(no subject)
I forgive everyone, for everything. And as the days go on it weighs down my mind and body and heart. When the weekends come I feel so wore down- because of all the people around me. But I love these fucking people so unconditionally that I do it over and over for them.
I forgive him for lying to me about who he is talking to. For smiling at other girls when he thinks I'm not looking. For telling me "fuck you." For making me break my promises day after day, hour after hour. For the sloppy kisses and unwanted touches. I forgive him for not being my boyfriend. I forgive him for never being more than a reason I hate myself.
And I forgive the boy at work who took my virginity before I was really ready. I forgive him for making me walk home that day. For still staring at me from time to time. For using me when I was vulnerable and trusting. For coming back around and showing me he can be a decent person, just not to me. I forgive him for abusing me and now treating me with more respect than anyone. I forgive him for not talking to me since last July.
And I forgive him for leaving well before I was ready. For caring too much, but never enough. I forgive him for understanding me to the point it made me angry. For never saying enough or calling enough. I forgive him for chasing things I could never see. For being one thing I can still always smile for. I forgive him because I feel like it's also forgiving myself.
I forgive him for lying to me about who he is talking to. For smiling at other girls when he thinks I'm not looking. For telling me "fuck you." For making me break my promises day after day, hour after hour. For the sloppy kisses and unwanted touches. I forgive him for not being my boyfriend. I forgive him for never being more than a reason I hate myself.
And I forgive the boy at work who took my virginity before I was really ready. I forgive him for making me walk home that day. For still staring at me from time to time. For using me when I was vulnerable and trusting. For coming back around and showing me he can be a decent person, just not to me. I forgive him for abusing me and now treating me with more respect than anyone. I forgive him for not talking to me since last July.
And I forgive him for leaving well before I was ready. For caring too much, but never enough. I forgive him for understanding me to the point it made me angry. For never saying enough or calling enough. I forgive him for chasing things I could never see. For being one thing I can still always smile for. I forgive him because I feel like it's also forgiving myself.