...and I'll cater
With all the birds that I can kill, let their tiny feathers fill...disappointment
FUCK there is so much right now. I seriously had trouble keeping it together driving to do promo this morning.
An early as hell day tomorrow, doctor's appointment at 9:30AM, and another sort at 3.
I'm so tired.
Last night made me sad. 18 people, and just watching as the bands load out, heart in my throat with the faded stencils that read 'The Get Up Kids' on amplifiers.......
but once again...not my fault the 700-900 handbills, posters spread across stores, and of course. The internet. And another argument with the venue. I'm so sick of ' mis-communications' I HATE that staff already, You are getting paid to do NOTHING. OR we are losing money for you to also...do nothing.
I also hate our new upstairs neighbor, I can hear each of their lumbering footsteps and the bass from whatever crap they are BLARING right now.
I wish my laptop worked....but it won't recognize my ipod...so I can't update it, or upload anything. and seriously the walls are buzzing right now, and I'm about ready to walk over there and punch whoever this retard is. With all of my lovely rings.
I'm so dumbfounded about my family. "why be civil?! I'm your father you've been dropping hate bombs on me since you were born!!" So much for "whenever you're ready honey" right? FUCK. I'm tired, and annoyed and upset, and want someplace to hide.
The 18th is canceled. The 17th is about to be as well. I hate this. FUCK the Compound, FUCK the metal scene.....I miss the old days. I miss Insomnia, and The Attic, and The walls, and Field and Frame...and places where I didn't think I was going to get killed, and places that didn't scald you after the door. I wish I had someplace cheap to do 5 dollar shows, that wasn't a seedy drug house. But I shouldn't hang on for that.
I want easy sleep, days where I don't wake up sick to my stomach, where I can sing without my voice cracking because that knot is getting higher, and I'll cry by the end of the song.
2.5 days of trying to be without cares....being happy enough to eat whole meals, but not enough to start talking again....to EITHER of them.
I think I'm going to lie down, and try to not have these nightmares. My nails look gross. But honestly the cost of a rebase, is the same as a co-pay, so in retrospect....I'd rather go to the doctor than go ask daddy for money. He can take his tax breaks and shove it. Pay off your debt before you start causing mine.
My eyes hurt. I'm going to go get my fucked up ipod, and listen to something other than the buzzing of my obnoxious neighbors music.
FUCK there is so much right now. I seriously had trouble keeping it together driving to do promo this morning.
An early as hell day tomorrow, doctor's appointment at 9:30AM, and another sort at 3.
I'm so tired.
Last night made me sad. 18 people, and just watching as the bands load out, heart in my throat with the faded stencils that read 'The Get Up Kids' on amplifiers.......
but once again...not my fault the 700-900 handbills, posters spread across stores, and of course. The internet. And another argument with the venue. I'm so sick of ' mis-communications' I HATE that staff already, You are getting paid to do NOTHING. OR we are losing money for you to also...do nothing.
I also hate our new upstairs neighbor, I can hear each of their lumbering footsteps and the bass from whatever crap they are BLARING right now.
I wish my laptop worked....but it won't recognize my ipod...so I can't update it, or upload anything. and seriously the walls are buzzing right now, and I'm about ready to walk over there and punch whoever this retard is. With all of my lovely rings.
I'm so dumbfounded about my family. "why be civil?! I'm your father you've been dropping hate bombs on me since you were born!!" So much for "whenever you're ready honey" right? FUCK. I'm tired, and annoyed and upset, and want someplace to hide.
The 18th is canceled. The 17th is about to be as well. I hate this. FUCK the Compound, FUCK the metal scene.....I miss the old days. I miss Insomnia, and The Attic, and The walls, and Field and Frame...and places where I didn't think I was going to get killed, and places that didn't scald you after the door. I wish I had someplace cheap to do 5 dollar shows, that wasn't a seedy drug house. But I shouldn't hang on for that.
I want easy sleep, days where I don't wake up sick to my stomach, where I can sing without my voice cracking because that knot is getting higher, and I'll cry by the end of the song.
2.5 days of trying to be without cares....being happy enough to eat whole meals, but not enough to start talking again....to EITHER of them.
I think I'm going to lie down, and try to not have these nightmares. My nails look gross. But honestly the cost of a rebase, is the same as a co-pay, so in retrospect....I'd rather go to the doctor than go ask daddy for money. He can take his tax breaks and shove it. Pay off your debt before you start causing mine.
My eyes hurt. I'm going to go get my fucked up ipod, and listen to something other than the buzzing of my obnoxious neighbors music.