(no subject)
okay...well alot has changed since that last update... my life was going so well, but now after reading alot of shit... i just wanna die again... i cant even believe that they(a person who will remain naimless) could ever say that... i realli just want to sit in my room and kill myself... everything that i said was going so good all of a sudden just took a turn for the worst...
I realized that i realli need help... i realli and a druggie.. i think it just took my ex-best friends telling me this to realize it.. i realli smoke EVERYDAY at least 2 or 3 times.. thats crazii... my mom want to put me in rehab.. cuz she somehow found out about all of this..
i just realli dont wanna be alive anymore. living is not worth it anymore. i realli miss my aunt and q-tipp... like wtf... in a way they are so lucjy cuz they dont have to deal with any of the bullshit that life brings...
although i have to say i had an awesome night tonight... i hung out with danny...damn that kid is sooo hot..we had soo much fun..
anyway back to all the negative shit. My dad, my own flesh and blood. narked me out to my mom and told her i smoked pot. i was so pissed i didnt talk to him for like a week. it was a realli quite week, cuz my mom was in fla.
i dont know what happened with school... i was looking at all my old report cards from 1st grade till 8th.. and 1-6 i got all a's, not even 1 b... then 7th grade it all went down hill...i started geting c's.. like i dont know what happened... i think when i found out that i didnt get into AAHS it crushed me because i new that my dream of being a doctor since i was 4 was over.. i no i could still do it... but i so badly wanted to go to that school.. it was a dream of mine for so long...if i would have gone to AAHS i wouldnt be failing almost all my classes, i would still be friends with all my OLD friends, i wouldnt skip class, i wouldnt smoke pot all the time, i wouldnt drink. i still blame dustin for not getting in cuz he didnt even want to go there but his parents made him apply... and c'mon its dustin he was the smartest kid in our grade... of course he would make it over me...
I realli wish i could just die, worse than ever b4.. nothing can ever go my way... its like the whole fucking world is against me...
whatever... im done with everything...
I realized that i realli need help... i realli and a druggie.. i think it just took my ex-best friends telling me this to realize it.. i realli smoke EVERYDAY at least 2 or 3 times.. thats crazii... my mom want to put me in rehab.. cuz she somehow found out about all of this..
i just realli dont wanna be alive anymore. living is not worth it anymore. i realli miss my aunt and q-tipp... like wtf... in a way they are so lucjy cuz they dont have to deal with any of the bullshit that life brings...
although i have to say i had an awesome night tonight... i hung out with danny...damn that kid is sooo hot..we had soo much fun..
anyway back to all the negative shit. My dad, my own flesh and blood. narked me out to my mom and told her i smoked pot. i was so pissed i didnt talk to him for like a week. it was a realli quite week, cuz my mom was in fla.
i dont know what happened with school... i was looking at all my old report cards from 1st grade till 8th.. and 1-6 i got all a's, not even 1 b... then 7th grade it all went down hill...i started geting c's.. like i dont know what happened... i think when i found out that i didnt get into AAHS it crushed me because i new that my dream of being a doctor since i was 4 was over.. i no i could still do it... but i so badly wanted to go to that school.. it was a dream of mine for so long...if i would have gone to AAHS i wouldnt be failing almost all my classes, i would still be friends with all my OLD friends, i wouldnt skip class, i wouldnt smoke pot all the time, i wouldnt drink. i still blame dustin for not getting in cuz he didnt even want to go there but his parents made him apply... and c'mon its dustin he was the smartest kid in our grade... of course he would make it over me...
I realli wish i could just die, worse than ever b4.. nothing can ever go my way... its like the whole fucking world is against me...
whatever... im done with everything...