(no subject)
long time, no talk i know... but i need to get this out because i'm breaking apart.
how is it that life can be coming together, yet falling apart all at the same time.
Coming together=
+ i made all county for the 3rd straight year in high school
+ everytime i've auditioned for an all county position in band i've made it since middle school
+ i'm playing with the navy band
+ i have my allstate audition the 18th and i'm ready to keep serious butt
+ i was nominated by coaches in the state to play for the All-State field hockey team this equals scouts and scholarships + i made all division
+ i got the assist to win our overtime game at parkville sending us to our 3rd round of finals
+ we marched the hanover parade in 35 minutes
- Julia's father passed away today
- Ryan's grandfather has either already passed or is currently in the process of passing away sometime this evening or in the immeadiate future
- the love of my life is upset and i am unable to console him or be there for him and it's killing me
- i got slashed in the wrist at my game today
- i can't get ahold of Ryan and i'm extremely scared
everything is going up yet crashing down around me all at the same and it's so hard to handle... God just watch over me, and watch over the Behlers + Pawlikowski's they both mean so much to me.
right now i need God, and i can't find him... it's an awkward feeling. i just know i want everything to be okay, and i know it's not. i can't be happy and celebrate my accomplishments, nor to i want to with the surrounding circumstances
i just ask all of you to keep these people in your prayers this evening. I Love You guys so much
my depression is in a nose first dive... and i want Ryan, but right now.. Ryan needs me more than i need him right now. And i'm going to be there for him, but he matters more to me than life itself i just want to make him better. i dont want him to hurt anymore... and it's so hard to be so helpless and defenseless and to know that i can't make him stop hurting.
and because i'm irish, i'm going to say my blessing:
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
how is it that life can be coming together, yet falling apart all at the same time.
Coming together=
+ i made all county for the 3rd straight year in high school
+ everytime i've auditioned for an all county position in band i've made it since middle school
+ i'm playing with the navy band
+ i have my allstate audition the 18th and i'm ready to keep serious butt
+ i was nominated by coaches in the state to play for the All-State field hockey team this equals scouts and scholarships + i made all division
+ i got the assist to win our overtime game at parkville sending us to our 3rd round of finals
+ we marched the hanover parade in 35 minutes
- Julia's father passed away today
- Ryan's grandfather has either already passed or is currently in the process of passing away sometime this evening or in the immeadiate future
- the love of my life is upset and i am unable to console him or be there for him and it's killing me
- i got slashed in the wrist at my game today
- i can't get ahold of Ryan and i'm extremely scared
everything is going up yet crashing down around me all at the same and it's so hard to handle... God just watch over me, and watch over the Behlers + Pawlikowski's they both mean so much to me.
right now i need God, and i can't find him... it's an awkward feeling. i just know i want everything to be okay, and i know it's not. i can't be happy and celebrate my accomplishments, nor to i want to with the surrounding circumstances
i just ask all of you to keep these people in your prayers this evening. I Love You guys so much
my depression is in a nose first dive... and i want Ryan, but right now.. Ryan needs me more than i need him right now. And i'm going to be there for him, but he matters more to me than life itself i just want to make him better. i dont want him to hurt anymore... and it's so hard to be so helpless and defenseless and to know that i can't make him stop hurting.
and because i'm irish, i'm going to say my blessing:
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rain fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.