(no subject)
I don't know how to get over this and I don't feel that writing this on paper is going to cut it.
His name was Andrew, He put the others to shame. We stayed up all night by the fireplace, we drove out to samburo and layed in his car with a blanket just to see the stars. He bought me flowers and cake. Andrew was (is) in the military. i guess i should have clued in there... i thought things would be fine he was a GREAT guy. his sister was more than cool. His family liked me at first. Then his parents found handcuffs which realistically should ahve been the least of their worries they have no idea their son is a sexual deviant. I wont lie I'm going to miss that. His parents told him that i didnt fit into the military life and come on. I don't. At all. I dont agree with anything they believe in. They told him if he didn't break up with me they would kick him out... now i would never ask someone to choose between me and their parents but get a grip and a backbone. we got back together but my trust wasmore than shaken only after i get a phone call asking me if i would give up doing suicide girls going to the pavilion hanging out with my friends that have criminal records and friends that are 'anarchiests' . Then He left for two months it was exam time so i spent my time worrying not studying. I spent my time thinking about him. FUCK. i would get a txt every morning and every night... ok shitty deal but whatever. I woke up one morning and i didn't have a txt... ok big deal? shouldn't be oh but, it was. what was he doing that he would forget? was he drinking? was there a girl? FUCK. too much to deal with during exams. i started looking for apartments. I dont want to move out that badly. Jesus i ahve free food hot water and internet/cable. then the very first weekend he was gone he wentdrining... ok thats shitty...very shitty even i didnt sleep i waited for that txt "im home safe" i started noticing inconsistancies and letting them slide. it was 5 am infomertials are the best thing sometimes. I started worrying more and more i started to not txt him... that got his attention. Then it was coming to prom time. I felt so guilty about him not being my date. I felt so guilty that my date was my first like makeout friend. I flet guilty that dylan had spent the night(clearly nothing happend) i flet gulity all the same especially when i didnt tell him. The whole wanting me to cang started taking a huge toll on me i tried to justify it i tried to tell myself i wnated to. I started hating him. The night before prom i called him. I told him that i was feeling shitty and he said "you know we'll be drinking in the apartment" and i was like um what. Its a RESPECT thing you know? i may not support the troops in the middle east but as long as your not there i'll support you. then it came.... "i signed up to go" it was obvious what came next "i can't do this, that was always a deal breaker... i will not wait for you I loved the idea and safety i thought you offered but, i dont think im inlove with you" i said that i was sorry and hung up the phone. looking back i think he knew what he was doing i think in the end he forced me into breaking up with him because frankley he didnt have the balls to do it. so what im trying to say is that he's a shitty person for all of the above reasons.
His name was Andrew, He put the others to shame. We stayed up all night by the fireplace, we drove out to samburo and layed in his car with a blanket just to see the stars. He bought me flowers and cake. Andrew was (is) in the military. i guess i should have clued in there... i thought things would be fine he was a GREAT guy. his sister was more than cool. His family liked me at first. Then his parents found handcuffs which realistically should ahve been the least of their worries they have no idea their son is a sexual deviant. I wont lie I'm going to miss that. His parents told him that i didnt fit into the military life and come on. I don't. At all. I dont agree with anything they believe in. They told him if he didn't break up with me they would kick him out... now i would never ask someone to choose between me and their parents but get a grip and a backbone. we got back together but my trust wasmore than shaken only after i get a phone call asking me if i would give up doing suicide girls going to the pavilion hanging out with my friends that have criminal records and friends that are 'anarchiests' . Then He left for two months it was exam time so i spent my time worrying not studying. I spent my time thinking about him. FUCK. i would get a txt every morning and every night... ok shitty deal but whatever. I woke up one morning and i didn't have a txt... ok big deal? shouldn't be oh but, it was. what was he doing that he would forget? was he drinking? was there a girl? FUCK. too much to deal with during exams. i started looking for apartments. I dont want to move out that badly. Jesus i ahve free food hot water and internet/cable. then the very first weekend he was gone he wentdrining... ok thats shitty...very shitty even i didnt sleep i waited for that txt "im home safe" i started noticing inconsistancies and letting them slide. it was 5 am infomertials are the best thing sometimes. I started worrying more and more i started to not txt him... that got his attention. Then it was coming to prom time. I felt so guilty about him not being my date. I felt so guilty that my date was my first like makeout friend. I flet guilty that dylan had spent the night(clearly nothing happend) i flet gulity all the same especially when i didnt tell him. The whole wanting me to cang started taking a huge toll on me i tried to justify it i tried to tell myself i wnated to. I started hating him. The night before prom i called him. I told him that i was feeling shitty and he said "you know we'll be drinking in the apartment" and i was like um what. Its a RESPECT thing you know? i may not support the troops in the middle east but as long as your not there i'll support you. then it came.... "i signed up to go" it was obvious what came next "i can't do this, that was always a deal breaker... i will not wait for you I loved the idea and safety i thought you offered but, i dont think im inlove with you" i said that i was sorry and hung up the phone. looking back i think he knew what he was doing i think in the end he forced me into breaking up with him because frankley he didnt have the balls to do it. so what im trying to say is that he's a shitty person for all of the above reasons.