venting majorly
so this morning...
i woke up late, and felt really shitty when i woke up. dealt with a live bird being in my house... since rascal decided it would be a nice wake up call. then i went to wendys and it was gross not to mention i waited 10 minutes for it, then i went to the doctor today only for them to tell me that my appt is tomorrow and my mom took the day off so now shes mad at me. but my little card thing for the doctor said the 15th which it is. then no one wants to go to this show tonight with me, and i love this providence... and i've never gotten to see them live. they have been here 4 times and everytime something goes wrong. i just want to do something that will make me happy, but it never works out.
lately i've felt really shitty. my moods are really irritable and i take it out on people i shouldnt. i feel like a shitty best friends cuz im always sad, or always pissy. and then i get really sad out of no where, i cant even explain it right. and no one can help me deal with it. people dont understand how bad my depression really is. i try to cover it up most of the time, but sometimes i just cant. my anti-depressents should be used as sleeping pills because all they do is make me tired. im so sick of feeling like crap. sometimes i just want to die, or thats how i feel. i just cant be happy, everything seems to go wrong. i just want to give up. if only it was that easy. the only joy in my life is sleeping. and thats when you know your life is going downhill.
p.s. i hate money & credit cards & bills. they add to my stress.
p.s.s. i love ryan at least i have the perfect guy in my life, too bad he wont be home for another 7 months.
i woke up late, and felt really shitty when i woke up. dealt with a live bird being in my house... since rascal decided it would be a nice wake up call. then i went to wendys and it was gross not to mention i waited 10 minutes for it, then i went to the doctor today only for them to tell me that my appt is tomorrow and my mom took the day off so now shes mad at me. but my little card thing for the doctor said the 15th which it is. then no one wants to go to this show tonight with me, and i love this providence... and i've never gotten to see them live. they have been here 4 times and everytime something goes wrong. i just want to do something that will make me happy, but it never works out.
lately i've felt really shitty. my moods are really irritable and i take it out on people i shouldnt. i feel like a shitty best friends cuz im always sad, or always pissy. and then i get really sad out of no where, i cant even explain it right. and no one can help me deal with it. people dont understand how bad my depression really is. i try to cover it up most of the time, but sometimes i just cant. my anti-depressents should be used as sleeping pills because all they do is make me tired. im so sick of feeling like crap. sometimes i just want to die, or thats how i feel. i just cant be happy, everything seems to go wrong. i just want to give up. if only it was that easy. the only joy in my life is sleeping. and thats when you know your life is going downhill.
p.s. i hate money & credit cards & bills. they add to my stress.
p.s.s. i love ryan at least i have the perfect guy in my life, too bad he wont be home for another 7 months.