ça va aller mieux
something happened while i was talking to the boy and i don't want to say anything in case he's just messing around with me, but i doubt he is. but still, i really feel like shit for him right now and i really want to be closer to him so that i can call him up and just comfort him instead of feeling hopeless and flopping around on dry land.
my mom asked me what was wrong because i looked like i'd just gotten slapped across the face and when i told her, she just gave me this look of indifference and made me feel like, i shouldn't care this much because it's crazy. and maybe it doesn't matter as much to her because she doesn't know him and maybe it is love for us, as much as it could be, and that's why i feel like such a mess.
i think i'm really going to cry; i don't know. i'm just going to pray for him, that's all.