Story: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
Summary: And suddenly she's nobody left to talk to...
X.
Three more weeks Emily has to spend in the hospital.
Three more weeks in which she feels utterly useless and more than a little ashamed.
Three more weeks during which she realizes just how hard she must have hurt Garcia by losing control the way she did, because the usually so fiercely loyal blonde doesn’t come to visit her during the first two weeks.
Three more weeks for her to learn more about her mother who visits her at least 3 times a week, herself and Megan.
And she realizes that Megan was right, time did have an effect on the emotional pain inside her. Three weeks are a long time when one has nothing to do. And a not-so-long time when you have so much to learn. During the first weeks she tires easily, sleeping most of the time. The day after she’s woken up she’s told what happened than night. She’s told that she lost control over her car while driving heavily intoxicated though the storm and that she crashed into a pier and hit her head pretty bad, resulting in brain trauma, a few broken bones and three cracked vertebrae. And the doctors tell her that she’s had more than a little a little luck that she’s actually woken up without any brain damage and is still able to move because the broken bones in her spine didn't hurt her spinal cord. What’s making her realize how close she’s come to dying is that Morgan and Hotch both have tears in their eyes when they tell her that they read the report and saw what’s left of her car. They chat a bit about the BAU and how everyone’s doing and for a moment she actually feels like she’s still a member of the team. Two hours later they leave without having mentioned JJ or Emily’s resignation with a word. That’s exactly one week after she’s woken up from the coma. Two days later she’s allowed to stand up for the first time. It’s only a short walk from her bed to the sink and back but afterwards she feels like she‘s chased an unsub for two hours. A day later when Emily wants to take a shower she finds out that Megan can be pretty snappy. After the dark haired doctor asks her - or rather yells at her - if she’s really that stupid and storms out of the room , Emily shrugs and decides that maybe it’s a little too soon and when Megan grumpily checks on her the same night, Emily apologizes. A week later when she is actually allowed to take a shower it feels better than everything she’s ever done in her life. Her mother tells her to be less dramatic about it but Emily swears that she can see a little smile tugging at the corners of Elizabeth Prentiss’ lips.
After 15 days Emily apologizes again, this time to Garcia, to whom she writes a letter - really dramatic again - telling her that she is more than sorry about what she’s put her best friend through, promising that she’d do anything, anything if it only meant that Garcia talked to her again. The answer comes delivered by Megan in form of a bright pink envelope that gives off the sickeningly synthetic sweet smell of strawberries. Grinning at Emily and her mother, Megan says, “You know, Miss Prentiss, I think you’ve got a love letter here!”Grinning knowingly, Emily moves to take the envelope from the doctor but freezes when her mother says, “actually this looks more like it’s from a woman” and Megan, confused, replies “Yeah, isn’t that kind of the p…” and Emily feels like she needs to throw up when realization dawns on two faces simultaneously.
“I see…” the Ambassador says.
“Fuck!” Megan hisses.
And Emily doesn’t say anything.
The Ambassador excuses herself shortly afterwards and Megan mumbles something about checking on other patients before making a hasty retreat. Garcia’s girlishly looped handwriting (“anything, huh?”) doesn’t make her smile. But when she comes to visit Emily two days later, her mother doesn’t mention the incident again and Emily has already easily forgiven Megan when she said she was sorry and brought Emily a little cake with rainbow colored icing which they ate together during Megan’s lunch break.
Three days later, when Emily is released from the hospital, Garcia has finally come to see her. And see she did, not only Emily but Megan, too, or better that there was - or is - something between the brunettes. Her mother picks her up and in the car finally comes what Emily has been dreading: her mother trying to talk to her about the whole letter thing.
“So, Emily, that letter…” her mother begins and the younger Prentiss realizes that this really is the first time she has seen her mother struggling.
“… was from a former coworker of mine with the FBI”, she answers wearily.
“A woman?” Emily sighs.
“Yes.”
“And…” It pains her to see her mother this self-conscious, Emily decides, because all her life, her mother has always been confident and sure. Maybe distant and cold but always strong and Emily could say what she wanted about her mother but Elizabeth Prentiss had always been a sure, strong woman.
“She is not gay.” Emily says pointedly because that’s, by all means, as close as she can come to actually telling her mother. Not looking at the other woman in the car, her eyes intensely fixed on the dark head of their uniformed driver, Emily can hear her mother exhale deeply.
“But you are?”
“Yes” Another couple of breaths filling the silence between them and Emily suddenly feels her mother’s hand on her arm. She briefly remembers the priest doing the same more than a month ago.
“It’s not as if I didn’t suspect it from time to time…” Emily swears to herself that she never ever again wants to hear tears of guilt in her mother’s voice. It scares her.
“I’ve been a bad mother to you, Emily, I know that. And I know, too, that there is nothing I can do to make this right again but I want you to know that I have always loved you, and that I always will, no matter what.”
It’s only then and there that Emily decides, grasping her mother’s hand in her own, she will give her mother another chance.
