Ive got a feeling.
well.
I will tell you that pregancy is one of the most worst and best things of my life. Only because I dont have support from keith which entangles me with sadness and despair. He is just too immature about this. Im being strong and trying to do this all on my own. I can. My family is huge and I have all the oppurtunity in the world to be something plus a single mom if the need be.. Im starting school in like a few weeks for medical billing. Im excited about that. I can actully start school now since the morning sickness has subsided. Its around every now and then. Not as bad as it was.. Last week I had a cold and the flu. MY LUCK.. lmao. Keiths idea of being there for me is going to canada to the clubs while im pregnant. being drunk like 4 days out of the week. spending one day with me a week.. sunday. doing things that make me regret meeting him. making me feel like I felt over the summer and I swore that I would never let anyone put me down to that feeling. and he did it. I allowed myself to get that way . Its different when you are pregnant though. YOu cant just leave and never see that person again. For the rest of my life, he will be in it. He says he loves me, more than I know. that he is there. He dosnt want to be single, He wants to marry me, but he dosnt show me the things I need. Its hard. Its hard when someone says those things to you, and does the exact opposite. what do you do?? what do you say? Its such a difficult situation. I love this little person inside of me. I dont want to give this person away, or terminate this little person, who could cure a disease or be something so big. I cant. I couldnt. And I dont want to. I know its a girl!!! I feel it. The name is kendall. If it were to be a boy, itd be evan. I cant wait till the baby is here. Summer isnt as far as it seems. I have heard the heartbeat too many times to not want this little angel. I wasnt so smart about No condom. BUT, I wasnt supposed to be able to get pregant for like a year, after what I went through over summer. I had a very low chance, and god Obviously felt I needed this little person. thatd Id be a good enough mommy to this angel. And the fact that its due on lisa's anniversary, makes sooo much sense. I will cry if It actully happens on that day. Then I know that this is lisa telling me its alright :) . They asked me if I wanted the test to determine if the baby had any genetic deformities. well the test for cystic-fibrosis, they ask that, so if the baby has it, you can terminate the pregnancy. I said NO. I will love this baby so much , that I dont care if the baby has cystic-fibrosis. I will love this baby just the same. You think im selfish? I dont. Lisa, had cystic-fibrosis, and even though she didnt lead a long life, She knew what life was all about. She understood miracles, and what life was. how much she cherished it. And if my baby, can understand the reason for our existence and love life more than any other person in the world, then so be it and that right there, is what makes me believe that, just because you have it, dosnt mean you cant live life. LIsa lived life more than any other person I have ever met. As hard as her life was, SHE LOVED It. She made life beautiful. And I know this baby, regardless of what might be , will make my life more beautiful. She touched my life in so many ways, and I hope I can pass down the wisdom lisa gave me to my baby.
I cant wait for this baby. Just to hold my little punkin!!
Im just dealing with alot of stressful things right now. And its scary.
any advice ????
Raechel Jennifer
I will tell you that pregancy is one of the most worst and best things of my life. Only because I dont have support from keith which entangles me with sadness and despair. He is just too immature about this. Im being strong and trying to do this all on my own. I can. My family is huge and I have all the oppurtunity in the world to be something plus a single mom if the need be.. Im starting school in like a few weeks for medical billing. Im excited about that. I can actully start school now since the morning sickness has subsided. Its around every now and then. Not as bad as it was.. Last week I had a cold and the flu. MY LUCK.. lmao. Keiths idea of being there for me is going to canada to the clubs while im pregnant. being drunk like 4 days out of the week. spending one day with me a week.. sunday. doing things that make me regret meeting him. making me feel like I felt over the summer and I swore that I would never let anyone put me down to that feeling. and he did it. I allowed myself to get that way . Its different when you are pregnant though. YOu cant just leave and never see that person again. For the rest of my life, he will be in it. He says he loves me, more than I know. that he is there. He dosnt want to be single, He wants to marry me, but he dosnt show me the things I need. Its hard. Its hard when someone says those things to you, and does the exact opposite. what do you do?? what do you say? Its such a difficult situation. I love this little person inside of me. I dont want to give this person away, or terminate this little person, who could cure a disease or be something so big. I cant. I couldnt. And I dont want to. I know its a girl!!! I feel it. The name is kendall. If it were to be a boy, itd be evan. I cant wait till the baby is here. Summer isnt as far as it seems. I have heard the heartbeat too many times to not want this little angel. I wasnt so smart about No condom. BUT, I wasnt supposed to be able to get pregant for like a year, after what I went through over summer. I had a very low chance, and god Obviously felt I needed this little person. thatd Id be a good enough mommy to this angel. And the fact that its due on lisa's anniversary, makes sooo much sense. I will cry if It actully happens on that day. Then I know that this is lisa telling me its alright :) . They asked me if I wanted the test to determine if the baby had any genetic deformities. well the test for cystic-fibrosis, they ask that, so if the baby has it, you can terminate the pregnancy. I said NO. I will love this baby so much , that I dont care if the baby has cystic-fibrosis. I will love this baby just the same. You think im selfish? I dont. Lisa, had cystic-fibrosis, and even though she didnt lead a long life, She knew what life was all about. She understood miracles, and what life was. how much she cherished it. And if my baby, can understand the reason for our existence and love life more than any other person in the world, then so be it and that right there, is what makes me believe that, just because you have it, dosnt mean you cant live life. LIsa lived life more than any other person I have ever met. As hard as her life was, SHE LOVED It. She made life beautiful. And I know this baby, regardless of what might be , will make my life more beautiful. She touched my life in so many ways, and I hope I can pass down the wisdom lisa gave me to my baby.
I cant wait for this baby. Just to hold my little punkin!!
Im just dealing with alot of stressful things right now. And its scary.
any advice ????
Raechel Jennifer