(no subject)
i'm in the middle of cleaning my house and i feel like if i sit down now, i won't get anything else done (especially since i'm sitting down to pack a bong...) but whatever.
today marks the 10th year since my nannie died. and it still makes me cry my eyes out when i think about it, it still makes me sad to think about how i wish she was around to see so many things that have happened in the past 10 years. so much of who i am is because of her, we used to bake together all the time, even though we always burned everything, it was just fun to look through all of her cookbooks (most of which I have now) and pick out desserts to try and make. she'd tape her 'stories' in the afternoons so i could swim for as long as i wanted to in the pool. she always would touch my hair and tell me that there were women who would kill for hair like mine, and that one day i'd be happy to have it. she wanted me to be a nurse. i miss her so much. i'm thankful for the years that we did have together, and happy that i was so close to her, i guess its just hard to deal with somebody dieing, it doesn't matter how long ago it was. i wish i could go see her now, lay on the big pillows in the den and watch tv, take walks in the yard, do crafts and draw pictures with her. and of course give her a giant hug. well, a giant but gentle hug.
having somebody you love that much die on halloween would probably make a lot of people dread halloween, but i still love it. i'm really excited to see mary, go to hallowmas once again, dance my heart out, be in the city-smell the city (sounds weird but whatever. if you know what i mean, you know what i mean), take the scenic train down to poughkeepsie, blunt rides, see the marsdens new puppies, its going to be great and i can't wait. costumes all ready, mary and i are both wearing custom starfleet outfits, which i think is awesome. i can't wait for her to be living up here, seriously.
more eventually.
today marks the 10th year since my nannie died. and it still makes me cry my eyes out when i think about it, it still makes me sad to think about how i wish she was around to see so many things that have happened in the past 10 years. so much of who i am is because of her, we used to bake together all the time, even though we always burned everything, it was just fun to look through all of her cookbooks (most of which I have now) and pick out desserts to try and make. she'd tape her 'stories' in the afternoons so i could swim for as long as i wanted to in the pool. she always would touch my hair and tell me that there were women who would kill for hair like mine, and that one day i'd be happy to have it. she wanted me to be a nurse. i miss her so much. i'm thankful for the years that we did have together, and happy that i was so close to her, i guess its just hard to deal with somebody dieing, it doesn't matter how long ago it was. i wish i could go see her now, lay on the big pillows in the den and watch tv, take walks in the yard, do crafts and draw pictures with her. and of course give her a giant hug. well, a giant but gentle hug.
having somebody you love that much die on halloween would probably make a lot of people dread halloween, but i still love it. i'm really excited to see mary, go to hallowmas once again, dance my heart out, be in the city-smell the city (sounds weird but whatever. if you know what i mean, you know what i mean), take the scenic train down to poughkeepsie, blunt rides, see the marsdens new puppies, its going to be great and i can't wait. costumes all ready, mary and i are both wearing custom starfleet outfits, which i think is awesome. i can't wait for her to be living up here, seriously.
more eventually.