(no subject)
And so the truth comes out. my heart hurts i guess..thats the only way i can say it i guess. I beat myself up about the way i look and i know it sounds dumb but its true. i cant help it. I'll get on these kicks where i'll try to eat healthy and because i dont have a grasp on nutrition i'll end up eating like A piece of fruit for breakfast, half a handful of cashews/almonds for lunch and then half of the healthiest tv dinner i can find (my fam doesnt cook)and then i'll work out....and work out...and work out to the point where i can't stand up because a) i'll feel like throwing up or b) because i'll just fall over. and i never lose it...never lose the weight. i must admit im one of those that looks at the girls in the guys magazines and wishes upon every star in the sky that i had a body like those girls cause then maybe i'd be more attractive and seem more approachable and maybe i'd seem more attractive to him cause lord knows i haven't met one guy yet that hasn't gone gaga over some girl in a magazine. I mean theres a bunch of things i'd like to do but feel that they would never happen because i can't get ahold of my weight...i keep thinking that this is the time when i'm young and am supposed to have the best body i'll ever have in my whole life (since age kinda tends to screw that one over) and i dont have it....