Sep 22, 2007 16:32
one of those fucking awful black days when nothing is pleasing and everything that happens is an excuse for anger an outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour these are the days when I hate the world, hate the rich, hate the happy, hate the complacent, the tv watchers, beer drinkers, the satisfied ones because I know I can be all of those little hateful things and then I hate myself for realising that there's no preventative, directive or safe approach for living we each know our own fate we know from our youth how to be treated, how we'll be received, how we shall end these things don't change you can change your clothes, change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents but sooner or later your own self will always catch up always it waits in the wings ideas swirl but don't stick they appear but then run off like rain on the windshield one of those rainy day car rides my head implodes, the atmosphere in this car a mirror of my skull wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold, walls of grey, nothing good on the radio not a thought in my head
lets take life and slow it down incredibly slow, frame by frame with two minutes that take ten years to live out yeah, lets do that
telephone poles like praying mantis against the sky, metal arms outstretched so much land travelled so little sense made of it it doesn't mean a thing all this land laid out behind us I'd like to take off into these woods and get good and lost for a while I'm disgusted with petty concerns; parking tickets, breakfast specials does someone just have to carry this weight? abstract typography, methane inconvenience, linear gospel, Nashville sales lady, and torturous lice, mad Elizabeth, Chemotherapy bullshit
I've seen your hallway, you're a dark hallaway, I've heard your stairs creak I can fix my mind on your yes, and on your no I'll film your face today in the sparkling canals, all red, yellow, blue, green brilliance and silver Dutch reflection racing thoughts, racing thoughts, all too real, you're moving so fast now I cant hold your image this image I have of your face by the window, me standing beside you arm on your shoulder a catalogue of images, flashing glimpses then gone again
I'm tethered to this post you stuck in me, every clear afternoon now I'll picture you up in the air twisting your heel, your knees up around me, my face in your hair you scream so well, your smile so loud it still rings in my ears, imitation distant, tired of longing, clean white teeth, stay the course hold the wheel steer on to freedom
open all the boxes open all the boxes open all the boxes open, all, the boxes
times square midday: newspaper buildings, news headlines going around, you watch as they go, and hope that some good comes those tree shadows in the park they're all whistling chasing leaves around six pm, shadows across cobblestones, girl in front of a bathroom mirror she slow and careful paints her face green and mask like matisse portrait a green stripe long shot through apartment window, a monologue on top but no girl in shot the light within you shines like a diamond mine like an unarmed walrus like a dead man face down on the highway like a snake eating its own tail steam turbine, frog farm, two full closets burst open in disarray, soap bubbles in the sun, hospital death bed, red convertible, shopping list, blowjob, deaths head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memories, movements the movie unreeling, about to begin...