Oh my gosh. 3 comments. I read through this and I didn't even feel any kilig at all. (Maybe cos I wrote it. LOL.) You must be high from One Week. I think that's my best so far, considering your essay long comment.
“Alright, I’m showing it!” Toma gave up. “Finally… You’re gonna tire me out before we even step out of my house,” Mai sat down on her bed. should be :
“Alright, I’m showing it!” Toma gave up.
“Finally… You’re gonna tire me out before we even step out of my house,” Mai sat down on her bed.
When another character starts speaking , you should start a new line . It`s less confusing that way . =)
Other than that , this was good . The chapters may be short but each chapter gives a little idea of what the characters are like so there is character development . It seems like there`s a lot going on so it`s not as clichéd as you think it might be .
But mostly, thank you for the suggestion. I used to do that, but since sometimes, I did a lot of conversations, and the page would turn so long. & for some reason, long pages annoyed me? ><" But since it's confusing, I'll try to start that habit again. :D
I seriously thought someone would've stopped me by now. But all they've been saying is 'continue'. *cries* The Arashi fandom rules.
Bcos I thought the story was getting uninteresting... *pouts* But hey, you gave me cookies! *grin* Not really someone will tell me to stop, but more like someone will tell me it's getting a bit boring. ><"
Thank you for telling me not to drop it! ^^ People like you give me motivation~ Hai, next chapter will be up soon then! Do tell me if it gets boring, onegaishimasu! Criticize too, and if there's any suggestions, do tell me. (: Thank you for reading!
ME TOO! I think everyone did, he was just too cute. ^^ But ending up with him would've ruined the story. LOL. Oguri Shun's hot anyway. It was a win-win situation.
Comments 40
haha!
i wanna be the first to comment this time!
and this time, imma read it right away. ^^,
*reads
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what's with you and making me KILIG!!!???
post the next chap!!!
post it, post it!!!
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yes!
it is worht continuing!
please do continue!
***NO ONE SAY FOR HER TO STOP OR YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!
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You must be high from One Week.
I think that's my best so far, considering your essay long comment.
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NO. you will NOT stop this^^
I am enjoying this too much =D
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dont leave us hanging!!!! I want to read MORE!!!
*pouts like a kid*
toma is so cute when in love <3 please continue^^
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Hai~ Since no one has told me to stop (yet), I guess I have no choice but to keep going? XD
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“Alright, I’m showing it!” Toma gave up. “Finally… You’re gonna tire me out before we even step out of my house,” Mai sat down on her bed. should be :
“Alright, I’m showing it!” Toma gave up.
“Finally… You’re gonna tire me out before we even step out of my house,” Mai sat down on her bed.
When another character starts speaking , you should start a new line . It`s less confusing that way . =)
Other than that , this was good . The chapters may be short but each chapter gives a little idea of what the characters are like so there is character development . It seems like there`s a lot going on so it`s not as clichéd as you think it might be .
Do continue . =)
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But mostly, thank you for the suggestion.
I used to do that, but since sometimes, I did a lot of conversations, and the page would turn so long. & for some reason, long pages annoyed me? ><"
But since it's confusing, I'll try to start that habit again. :D
I seriously thought someone would've stopped me by now. But all they've been saying is 'continue'. *cries*
The Arashi fandom rules.
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But hey, you gave me cookies! *grin*
Not really someone will tell me to stop, but more like someone will tell me it's getting a bit boring. ><"
The story has potential
Aw, TY! XD <33333
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maybe he makes Nino jealous xD
please don't drop this fic >.<
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People like you give me motivation~
Hai, next chapter will be up soon then! Do tell me if it gets boring, onegaishimasu!
Criticize too, and if there's any suggestions, do tell me. (:
Thank you for reading!
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I kept on remembering Hana Kimi Japan in this chapter. ^^
He's so cute when in love.
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But ending up with him would've ruined the story. LOL. Oguri Shun's hot anyway. It was a win-win situation.
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