jesus w. christ
1. I AM the lord thy god and he is the son of george, not the son of god. i will have him spending eternity parking cars in hells VIP lot as soon and i get my hands on him
2. i did not order bush to invade any countries. it is still wrong to kill other human beings unless they have a really big knife at your thraotand all pleas for mercy and a warning shit have have gone unhedded. killing humans is my job, and boy, do i love it. youve all gotten me so pissed off, i may ax another 10,000 of you tonight!
3. i do not want kids praying to me in a classroom. save it for churchand before bedtime_thats enough for the little guys. you keep forcing them to pray to me and there gonna hate my ass. STOP IT
4.An embryo is an embryo, a fetus is a fetus, and then it is a baby and then it becomes a human being. you humans are difficult enough , i dont need more of you around any sooner then necessary. and while were on the subject i dont really give a fuck about ur sex lives.. as long as their consenting keep it to yourself.
5. i dont approve on plaques and monuments with the ten commandments and other religious material being displayed in public buildings. you fergot my little known eleventh commandment? KEEP YOUR RELIGIOUS CONVICTIONS TO YOUR OWN DAMN SELVES!!!
6. as far as those other religions, two points of clarification . ONE, there is never gonna be seventy two virgins waiting for you up here for you. we havent had a virgin up here since jesus' mother, and your not getting anywhere near here. so save yor dynamite and blown to bits body partsbecause you arent ever getting a room in my joint. and TWO, there is no "promiced land". That big truck load of sand i dumped in that horrid little trip between the mediterranean and the river jordan? NOBODY was supposed to live on it, let alone fight over it to the point that it might result of the end of the world. i did not give that land to the isrealites, i did not give that land to mohammad, and if everyone keeps using me as the landlord im gonna seddle the dispute once in for all, so calm the FUCK DOWN.
7. and finally, no more of .this "god bless america" crap. what makes you think you get to be blessed and no one else does?
i dont play favorites. you dont hear anyone in Djibouti saying "god bless Djibouti".i have never heard anyone utter the word "god bless Botswana". they know better. lets get this straitl- god dont bless america, god dont bless anyone, got has a teetime on the back time and doesn thave time for you patriotic bullshit.go bless yourselfs and stop using my name and justification for feeling superior to everyonelse. you arent. you are actually among the dumbest people on the planet. dont think so? name the president of mexico. see? ask anyone else in the world the name of a leader of the country next to theirs and they can tell you who it is. god bless america. more like god bleeps america.
LOOK, im asking for a little help here. i relize i should have put an end to this madness a few days after 9/11 when george w. said on the altar of the natinal cothedral that it was his mission now to "rid the world of evil". people started to believe that he was going to to do it. WELL you cant rid the world of "evil" because evil is needed to define good. if their was no evil there would be no me. evil is a nessasary element for you humans, a way for me to test you, challenge you. to give you a chance to decide with your free will whether you will chose evil or good. you want to get rid of some evil? why not start with eliminationg the evil youve created . letting people live on the street without a home is evil. watching endless hours of reality tv when u could be having raunchy sex with tony from lake mary, florida, that is evil..... you wanna fight and evildoer? go smack yourself around the room for an hour. then go out and defeat the devil in the big white house.
THAT IS YOU MISSION. fail me and your fucked.
THAT IS ALL GOD HAS SPOKEN
2. i did not order bush to invade any countries. it is still wrong to kill other human beings unless they have a really big knife at your thraotand all pleas for mercy and a warning shit have have gone unhedded. killing humans is my job, and boy, do i love it. youve all gotten me so pissed off, i may ax another 10,000 of you tonight!
3. i do not want kids praying to me in a classroom. save it for churchand before bedtime_thats enough for the little guys. you keep forcing them to pray to me and there gonna hate my ass. STOP IT
4.An embryo is an embryo, a fetus is a fetus, and then it is a baby and then it becomes a human being. you humans are difficult enough , i dont need more of you around any sooner then necessary. and while were on the subject i dont really give a fuck about ur sex lives.. as long as their consenting keep it to yourself.
5. i dont approve on plaques and monuments with the ten commandments and other religious material being displayed in public buildings. you fergot my little known eleventh commandment? KEEP YOUR RELIGIOUS CONVICTIONS TO YOUR OWN DAMN SELVES!!!
6. as far as those other religions, two points of clarification . ONE, there is never gonna be seventy two virgins waiting for you up here for you. we havent had a virgin up here since jesus' mother, and your not getting anywhere near here. so save yor dynamite and blown to bits body partsbecause you arent ever getting a room in my joint. and TWO, there is no "promiced land". That big truck load of sand i dumped in that horrid little trip between the mediterranean and the river jordan? NOBODY was supposed to live on it, let alone fight over it to the point that it might result of the end of the world. i did not give that land to the isrealites, i did not give that land to mohammad, and if everyone keeps using me as the landlord im gonna seddle the dispute once in for all, so calm the FUCK DOWN.
7. and finally, no more of .this "god bless america" crap. what makes you think you get to be blessed and no one else does?
i dont play favorites. you dont hear anyone in Djibouti saying "god bless Djibouti".i have never heard anyone utter the word "god bless Botswana". they know better. lets get this straitl- god dont bless america, god dont bless anyone, got has a teetime on the back time and doesn thave time for you patriotic bullshit.go bless yourselfs and stop using my name and justification for feeling superior to everyonelse. you arent. you are actually among the dumbest people on the planet. dont think so? name the president of mexico. see? ask anyone else in the world the name of a leader of the country next to theirs and they can tell you who it is. god bless america. more like god bleeps america.
LOOK, im asking for a little help here. i relize i should have put an end to this madness a few days after 9/11 when george w. said on the altar of the natinal cothedral that it was his mission now to "rid the world of evil". people started to believe that he was going to to do it. WELL you cant rid the world of "evil" because evil is needed to define good. if their was no evil there would be no me. evil is a nessasary element for you humans, a way for me to test you, challenge you. to give you a chance to decide with your free will whether you will chose evil or good. you want to get rid of some evil? why not start with eliminationg the evil youve created . letting people live on the street without a home is evil. watching endless hours of reality tv when u could be having raunchy sex with tony from lake mary, florida, that is evil..... you wanna fight and evildoer? go smack yourself around the room for an hour. then go out and defeat the devil in the big white house.
THAT IS YOU MISSION. fail me and your fucked.
THAT IS ALL GOD HAS SPOKEN