Portrait of an Invisible Man.
The Hierarchy of Sins.
Chapter 16
The Leap of Faith.
Sometimes you have to work with what you have. "Everything is the definition of nothing at all." A friend told me that once. It never made sense until recently. I could wrap up this post the same way I started my journey. "There are no clear answers to this day." There is no reward in reading this though if that is my conclusion. The thing is there is alot more to that statement when looked at liberally. There are no "clear" answers. It's all a universe without a concept of God. It is what makes sense to you. Seeing and feeling things within yourself and questioning authenticity of things. There is no righteous and evil. There is no good and bad beyond your own perceptions of what that actually is ...and understanding that these apply to you and you alone. Alone. "Everything is the definition of nothing at all."
Sex "life" is just like anything "life" oriented in that it has its ups and downs. Sure I applied alot of humor to my past mistakes and those involved. It made it easier. There was alot more that could be said. What would you say? You wouldn't likely. Not in this medium anyway. This is a journal post for everyone to read and certainly not some locker room to discuss those you've "banged" and who your "banging" now. This is a taboo subject so I don't want the messages misconscrewed as perverted or somehow otherwise self glorifying. I'll use something also induligent to analogize the subject matter and you can just perv its contents in your own mind. How about that? Good? Good.
Let them eat cake.
Food like sex pretty much functions to sate many longings. Sure you "need" to eat and sex is more an instinct that can be surpressed, but let us not get too far off the subject as I'm just using it as an instrument of illustration. Sure it is gratifying eating a mound of key lime pie, but you feel immediately bad after you do because your going to carry it around on your fat ass for some time. You also feel bad because there are so many empty calories involved in eating it and you feel sluggish. In a similiar way guilt or barren feelings plague those that feel bad about "empty" sex and you feel weighed down and not refreshed. Alot of what is "good" and bad "sex," doesn't register until afterwards after what seems to be the most obvious reasoning behind initiating the act has passed "orgasm." Sure it sometimes comes sooner, sometimes later, and sometimes not at all (I'm sorry girls,) but most of the roads lead to Rome and people reflect on the trip more than the destination because well Rome is for the most part the same as it has always been. I often think about how the trip effected me and how much enthusiasm I had to have arrived. Reflecting on everything was it labor or was it adventure that brought me to this place and how was this trip different than all the others.
Grrr ... ok I keep getting interrupted and I don't want to scrap this third attempt at a post so we'll just call this part Sextion 2.
Sextion 3 coming soon.