For No One
Are there some people out there who you don't feel are quite human? Then again, what is a "human"? Oh well, that's not the point being discussed in this entry... Thing is.. There are some people who I just cannot see their humanity... They are just far too abnormal, beyond reasoning even. It's very peculiar. Take an action, for example, brushing your teeth. Very human thing to do. Now take someone who refused to brush their teeth.. Not only were they being abnormal, but also having very bad breath and most likely gum decay... Okay that was a bad example.. Never mind. This is pointless.
I guess.. I don't know. I have a superiority complex, as well as an inferiority complex. The superiority complex believes that I am better than anyone and everyone else, while the inferiority complex believes that it should not be this way, and that I more than likely am not better, am probably worse, and no one else likes me.
I sometimes wonder about the motives of people. The motives of both guys and girls. I have few friends who are girls, and many of the guys who I associate with...Well, I don't associate with them for very long as most of them end up liking me, finding out that I don't like them, then quickly detaching, or just not getting any close to me at all, and then just slowly erase themself from the picture altogether. I never was any good at keeping any of my male friends. I blame it mostly on Sacred Hearts. Then again, there are so many there who do not have the problem that I seem to have. Maybe it just affected me differently. I do not know how to deal with men.
It's weird... I have grown so accustomed to the "older male body" that to see a little boy (around my age) almost disgusts me. I mean, I can see all their baby fat, and their young eyes, their skimpy muscles, their boyish grin, everything. And it just disgusts me. Like I want them to all grow up already.
I did however recently meet someone who was around my age, 18, who I thought I might have a chance with. Unfortuanately, as my luck would have it, I do not. He hasn't come online for about a week, and I'm almost about ready to give up on him. I hope he comes on.
I guess.. I don't know. I have a superiority complex, as well as an inferiority complex. The superiority complex believes that I am better than anyone and everyone else, while the inferiority complex believes that it should not be this way, and that I more than likely am not better, am probably worse, and no one else likes me.
I sometimes wonder about the motives of people. The motives of both guys and girls. I have few friends who are girls, and many of the guys who I associate with...Well, I don't associate with them for very long as most of them end up liking me, finding out that I don't like them, then quickly detaching, or just not getting any close to me at all, and then just slowly erase themself from the picture altogether. I never was any good at keeping any of my male friends. I blame it mostly on Sacred Hearts. Then again, there are so many there who do not have the problem that I seem to have. Maybe it just affected me differently. I do not know how to deal with men.
It's weird... I have grown so accustomed to the "older male body" that to see a little boy (around my age) almost disgusts me. I mean, I can see all their baby fat, and their young eyes, their skimpy muscles, their boyish grin, everything. And it just disgusts me. Like I want them to all grow up already.
I did however recently meet someone who was around my age, 18, who I thought I might have a chance with. Unfortuanately, as my luck would have it, I do not. He hasn't come online for about a week, and I'm almost about ready to give up on him. I hope he comes on.