(no subject)
ok, i am gonna spill my guts, right here, right now, so get a mop to clean it all up cuz im spillin em RIGHT HERE, RIGHT now.
so i broke up with jake right before me n jer started dating, best choice i made in a while cuz jerry is like 9027340270972 times better than jake. cuz basically jerry has some manners and knows how to not b an ass, cuz he ISNT one. and jake cant seem to grasp the fact that he is and that he has to ACT in order NOT to b one. ugh ne way
so he calls me to just tell me he wrote me some really long email and that he wants me to see it, i mean i continue talkin to him cuz he finally thinks he loves someone or something other than porn stars and models and nice asses/boobs, and so he claims to luv me more than life. maybe becuz i put up with all his shit a lot but also stood my ground and didnt let myself get treated like shit in his process of giving it to me.
so its not sent, and i call and he jus keeps saying "fuk" over n over, and im gettin over my habit of cussing cuz of my Jerry teehee and its just a tOTAL turn off like OMGOSH SHUT UP lol
so jakes been all depressed, becuz of me i think. he claims to understand that i left him, and i feel terrible that hes hurt, but after all the pain he put ME through, its kinna like telling him "welcome to the other side of the fence" but im not that mean so i just help him as much as i can through this
ne way
so Jerry, the guy thats so unbelievably awsm, is just so amazing. i care about em so much, and i dont wanna tell him to his face but i could see myself possibly rising loving him if givin enough time. i mean wuts not to love about Jer? hes the best.
and i say RISING in luv becuz me n Jer agreed that we dont like the term "falling" in luv cuz it sounds like yur falling into a hole, falling somewhere like your gonna fall and get hurt. tru luv is a beautiful thing, not something u fall onto, something u rise onto if tru.
but i duno cuz then u think, well, wut goes up has got to fall, just like linkin park says "and all your lies has got u floating up above us all, but wut goes up has got to fall" but no, its like, tru luv makes u feel like the happiest/luckiest person ever, like u have wings, so its like rising to heaven correct? so with enough stabalization in the luv u feel maybe the concept of clouds could stop u from falling and have u so peacefully and happily risin into love and stabalized by clouds
im not too sure if ill feel that with jer, only time will tell.
i am possibly THEE most unstabalized person i kno lol
poor brent....we have such a history, and bieng his friend is one of the nicest gifts God has given me. i just wish so bad i could b there for him, u can bet yur ass that if i had a chance to spend the rest of the summer with em i would, just to make up for lost time and such and so he could finally have a friend to b there whenever needed. hes a good guy
of course id miss my Jerry, but weve shared memories and hugs, and we can do that when skool starts, me n brent get a chance to see each other only once a year, and it never really works out. i saw him for a couple hours for the first time this summer for the first time since ive known him which will b about 2 years starting around next semester or quarter.
its friends like brent and jerry and my brother who make me feel like life is above and beyond worth living. becuz i luv them all, in different ways. their words r my wings and their returned love and presence r my clouds . right now i luv jer like a best friend, and i like him like a boyfriend, which is kool. i luv my brother like the best friend slash brother i could ever ask for. i luv brent like my best friend slash kool person i miss. rock on guys i luv u guys so much, if somethin ever happened to u guys id lose my clouds and hit the ground HARd.
does ne one kno how high up clouds r from the ground?
pretty damn far.
that would hurt.
wouldnt it
a lot
and id live through it
thats the worst part
but yeh i thank God so much for their presence, health, and hopeful happiness.
rock on guys, dont forget i luv u
well
this is too long
i hope u enjoyed this
and i hope it wasnt boring
if it was feel free to give suggestions as to how to make it not so boring lol
stay frosty u kool cats
lol
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