she ain't yours and she sure ain't mine.
I am fourteen days away from turning twenty. I think it's safe to say that nineteen has been my best year so far and will miss it for all it is worth. It's so weird standing on the edge of being a teenager and an adult. This is definitely not where I pictured myself at twenty, but who knows. Maybe it'll all change? Doubtful, but I'll try to keep my optimism.
I am staying in on this Saturday night, working on my American Studies paper about immigration. (This is because no one is free to hang out with me and also because I am doing so miserably in school and I only have four weeks left to turn this shit in my favor.)
I so desperately just want to get out of this house and run down the street while drinking a beer with my best friends. The heat is finally here and I must say that I love it. I am looking forward to this summer so much. We're all running away to different countries and different cities and I am glad that someone else wants to run away with me.
There's nothing wrong with me, at least nothing that I will acknowledge.
Usually I look forward to my birthdays with great fervor, but this year there is something different about this birthday. I am letting my fears eat me whole and I need to shake it off and go back to being self-centered and claiming that the world revolves around me for the month of May.
You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? Since when?" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.
01. First name: xira.
02. Age: nineteen years and 351 days.
03. Location: los angeles.
04. Hometown: walnut, california.
05. Occupation: college student that is desperately trying to find a rich boy to marry so i can stop this nonsense.
06. Partner: i'm too content being single and boys are too shitty to be worthy of me.
07. Kids: none and none for a LONG, long time.
08. Brothers/Sisters: younger brother who is my best friend.
09. Pets: none.
10. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: school, birthday stuff, being alone, watching tv, living a meaningless existence for the time being.
11. Parents: mom, krys, is the HBIC -- she is the eleanor waldorf to my blair. dad, matt, tries too hard to make up for the fact that he left my mom by buying me things, but i think his heart is sometimes in the right place. my mom tries to act like she's not that kind of woman, but she definitely tries to make my brother & me not like him.
12. Who are some of your closest friends?: ashley, monica, eric, nessa, luc. everyone else seems to be disappearing from my life.
13. Do you drink/smoke?: i quit smoking and drugs this year, it makes you stink & your skin turns disgusting. plus i'm poor. i drink a hell of a lot and i don't care. i love it. but i'm very social about it, i hate drinking alone.
14. Tattoos/Piercings: two piercings on each ear -- four in total. too bad i never wear any earrings. and i keep thinking and re-thinking whether or not i should get a tattoo. it's so permanent.
I am staying in on this Saturday night, working on my American Studies paper about immigration. (This is because no one is free to hang out with me and also because I am doing so miserably in school and I only have four weeks left to turn this shit in my favor.)
I so desperately just want to get out of this house and run down the street while drinking a beer with my best friends. The heat is finally here and I must say that I love it. I am looking forward to this summer so much. We're all running away to different countries and different cities and I am glad that someone else wants to run away with me.
There's nothing wrong with me, at least nothing that I will acknowledge.
Usually I look forward to my birthdays with great fervor, but this year there is something different about this birthday. I am letting my fears eat me whole and I need to shake it off and go back to being self-centered and claiming that the world revolves around me for the month of May.
You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? Since when?" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.
01. First name: xira.
02. Age: nineteen years and 351 days.
03. Location: los angeles.
04. Hometown: walnut, california.
05. Occupation: college student that is desperately trying to find a rich boy to marry so i can stop this nonsense.
06. Partner: i'm too content being single and boys are too shitty to be worthy of me.
07. Kids: none and none for a LONG, long time.
08. Brothers/Sisters: younger brother who is my best friend.
09. Pets: none.
10. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: school, birthday stuff, being alone, watching tv, living a meaningless existence for the time being.
11. Parents: mom, krys, is the HBIC -- she is the eleanor waldorf to my blair. dad, matt, tries too hard to make up for the fact that he left my mom by buying me things, but i think his heart is sometimes in the right place. my mom tries to act like she's not that kind of woman, but she definitely tries to make my brother & me not like him.
12. Who are some of your closest friends?: ashley, monica, eric, nessa, luc. everyone else seems to be disappearing from my life.
13. Do you drink/smoke?: i quit smoking and drugs this year, it makes you stink & your skin turns disgusting. plus i'm poor. i drink a hell of a lot and i don't care. i love it. but i'm very social about it, i hate drinking alone.
14. Tattoos/Piercings: two piercings on each ear -- four in total. too bad i never wear any earrings. and i keep thinking and re-thinking whether or not i should get a tattoo. it's so permanent.