swing life away
i dont even know whats going on.
i've just been so antsy lately.
and for no reason.
i think that im just unhappy with me.
my job
my environment
my friends
my family
its just like everything lately.
and usually i find some way to help myself.
but i just cant.
i know its really lame and emo, but why cant i find someone who makes me happy on a relationship level. its just so degrading to watch so many people around me be happy and in love.
annnd...
id have a lot less time to think about that if i had my own place to take care of. i cant stand being treated like a five year old any more. seriously, its getting so ridiculous. my mom wont let me drive MY car after "dark". just because i only have one headlight. she gives me the lectures about growing up and being responsible yet she wont let me take the fall for my own dicisions. complete contradiction. and im finally making enough money that i could support myself but she just wont let me move out. and im sick of people telling me how hard it is to be on my own, and i have no idea blah fuckin blah. well i realize that but it would be a hell of a lot better to struggle by myself than to suffer here.
annnd...
i might not be working at the hotel much longer because guess who just got hired and i don't think i can stand working with her. ill kill myself. shes just going to bring me down.
annnd...
shes already bringing me down because shes back with her asshole boyfriend which means i get put on the farrrrr back burner. hes such a jerk. why doesnt she realize that he doesnt care about her, he just wants to fuck her. she gave me all that bullshit about 'im so glad hes gone, im so much better off with out him' bulllll.
annnd...
now the asshole boyfriend is ditching his new 'bff' to get screwed. but i guess it doesnt matter becuse now hes too pre-occupied wth his newblossomingfuckinglove.
and thats it just a continuous circle of shit.
thats what my life has become.
but yea my arm is going numb.
what else is new.
i've just been so antsy lately.
and for no reason.
i think that im just unhappy with me.
my job
my environment
my friends
my family
its just like everything lately.
and usually i find some way to help myself.
but i just cant.
i know its really lame and emo, but why cant i find someone who makes me happy on a relationship level. its just so degrading to watch so many people around me be happy and in love.
annnd...
id have a lot less time to think about that if i had my own place to take care of. i cant stand being treated like a five year old any more. seriously, its getting so ridiculous. my mom wont let me drive MY car after "dark". just because i only have one headlight. she gives me the lectures about growing up and being responsible yet she wont let me take the fall for my own dicisions. complete contradiction. and im finally making enough money that i could support myself but she just wont let me move out. and im sick of people telling me how hard it is to be on my own, and i have no idea blah fuckin blah. well i realize that but it would be a hell of a lot better to struggle by myself than to suffer here.
annnd...
i might not be working at the hotel much longer because guess who just got hired and i don't think i can stand working with her. ill kill myself. shes just going to bring me down.
annnd...
shes already bringing me down because shes back with her asshole boyfriend which means i get put on the farrrrr back burner. hes such a jerk. why doesnt she realize that he doesnt care about her, he just wants to fuck her. she gave me all that bullshit about 'im so glad hes gone, im so much better off with out him' bulllll.
annnd...
now the asshole boyfriend is ditching his new 'bff' to get screwed. but i guess it doesnt matter becuse now hes too pre-occupied wth his newblossomingfuckinglove.
and thats it just a continuous circle of shit.
thats what my life has become.
but yea my arm is going numb.
what else is new.