i'm burning up for you.
listening to ashlee simpson definitely brings me back to the first summer i spent living in middletown, the first summer after james and i, and the first summer of mary and i being best friends. i was scared as hell moving in with mary and alec, i knew them but not that well, i was scared to be 'ditched' in middletown, miles from the closest thing i had to 'family' and it was just terrifying trying to figure everything out without freaking out. granted, i definitely had my share of freak-outs, but after a month or so of being upset i was fully single, totally over the heartbreak and the jerk who caused it all. and yes, essentially i was ditched in middletown, left to be forgotten by somebody who had better things to do than care about me and that was an extremely hard thing to get over, but i realized that now that i had nobody else to care about, i could focus on caring about myself.
my budding e-friendship with the wonderful and amazing david bilmas gave me the opportunity to, after a wild night of partying in albany for meghan nolans birthday (also the first time i had physically seen ryan since we had broken up-through a car window as we passed), enjoy an evening of miss ashlee at an outdoor concert. jill, mary and i drank whiskey, danced and sang our hearts out, and i couldn't help but feel as i was singing along to her silly songs, that i was finally feeling like my old self again. its funny what makes you realize the ways that you've changed.
now when i listen to ash, i can't believe the paths that my life has gone down. i'm one of those weirdos who can remember many details about the first time i heard a cd or a song, i might not remember the day but i can remember where i was or what it FELT like, the first time i heard clarity by jimmy eat world i was laying in bed sick as a dog and i got really high and forced myself to stay awake to listen to the whole album. i'll never forget it because every time i listen to that album i can't help but have that feeling come back into my mind. at least if i smoke all my brain cells away, i'll always remember how i felt when i heard my favorite songs.
theres nothing quite like music you loved in your youth, to remind you of exactly where you've been, what you've gone through, and the songs that helped you get through it all.
my budding e-friendship with the wonderful and amazing david bilmas gave me the opportunity to, after a wild night of partying in albany for meghan nolans birthday (also the first time i had physically seen ryan since we had broken up-through a car window as we passed), enjoy an evening of miss ashlee at an outdoor concert. jill, mary and i drank whiskey, danced and sang our hearts out, and i couldn't help but feel as i was singing along to her silly songs, that i was finally feeling like my old self again. its funny what makes you realize the ways that you've changed.
now when i listen to ash, i can't believe the paths that my life has gone down. i'm one of those weirdos who can remember many details about the first time i heard a cd or a song, i might not remember the day but i can remember where i was or what it FELT like, the first time i heard clarity by jimmy eat world i was laying in bed sick as a dog and i got really high and forced myself to stay awake to listen to the whole album. i'll never forget it because every time i listen to that album i can't help but have that feeling come back into my mind. at least if i smoke all my brain cells away, i'll always remember how i felt when i heard my favorite songs.
theres nothing quite like music you loved in your youth, to remind you of exactly where you've been, what you've gone through, and the songs that helped you get through it all.