(no subject)
ill post about NY when i have time.
but for now:: i just saw something on someones myspace. yes, his. its something with him and another girl. and the second i saw it, my whole body got so hot and i felt like i was going to throw up. and then i stopped. and i thought about it. Why was i upset? because hes kissing another girl? surprisingly, no. i dont know why. its a RELIEF knowing that that part of our relationship is over. its been really stressful since freaking june and im glad its over.
the thing is, i dont want to be lied to. i was told that he was done with physical relationships. the picture was from after. i dont care if he dates other girls. i wont lie, it does kinda hurt part of me, but i cant expect him to hang around forever. but i do care if he feels the need to lie to me.
no im not that upset. i know i keep saying that. i dont know if its the truth or im trying to convince myself that. either way, initially, it hurt. after that, im good. because now i know i can go out with other guys. ha.
i love where our relationship is now. hes my best friend and there is no frustration with dating or anything.
if we are still friends when we get married, ya, that will hurt too. but honestly i dont think he will ever get married. lol. well. no. that sounds REALLY mean. i take that back. he will. ok now i jsut sound like i was naming kids or something. heck no. i dont want to get married for like 15 years. and i dont want kids. they suck. lol. forget the whole last paragraph....
gar. back on track. my point is that i really just surprised myself by not being too hurt by it. i had the normal reaction, then its gone. im find. tears? far from it. my tummy is still a little odd but its only been about 5 minutes. lol.
its ok. alll i want him to to is tell me the truth. then everything will be fine.
but for now:: i just saw something on someones myspace. yes, his. its something with him and another girl. and the second i saw it, my whole body got so hot and i felt like i was going to throw up. and then i stopped. and i thought about it. Why was i upset? because hes kissing another girl? surprisingly, no. i dont know why. its a RELIEF knowing that that part of our relationship is over. its been really stressful since freaking june and im glad its over.
the thing is, i dont want to be lied to. i was told that he was done with physical relationships. the picture was from after. i dont care if he dates other girls. i wont lie, it does kinda hurt part of me, but i cant expect him to hang around forever. but i do care if he feels the need to lie to me.
no im not that upset. i know i keep saying that. i dont know if its the truth or im trying to convince myself that. either way, initially, it hurt. after that, im good. because now i know i can go out with other guys. ha.
i love where our relationship is now. hes my best friend and there is no frustration with dating or anything.
if we are still friends when we get married, ya, that will hurt too. but honestly i dont think he will ever get married. lol. well. no. that sounds REALLY mean. i take that back. he will. ok now i jsut sound like i was naming kids or something. heck no. i dont want to get married for like 15 years. and i dont want kids. they suck. lol. forget the whole last paragraph....
gar. back on track. my point is that i really just surprised myself by not being too hurt by it. i had the normal reaction, then its gone. im find. tears? far from it. my tummy is still a little odd but its only been about 5 minutes. lol.
its ok. alll i want him to to is tell me the truth. then everything will be fine.