here i go again

[xjimax]

i was raised in a house where my father, and god bless him, would bust his ass for 3 fucking kids and his wife in a dead end job that JUST paid the rent. and everyonce in a while he'd go out and flip out and break shit, and could you fucking blame him? the amount of stress he had inside him.

common place he would get in my face and fucking scream if i dropped something, if i was breathing too heavy, if i fucking moved the wrong way. i fucking love my father. we dont have the best relationship, but i love him..

my poor mother stood up to him every fucking chance she could, and she provided both the love of her and my father. i love my mother.

living in my house was like living in the gaza strip during a cease fire, you never knew when someone was gonna fuck up and cause the next explosion....

it was very stressful, hurting, and scary for me and my brothers.

my best fucking friend in the world, my only sister i ever have or will ever have just died

so when people wonder why im such a shy fucking kid, and why i keep my nose clean, and dont bother anyone, and kinda keep to myself.

now you fucking know...

if you wonder why i smoke like a chimney, and am on a permanent vacation kinda mentality
now you fucking know...

im not posting this for your sympathy or pity...its just for your fucking knowledge