The velvet rope.
In life there lies alot of easily passable boundaries. They aren't fences or areas secured by a small military arsenal, but rather areas that are just understood to be a big "no no" not to cross. As much as we feel we can get better appreciation of the children's ball pen by experiencing it ourselves despite well exceeding the height limit and why "keep off the grass" when your car is right there and your going to have to walk in this absurd angle that is going to require what is likely 15-30 additional steps. I've always said that there are two different types of people when it comes to learning. Those that mom told not to touch the iron and they didn't and the ones told a similiar thing and they did. Well, I touched the stupid iron. Why? When asked this question by mom I replied "I don't know." I think I didn't "know" at the time, but in truth I didn't know how to say it. I know now I touched that iron because she told me not to. I believe I have one of those natures. The taboo and supposely inaccessible things seem forbidden and shrouded in curiousity. I'd do nothing big to hurt anyone, but I'll occasionally delve in "no nos" for the sake of adventure, excitement, and stupid shit I am just not supposed to do.
Ok, does all this rambling have an angle. Well, sorta. I didn't know how to address a question passed by me yesterday and I for once sorta questioned my own actions. As many people know glaswegian_took was out of town for several days leaving me and my for some reason now seemingly insatiable sexual appetite to fend for ourselves. The most obvious answer seemed to be able to carry me through this trying and difficult time... PORN!!! Now the thing is for once I had a girlfriend not intimidated by this often taboo subject and I found comfort in that. I sat around with bitfiend and discussed it actually and she did not wince and I think found part of it humorous. She is just so confident that she isn't intimidated but people's need to escape into things. Fantasize and think about things they'd never really do just for the sake of feeding ones own pleasure in escapism from the mundane things in life. So I think circa day two I decided let's look at some porn cause hell no one cares. So I scanned the net and of course nothing appealed to me, but I figure it was the brief clips and still photos and I figured I needed something more interactive. I had videos and stuff somewhere, but I was unsure where they were and I really didn't want to look for them. I just wasn't "into it." Not to say I didn't jerk off. Hell it was several days, but it came unaccompanied by porn. The thing is in my relationships prior I looked at porn, but part of me thinks it was because I was told not to. I knew I wasn't hurting them nor did this "thing" effect how I felt about them. It was unusual that it didn't really appeal in those few days and for once thoughts seemed to just suffice for inspiration. It's weird how things lose there luster when they aren't placed on the high shelves out of reach anymore. Sometimes I think when they put that half cut black vinyl cover over the Playboys or whatever that it just builds the curiousity in the thing. I guess that is the point. camenaecamenae once mentioned to me on a conversation that somehow sprung up on the subject "Don't change what you did before for anyone." I agree if that is what works. Sometimes it just doesn't seem to work anymore. You feel yourself changing or know that something has changed. It's weird. In a way change was the forbidden thing. Than you find yourself on the other side of the rope and you didn't feel you feet even shift from underneath you.
Happy wanking for the rest of you and don't let anyone catch you.
On an unrelated note I think the "Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead" the song by XTC and covered by the Crash Test Dummies is actually about Christ. Weird. I didn't think about how much a scarecrow looked like a crucified Christ and the lyrics certainly support this theory.
You're most like Matthew, a raven with 'tude.
Intelligent, like most ravens, and yet
sometimes an idiot savant. Sarcastic and
cynical, and above all worldly, but underneath
it all he's a loyal friend.
Which supporting character from the Sandman series are you?
brought to you by Quizilla Yes, I am definately Matthew. I love his character.