the world is such and ugly place
im so sick of all this shit keeping on happening to me. can god just give me a fucking break for once... seriously what next. im so pissed of and sad and tired and dont know what to do anymore because i cant control any of this shit... its rediculous and stupid and i fucking hate everything that is my life rigt now. seriously i dont know what i did to make it so this past year and a half hells fury all comes down at me.... fuck it i might as well just stay in my bed... maybe it will make my life alot easier because i would have to hear these things, see these things, and know that everything around me is a fucking lie and that the walls i thought are thick and strong as bricks protecting me are truely paper thin. im so sick of being decieved by the ones i love so damn much... im so sick of losing them, im so sick of all the complications and knowing that nothing is ever the same again. i remember when i used to long for the days i would grow older and be able to stay out late and drive myself around and all the great benefits that getting older came along with... nobody ever bothered to tell me that with letting down the wall that held behind it my innocents of youth, my whole little sugar coated world and everything i knew would just go to hell. fuck.