(no subject)
So yeah yesterday i got my hair did. i got bangs again. eventually i'll post a picture of it for those of you who won't be seeing me anytime soon. i'm dying my hair brown in like 30 min. i got my nails did too. "real red" for all of them. i also got my glasses fixed so they aren't crooked. and no my face is not cock-eyed/crooked. Foley asked me why i was in GSA [gay straight alliance] ecology club and not Drama. and i said, "FOLEY! you know i can't act!" and she said so what. so i'm going to the meeting monday.. :-[ (FYI-that is a blushing face on AIM) i'm also happy about my choice of being completly clean; even if it is tempting to go back to drinking. nothing else tempts me. and i'm strong like lizzy said. so i can do it. if i want to. and i do. i wrote a poem today. but isn't really about MY feelings. more of how i would feel in a situation. or how i feel if it happened to me. does anyone else think/write about that? or is just me. is anyone else worried that your younger sister/brother/cousin/friend/etc. will make the same mistakes you made no matter what you do? sometimes i think if i had a choice i'd stop that from happeneing. other times i feel that since i felt i had to learn by doing it myself and suffering the consequences, maybe they feel the same. as much as i try, i can be very hypocritical. as much as i'd love to find someone so much like me [for a friend or w/e] i also think that if i did i'd be dissapointed because i always thought and was told i'm different that everyone. but doesn't everyone pick up on habits they see or have been around. so they don't just develop them themselves. right? i mean are you exposed to something that will effect you later on in life, without even knowing at the time? does who you hang out with, make you who you are? does it influence you? if i had grown up in a different place with different people and different situations, would i be the same person? would i be similar? would i like it better? would my life have gone through the same patterns? would i be at this same point in life right now anyways? what i'm getting at is, would i be the same shana? comment if you have an opinion on any of the bullshit i just wrote out.