Something happened that almost crushed me today

Apr 21, 2006 17:10

Something happened today that just killed me. Today, my daughter came in and asked me if we're gonna die from starving. I replied.... do you mean, can we die from starving? Yeah. She broke into tears. I asked her whats wrong. And she gave me an answer that just killed me. Let me try and quote her right now....

"Well, those women are trying to make you pay them right. If they do, then we won't get to eat." ... I asked how you figure that....she followed... "Because we don't have alot of money right now. So if we have to give money away to someone else, we won't get to eat. ".... she's speaking of a current situation reguarding Ex-wife and this other girl trying to get Child support from me... I told her not to worry, daddy will due everything I can to makes things better..... "But daddy, if you don't do it, you go to jail and get hurt." . .. by this time, I was barly holding on, trying not to break into tears myself. Then she replied with .... this....

"I don't understand how you can take care of 2 kids and 3 adults, but they can't talk care of just one kid." .... I sure enough agreed. My job pays very little, just I find the money to make sure my kids eat, bills are paid, and clothes on their backs. ... and without a high school diploma, that;s no easy feat. I put her on my laps and said this.

"I will never let nothing happened to you. Ever. I love you way to much. I'm not going to lie, if I have to pay, things will be rough, I know this. But Daddy will never give up and he will keep trying and getting stronger."

"... Like Nikki-J?' She replied. Keep in mind, she was reading Myspace and found Nikki's blog. It spoke of her going into training to get stronger.

"Yeah, Just like Nikki. I'm gonna get stronger ok?"

..... So, if anyone can think of a way to "get stronger", please. let me know. Because truth is, I lied. With 2 people attacking at once for my money. I'm not sure if I can take care of my two kids....

,.... I'm very scared right now.....
.. I haven't been scared in along time.....
Previous post
Up