!" and then she packed her stuff and got out. He promised the class two quiz grades of an A if we did 2 problems correctly like 10 minutes before all this mess.. and then after Leanna left he tried to dismiss the rest of the class in the middle of all of us working hard on the problems, so I was like, uhm well im still doing the problems? And he was like well no one is trying or wants to be here..and me and Tiffany were like yeah that's not true, come look our papers. So he realized he was a dick, and let everyone stay til the end of class to finish. It was pure highschool grade A beef.
Today was ugh kinda shitty actually. HOWEVER! It was my last day of serving class, so that was the highlight. Greg is the boy in my class that really doesn't know what he's doing, and is too immature for this industry..and today he was captain. It was also our final on the actual service. He sent me and him to go downstairs and do the dishes, which was fine, but normally Him Leanna and Derek do it, because theyre buddy buddies. I had to get my uniform from chef, and then I went downstairs to help him out. Me and Tiffany are always giving the 110% and the rest of them are kind of just there. And today was the day I kinda got really fed up. Me and Greg finish everything, and I ran upstairs to put dishes away, and asked him if he could stay behind and lock up. He said yes. I walk upstairs and realize that they didn't give us all the dishes. So I run downstairs and see Greg locking the door up, so I was like ahh no there's a little bit more to do. So he was like, ok, can you stay behind and do it? So I said yes naturally. Now, there's procedure for locking up downstairs. You have to, clean out the sink, turn the machine off, mop, take this part out, and take out the garbage. He had the machine on, didn't take out the garbage, and left food in the sink. Tell me how he planned on locking up? So I was pissed, but whatever. Then! I go upstairs and don't see Lea or Derek anywhere. Apparently, they went to the bathroom. Then I hear them talking shit about how the glasses werent dried enough for them to put out on the tables! Like wtf, that is your job! How dare you. It's hard to explain, but it was just so annoying, and so tiring while it was going on. Shit like this happened all the time. I finally squashed the beef with Derek and we get along now, I just hate picking up slack. I like to work hard, but not pick up other peoples slack. Theres a big difference.
Accounting was only an hour today, and then I came up to my room where Leanna and Jerrel were talking. Pauly and Shameka came up a little after that, and we all just chilled. Leanna kicked em all out, and she went out and I took a shower. I really dont feel like doing anything tonight, I've been craving to watch 8 mile, so Im going to do that. Im sure I'll get iterupted because this whole week people have been in and out of our room and here til like 12 or 1 in the morning. Its nice, but cmonnnn I need to start going to bed early again!
I called my mom today. She got me a credit card. She always heard me bitch about how I could never build my credit up, and she applied for a card for me, and ended up having to pay like 70 bucks to get it activated too. She was saying how it's going to be a sad Christmas, which in my family means a poor one. I don't want anything from anyone though. I feel like complete garbage that I can't buy anything anyone. I know that most of my friends will end up buying me something, and I really don't want them too. I love buying presents, it sucks. She was saying how she was going to send me like 20 bucks a week because she felt bad, but I told her that that isnt necessary. She doesn't have money, and I don't need to be wasting it on beer. I miss her, I actually miss my mom. How crazy. I want my car..so badly..
Danny Fay and I were talking last night, and I was telling him the Bob Saget DVD was really hilarious and makes me laugh, and one of the best gifts I got, and he was like oh just you wait til christmas. Then I was like fuckkkk I don't want him to buy me anything. I told him not to, and he kind of just 'okay'ed me to death. I'm it's nothing big, but still. He asked for my address at school to send something, so we'll see. I have a cute idea for him too, but I guess I'll have to prostitute myself for the dough.
People are making me hangout tonight, I dont want to leave my room.
Long Island, I want to come home.