Die Young - & - Save Yourself ..
- Okay i dont know whats wrong with me.. ive been having mood swings lately.. and no im not on the rag, im just gah , i dont know what it is ...one second ill be really happy then ill want to kill someone , then ill be crying..i cried myself to sleep last night cause my parents were being a bitch to me and i was thinking about shit and ive came to realize that i cant take it anymore , i meen im not trying to be this way..trust me i dont, but i just cant help it..i told my mom that if i dont bring up my grades by the time i get report cards im dropping out , she didnt say much she just gave me that dissapointed look i dont know im trying HARD to bring up my grades..i meen i dont wanna quit school, i dont want to be a Loser like my parents..its just so fuckin hard here and half the time i dont even go to class wich is my fault..but im just so pissed at everything and everyone .. i listening to Brand New right now and i really like them, the singer is REALLY hot..there video is cool too..i want there cd and Lacey might burn it for me =) gah..i just dont know what to do you all, i need to go back to my counseler ..but, i just cant tell her anything cause i feel like she dont know what a 15 year old girl is going threw even if i tell her..its like ill tell her whats wrong but i wont tell her everything, i like to keep some things to myself sometimes cause i dont want her to end up telling my mom or something, and the medicine she put me on i didnt even take it, i would always throw it away or hide them in my purse, but when i DID take my medicine i was crazier .. ah gah, you know what? i think im going to tell that person that i like him..no need to fuck around ..right? but i dont want to interfer cause he has a gf and i dont wanna ruin our friendship.. cause that always seems to happen to me, but i dont know what to do.. I need some advice people!!! .. but on to happier things in my life..i feel like im getting closer to people i want to get close with ..friends wise tho.. i called Samantha the other day ago and i talked to her about some things and i feel like were getting back close again, which is good..cuase 9 years is a LONG friendship..ya know..and aslo i got my Pink Diamond set for Christmas, its so pretty..my moms getting it today, i basically know everything im getting for Christmas cause im going shopping with mom one day and getting everything..i need some $$ to buy things for my friends.. i think im just going to stay here this weekend and spend time with Lacey and Chalen..and were probably gonna go to the mall.. i kinda wanted to go to the State Game but i decided not too.. i dont feel like doing something like that this weekend..but i guess im out, sorry if you feel like i was complaing in this entry.. i just needed to get that off my chest...
<33 Later
<33 Later