If you don't know...
what I'm going through... this is an entry for you to know.
I'm very stressful because I need to settle a lot of things before I leave. Every minute or moment, I am thinking of things that I need to clear. Even it's my weekends, I still take time to do my work even though I dread it. If I am asked by anyone to leave those things undone and just complete whatever I can, I simply can't do so. I have to finish everything before I leave. That is my responsibility. Then I have to come up with solutions on how to clear my leave without affecting my job so that I can have enough rest also. I am very tired.
I am very affected by my boss's reaction towards me. The problem is I am just seated next to him, I feel even more upset that he doesn't even talk to me. That sounds silly, doesn't it? People may think..."Hiya, boss never talk only. I also never talk to my boss." It's different. As I mentioned in my earlier post, he treats me like a daughter. Yes, maybe not as good as how he treats his daughter, I am happy enough. Who doesn't like it when someone treats you well? I have enjoyed it for 3 years... boss cum fatherly love for 3 years. Suddenly, it just vanishes...do you know how I feel? Hurt. Very very hurtful. At the thought of him not even caring or talking, just bring tears to my eyes. Even when I was smiling or laughing at work, whenever I see him, I still feel the ache in my heart. It's truly a pain. This is the amount of feelings I have put in for my current workplace.
With weariness adding on to my body, I can't help being cranky and emotional. I am bloody acting cool even though I am crying inside.
Sometimes, I don't like to tell the whole world what I am going through, I am not good at that. I just need people around me especially my loved ones to know what I am going through and understand me and my needs...that's enough. Even without me telling them. Maybe...that's too much to ask because I simply don't open my mouth to tell them how I feel or tell them what I want them to do. Maybe it's the pride...? Maybe it's my character...? *shrug*
I want to spend more time with dearie because I know that we have not been spending quality time together. I am simply too busy and sometimes our schedules don't permit us to meet. On top of work issues, I am also cracking my brain on what I should do to make up for it. Then I realise I can only do so after my graduation ceremony with SoMA.
With a few of my classmates, we are going to perform at the graduation ceremony thus we have been spending a lot of time jamming and practising. Undoubtedly, I enjoy it a lot. It's just that sometimes the hours of practising are too long for my weak body to take it. The problem with me is that I get tired easily. Without a minimum of 8 hours of sleep, I feel tired. Without enough rest for 1 or 2 days, I feel like I'm dying. My limbs went soft and my reaction will be damn slow. My brain will become a Pentium II processor.
I enjoy performing...in fact, I am striking hard to seize any opportunity that comes along the way. But sometimes I feel that I am too tired to do anything. People always ask, "How come you're always tired?" I told them, not that I want but I really get tired very very easily. In order to give myself "power", I have to drink Chicken Essence before I sleep! That's why I said, my body is too bloody weak.
I am learning Grade 2 Piano because I plan to take ABSRM Grade 2 Practical Exam next year. It's a little dream of mine to be able to play the beautiful keys well. This started when I was just a kid...I missed the opportunity as my parents couldn't afford to send me to music school to learn. Before I start practising the keys, my eyes are already closing. -_-" So I can only practise properly during weekends.
Come to think of it, I'm really very very busy.
Emotional and physically...I think I need a break from everything for a while...
For...myself.
Maybe I should go on a one-day break with just me alone. To a place where I can just stone slack and do nothing.
I'm very stressful because I need to settle a lot of things before I leave. Every minute or moment, I am thinking of things that I need to clear. Even it's my weekends, I still take time to do my work even though I dread it. If I am asked by anyone to leave those things undone and just complete whatever I can, I simply can't do so. I have to finish everything before I leave. That is my responsibility. Then I have to come up with solutions on how to clear my leave without affecting my job so that I can have enough rest also. I am very tired.
I am very affected by my boss's reaction towards me. The problem is I am just seated next to him, I feel even more upset that he doesn't even talk to me. That sounds silly, doesn't it? People may think..."Hiya, boss never talk only. I also never talk to my boss." It's different. As I mentioned in my earlier post, he treats me like a daughter. Yes, maybe not as good as how he treats his daughter, I am happy enough. Who doesn't like it when someone treats you well? I have enjoyed it for 3 years... boss cum fatherly love for 3 years. Suddenly, it just vanishes...do you know how I feel? Hurt. Very very hurtful. At the thought of him not even caring or talking, just bring tears to my eyes. Even when I was smiling or laughing at work, whenever I see him, I still feel the ache in my heart. It's truly a pain. This is the amount of feelings I have put in for my current workplace.
With weariness adding on to my body, I can't help being cranky and emotional. I am bloody acting cool even though I am crying inside.
Sometimes, I don't like to tell the whole world what I am going through, I am not good at that. I just need people around me especially my loved ones to know what I am going through and understand me and my needs...that's enough. Even without me telling them. Maybe...that's too much to ask because I simply don't open my mouth to tell them how I feel or tell them what I want them to do. Maybe it's the pride...? Maybe it's my character...? *shrug*
I want to spend more time with dearie because I know that we have not been spending quality time together. I am simply too busy and sometimes our schedules don't permit us to meet. On top of work issues, I am also cracking my brain on what I should do to make up for it. Then I realise I can only do so after my graduation ceremony with SoMA.
With a few of my classmates, we are going to perform at the graduation ceremony thus we have been spending a lot of time jamming and practising. Undoubtedly, I enjoy it a lot. It's just that sometimes the hours of practising are too long for my weak body to take it. The problem with me is that I get tired easily. Without a minimum of 8 hours of sleep, I feel tired. Without enough rest for 1 or 2 days, I feel like I'm dying. My limbs went soft and my reaction will be damn slow. My brain will become a Pentium II processor.
I enjoy performing...in fact, I am striking hard to seize any opportunity that comes along the way. But sometimes I feel that I am too tired to do anything. People always ask, "How come you're always tired?" I told them, not that I want but I really get tired very very easily. In order to give myself "power", I have to drink Chicken Essence before I sleep! That's why I said, my body is too bloody weak.
I am learning Grade 2 Piano because I plan to take ABSRM Grade 2 Practical Exam next year. It's a little dream of mine to be able to play the beautiful keys well. This started when I was just a kid...I missed the opportunity as my parents couldn't afford to send me to music school to learn. Before I start practising the keys, my eyes are already closing. -_-" So I can only practise properly during weekends.
Come to think of it, I'm really very very busy.
Emotional and physically...I think I need a break from everything for a while...
For...myself.
Maybe I should go on a one-day break with just me alone. To a place where I can just stone slack and do nothing.