.
X.
Three more weeks Emily has to spend in the hospital.
Three more weeks in which she feels utterly useless and more than a little ashamed.
Three more weeks during which she realizes just how hard she must have hurt Garcia by losing control the way she did, because the usually so fiercely loyal blonde doesn’t come to visit her during the first two weeks.
Three more weeks for her to learn more about her mother who visits her at least 3 times a week, herself and Megan.
And she realizes that Megan was right, time did have an effect on the emotional pain inside her. Three weeks are a long time when one has nothing to do. And a not-so-long time when you have so much to learn. During the first weeks she tires easily, sleeping most of the time. The day after she’s woken up she’s told what happened than night. She’s told that she lost control over her car while driving heavily intoxicated though the storm and that she crashed into a pier and hit her head pretty bad, resulting in brain trauma, a few broken bones and three cracked vertebrae. And the doctors tell her that she’s had more than a little a little luck that she’s actually woken up without any brain damage and is still able to move because the broken bones in her spine didn't hurt her spinal cord. What’s making her realize how close she’s come to dying is that Morgan and Hotch both have tears in their eyes when they tell her that they read the report and saw what’s left of her car. They chat a bit about the BAU and how everyone’s doing and for a moment she actually feels like she’s still a member of the team. Two hours later they leave without having mentioned JJ or Emily’s resignation with a word. That’s exactly one week after she’s woken up from the coma. Two days later she’s allowed to stand up for the first time. It’s only a short walk from her bed to the sink and back but afterwards she feels like she‘s chased an unsub for two hours. A day later when Emily wants to take a shower she finds out that Megan can be pretty snappy. After the dark haired doctor asks her - or rather yells at her - if she’s really that stupid and storms out of the room , Emily shrugs and decides that maybe it’s a little too soon and when Megan grumpily checks on her the same night, Emily apologizes. A week later when she is actually allowed to take a shower it feels better than everything she’s ever done in her life. Her mother tells her to be less dramatic about it but Emily swears that she can see a little smile tugging at the corners of Elizabeth Prentiss’ lips.
After 15 days Emily apologizes again, this time to Garcia, to whom she writes a letter - really dramatic again - telling her that she is more than sorry about what she’s put her best friend through, promising that she’d do anything, anything if it only meant that Garcia talked to her again. The answer comes delivered by Megan in form of a bright pink envelope that gives off the sickeningly synthetic sweet smell of strawberries. Grinning at Emily and her mother, Megan says, “You know, Miss Prentiss, I think you’ve got a love letter here!”Grinning knowingly, Emily moves to take the envelope from the doctor but freezes when her mother says, “actually this looks more like it’s from a woman” and Megan, confused, replies “Yeah, isn’t that kind of the p…” and Emily feels like she needs to throw up when realization dawns on two faces simultaneously.
“I see…” the Ambassador says.
“Fuck!” Megan hisses.
And Emily doesn’t say anything.
The Ambassador excuses herself shortly afterwards and Megan mumbles something about checking on other patients before making a hasty retreat. Garcia’s girlishly looped handwriting (“anything, huh?”) doesn’t make her smile. But when she comes to visit Emily two days later, her mother doesn’t mention the incident again and Emily has already easily forgiven Megan when she said she was sorry and brought Emily a little cake with rainbow colored icing which they ate together during Megan’s lunch break.
Three days later, when Emily is released from the hospital, Garcia has finally come to see her. And see she did, not only Emily but Megan, too, or better that there was - or is - something between the brunettes. Her mother picks her up and in the car finally comes what Emily has been dreading: her mother trying to talk to her about the whole letter thing.
“So, Emily, that letter…” her mother begins and the younger Prentiss realizes that this really is the first time she has seen her mother struggling.
“… was from a former coworker of mine with the FBI”, she answers wearily.
“A woman?” Emily sighs.
“Yes.”
“And…” It pains her to see her mother this self-conscious, Emily decides, because all her life, her mother has always been confident and sure. Maybe distant and cold but always strong and Emily could say what she wanted about her mother but Elizabeth Prentiss had always been a sure, strong woman.
“She is not gay.” Emily says pointedly because that’s, by all means, as close as she can come to actually telling her mother. Not looking at the other woman in the car, her eyes intensely fixed on the dark head of their uniformed driver, Emily can hear her mother exhale deeply.
“But you are?”
“Yes” Another couple of breaths filling the silence between them and Emily suddenly feels her mother’s hand on her arm. She briefly remembers the priest doing the same more than a month ago.
“It’s not as if I didn’t suspect it from time to time…” Emily swears to herself that she never ever again wants to hear tears of guilt in her mother’s voice. It scares her.
“I’ve been a bad mother to you, Emily, I know that. And I know, too, that there is nothing I can do to make this right again but I want you to know that I have always loved you, and that I always will, no matter what.”
It’s only then and there that Emily decides, grasping her mother’s hand in her own, she will give her mother another chance.
.