Spring Break coming up
From a recent complaint, I've decided to update.. How ironic it is that the two people who told me to write in my journal don't comment! ..Which is the whole reason why I stopped this one and just did xanga..
Anyway... I'm super tired now.. I'm going to go pick up Steven from the airport Saturday morning at 9:51am.. He's going to be staying with me until the 29th on Monday, where I drop him off at the airport again.. haha.. I wonder how that will be.. Just thinking about him and stuff.. I really just want to be his friend, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm really confused right now about guy friends.. I know I have one guy friend for sure (Tim) which is cool. The situation with Tim is very strange though. He's like my brother, yet he's not, which makes him my "guy friend," which is very unusual for me, and I want all my relationships with guys to be like how it is with Tim, which is what I was kind of saying to him tonight, but not fully.. But yeah, that's what I'd like with Steven. Like a really comfortable, free, open, friendly relationship with no tension. Unfortuantely for me, there is a lot of tension, especially because steven likes me AND because if he were to like someone else, I'd get jealous.. Yeah, I know that's bad on my part.. Blah. I'm just a jealous girl.. (In the tune to "Jealous Guy" by John Lennon)
Which reminds me.. My new current favorite Beatle is George Harrison! Although John Lennon is (was) an awesome musician and song writer, his personality and behavior wasn't the best. I kind of look down on what he did, including all that drinking and cheating on both of his wives, etc. (Yes I found out that he did in fact cheat on Yoko Ono, and then they broke up for 9 months, but then they got back together) And George Harrison probably had the best personality out of all of the Beatles, and was very kind, and an awesome musician as well. He wrote some of the best Beatles songs.. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," and "Something" are awesome. "All things must pass" is also great, I have the album. He was a great guy, he also donated a lot of money to a bunch of charities too.. When I was reading about him, I began to get kind of sad and a little depressed, and it was then when I understood why Steven got so depressed when he was talking about George.. At first I was thinking "dude.. I know it's sad that he's gone, but get over it." I guess it just makes it more sad because he died such a short time ago, in 2001, and that we were alive then.. John Lennon on the other hand, is like over and done with, like that was 24 years ago.. It's already been fully mourned, but George, not even 3 years ago.. and he lived in Hawaii, too.. Which means I could have met him (including Steven.. He said that his rock n roll class teacher said he could have easily arranged for George to come and speak to the class for a bit) and I could have come too.. I guess that's what makes it sad.. But, I've become emotionally detached from a lot of things.. I don't know.. I've been thinking about detachment a lot lately, and how I should become more detached.. However, that's bad when other people around me are not emotionally detached, and they are in fact quite emotional, and I become annoyed with them.. So I don't know what to do, but I think that I should just end this entry.. Who cares if no one comments? I'm supposed to be detached, right?
Anyway... I'm super tired now.. I'm going to go pick up Steven from the airport Saturday morning at 9:51am.. He's going to be staying with me until the 29th on Monday, where I drop him off at the airport again.. haha.. I wonder how that will be.. Just thinking about him and stuff.. I really just want to be his friend, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm really confused right now about guy friends.. I know I have one guy friend for sure (Tim) which is cool. The situation with Tim is very strange though. He's like my brother, yet he's not, which makes him my "guy friend," which is very unusual for me, and I want all my relationships with guys to be like how it is with Tim, which is what I was kind of saying to him tonight, but not fully.. But yeah, that's what I'd like with Steven. Like a really comfortable, free, open, friendly relationship with no tension. Unfortuantely for me, there is a lot of tension, especially because steven likes me AND because if he were to like someone else, I'd get jealous.. Yeah, I know that's bad on my part.. Blah. I'm just a jealous girl.. (In the tune to "Jealous Guy" by John Lennon)
Which reminds me.. My new current favorite Beatle is George Harrison! Although John Lennon is (was) an awesome musician and song writer, his personality and behavior wasn't the best. I kind of look down on what he did, including all that drinking and cheating on both of his wives, etc. (Yes I found out that he did in fact cheat on Yoko Ono, and then they broke up for 9 months, but then they got back together) And George Harrison probably had the best personality out of all of the Beatles, and was very kind, and an awesome musician as well. He wrote some of the best Beatles songs.. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," and "Something" are awesome. "All things must pass" is also great, I have the album. He was a great guy, he also donated a lot of money to a bunch of charities too.. When I was reading about him, I began to get kind of sad and a little depressed, and it was then when I understood why Steven got so depressed when he was talking about George.. At first I was thinking "dude.. I know it's sad that he's gone, but get over it." I guess it just makes it more sad because he died such a short time ago, in 2001, and that we were alive then.. John Lennon on the other hand, is like over and done with, like that was 24 years ago.. It's already been fully mourned, but George, not even 3 years ago.. and he lived in Hawaii, too.. Which means I could have met him (including Steven.. He said that his rock n roll class teacher said he could have easily arranged for George to come and speak to the class for a bit) and I could have come too.. I guess that's what makes it sad.. But, I've become emotionally detached from a lot of things.. I don't know.. I've been thinking about detachment a lot lately, and how I should become more detached.. However, that's bad when other people around me are not emotionally detached, and they are in fact quite emotional, and I become annoyed with them.. So I don't know what to do, but I think that I should just end this entry.. Who cares if no one comments? I'm supposed to be detached, right?