Entry 1: Almost a nevermore

Jul 02, 2004 15:11

"私達は。過去への私達の" 反作用しか"制御なできる そして変更の事への先読み

"we can only control our "Reaction" to the past,.. and look ahead to changeing things"
-Dee

I figured I'd document my life on this. Not much of a life, I'll tell you that.... but something interesting DID happen to me.... so, we shall see. I'm here right now, sitting in my ... living room.... seeing it's ..... all I have to myself..... for now.... just talking to my Ex as she pretty much just pumbles me like some rabit dog. See people, my problem is, I fall in love WAY to damn fast... I catch feelings VERY VERY VERY quickly.  At the same time, I was married and this woman decided to go and get pregnant by someone else after a four year marriage.... so, I came to Florida ... more so just running. I'll amit it.

I met a few people down here, nothing new ..... most have anger issues. I have found SOMEONE interesting though.... very interesting... I don't know. I have to look into it. Right now, it's hard when your Ex is making you feel like your not worth shit..... it's not that she is saying that.... but it's how she makes me feel..... you do everything and everything in your power to make things word, and it's worth ... NOTHING!

Well, now I'm single again.... which is funny case TWICE now I never thought I'd be think again.... I guess  should rethink how I live my life and how I think about it. At the same time, I'm a Nympho so...... Can't NOT rule out woman... and my asshole is WAY to tight to be dealing with a guy! :P

I had a convo with my friend Dee today, she says, "i beleive you say things to your self as well hon
or just off hand
such as --> """well, even though I wanted one, I never got one..... """ which u said a bit ago
that my, friend, is extemely unattractive to me,..and i would venture out to say,. many women
maybe u just have a hard time in being flirty and sexual
it conveys dwellin on the past,..and not being confident and hopefully about what COULD happen
its just that,... to have some level of confidence in your self and what u can offer to a woman as a  friend and even to a lover... is attractive,.. the future is what is in your control hon
the past is very important in terms of who we are,.
but we can  not control it
we can only control our "Reaction" to the past,.. and look ahead to changeing things"

Funny thing is, that is who I was before I met my Ex-wife...... oh wow.

...Dee is so damn intellengent, I swear, plus she put me in a good mood. She'd be a good girl to me if .... ya know... she was my girl. Wait, Dee said to believe and show confidence. In that case, I should MOST DEF put a ring on that finger! :)

!  It's 3.11, if something else happens, I'll write again!
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