confessions of a drummer bitch.

[xjustlikesallyx]

i am so sufficiently burned out. i can hardly breathe without thinking of what's to come...because frankly..I don't know what's around the corner. I don't know what to expect. I'm scared...frightened..worried..anxious. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't know whether to cry or scream or smile. Nothing makes sense anymore and I wish it did. I just wish I was happy again with myself. I'm not happy. I wish I was. But I'm not. And to make matters completely and utterly worse..I like Alex Judd ♥ again and I just would rather not. It's very complicated and terribly difficult to like Alex. He's very emotionally unattached. He's very distant, but he's very horny. I don't know if it would work out or not...so I'm just going to have to see what happens when we hang out more I guess. I mean..maybe I could invite him over so he can help me with drums and stuff like that...instead of having to worry all about the shit that people say whenever we're together.
besides falling for my favorite drummer boy again, I have fallen in love with this lovely curly haired boy named Garrett(ironic, eh?) and he's absolutely adorable..and I mentioned him before, but now I have actually started smiling..and waving at him instead of just making eye contact. He is a rather sweet and delicious young man, so I'm looking forward to getting to know him better.
Other than that, things are boring, slow moving, and irrelevant.
♥