(no subject)
Title: Note To Self
Author: catbrains
Pairing: Mikey Way/Gerard Way
Rating: This story is rated PG-13
Summary: “Note to self: read book every time you want to fuck your brother senseless.”
Disclaimer: I don't own Gerard Way, Mikey Way, or their parents. Oh, how life would be different if I owned their parents.
Author's Notes: This is just a little short one-shot I did for my humor. Nothing special and very sarcastic.
Either I had been caught at the wrong time in the wrong day or fate just likes to bully me. Steal my lunch money and push me into the sandbox. I can see that. I really don’t know. What I do know is that I decided to not lock my door and my parents decided against knocking before entering. Two of the worst decisions made on mankind.
Now you’re probably wondering how I can be so calm about this, how I can crack jokes when they’re probably planning on performing an exorcism on me and sending both my brother and I to catholic school till are we're finally legal to make our own decisions. Not that we’d really be making our own decisions but rather what we’d be brainwashed to believe. Maybe they won’t be as stupid to the point of me forgetting to lock the door or my parents forgetting to knock.
Masturbation - I’m pretty sure at one point of their lives, every teenage boy encounters this experience. I have, my brother has, and even though it’s none of my personal business, I’m pretty sure most to all of my friends have. I’m leaning more towards the all. At a time like this, all I want to do is go about wishing I had masturbated instead. Sure, it’s extremely embarrassing to be caught pleasuring yourself, but that’s just it. You’re pleasuring yourself. Not the girl next door and most defiantly not your older brother. Maybe I should have just read a book. I’m pretty sure that’s still legal and safe.
Note to self: read book every time you want to fuck your brother senseless.
Wet Dreams - Or the more scientifically term, nocturnal emission, is also encountered within the teenage years of a boy. And again, I’ve had them, my brother most likely has, and 99% of the “I’m too manly to be personal” friends of mine have probably had them at some point or another. It’s normal, and, despite the embarrassment running down my cheeks, my mother was more than fine with having to wash my sheets a bit more often than usual. A hundred bucks says that that little smug of a smile perched on her lips and those annoying pinches she gave me on my cheeks while telling me that my wet dreams are “normal” would immediately disappear the second she found out those wet dreams were not only about a boy, they were about her boy. Her other boy, who is four years ahead of me of becoming a man. Once again, my older brother.
Sex - The big old S-E-X. Sure, even us “manly” men have those first time fantasies. And, yes, we have hearts that do love. (Well, most of the time they’re very small but they’re there nonetheless.) Sometimes those hearts that love are willing to hold off on the sexual experience for little Suzy here. Except in my case, Suzy has a bit more body hair than a normal woman should have. And those breast are a bit less than any normal A-cup girl should have. Oh, and she has a nice big fat penis stuck in between her legs. And it’s not mine, though I will admit I do have a fairly large penis myself. And little Suzy’s real name is Gerard. It’s a much nicer name than Suzy in my opinion. Well my cock here was pointing straight like an arrow every time Gerard entered the room. It was a sign, and a very discomforting one at that: “Your virginity goes to that man.” As I said before, even us “manly” men have those first time fantasies. Well mine wasn’t exactly in on my bed full of unfinished homework papers and hard covered English and Math books. On top of that, it most defiantly did not have my parents walk in just when I, who very much enjoyed the every bit of my situation before they had walked in, had entered my just as lustful brother Gerard.
Of course my parents overreacted. I mean who’s parents wouldn’t in their situation. My mother, who actually unknowingly told me that thinking about this was normal, went about shrieking and howling (and she did very much look like a wolf) about how absurd this is. My father just kept on rambling how unholy this was. Not only did I have sex at the age of fourteen, I had sex with my fucking brother. (Who is a splendid fuckee’ by the way.) Well, last time I checked having pre-martial sex was unholy. I’ll let you in on a secret - my parents have been married seventeen years. My brother is eighteen. And I’m more than 100% certain we come from the same mother AND father.
Oh, wait. I shouldn’t be proud of that right now.
Now, like unprepared parents, they go about how Gerard is banned from the house and of course banned from me. Because I’m property of Ms. and Mr. Way until I am old enough to vote. I did cry, I’ll admit it. And depression struck me harder than bolt of lightning could. All I can do is sit and wait till they either call that exorcist or give me pamphlets to some catholic school to be brainwashed at and told that the devil was telling me to do those God awful things.
Last time I checked, my penis wasn’t the devil.
Author: catbrains
Pairing: Mikey Way/Gerard Way
Rating: This story is rated PG-13
Summary: “Note to self: read book every time you want to fuck your brother senseless.”
Disclaimer: I don't own Gerard Way, Mikey Way, or their parents. Oh, how life would be different if I owned their parents.
Author's Notes: This is just a little short one-shot I did for my humor. Nothing special and very sarcastic.
Either I had been caught at the wrong time in the wrong day or fate just likes to bully me. Steal my lunch money and push me into the sandbox. I can see that. I really don’t know. What I do know is that I decided to not lock my door and my parents decided against knocking before entering. Two of the worst decisions made on mankind.
Now you’re probably wondering how I can be so calm about this, how I can crack jokes when they’re probably planning on performing an exorcism on me and sending both my brother and I to catholic school till are we're finally legal to make our own decisions. Not that we’d really be making our own decisions but rather what we’d be brainwashed to believe. Maybe they won’t be as stupid to the point of me forgetting to lock the door or my parents forgetting to knock.
Masturbation - I’m pretty sure at one point of their lives, every teenage boy encounters this experience. I have, my brother has, and even though it’s none of my personal business, I’m pretty sure most to all of my friends have. I’m leaning more towards the all. At a time like this, all I want to do is go about wishing I had masturbated instead. Sure, it’s extremely embarrassing to be caught pleasuring yourself, but that’s just it. You’re pleasuring yourself. Not the girl next door and most defiantly not your older brother. Maybe I should have just read a book. I’m pretty sure that’s still legal and safe.
Note to self: read book every time you want to fuck your brother senseless.
Wet Dreams - Or the more scientifically term, nocturnal emission, is also encountered within the teenage years of a boy. And again, I’ve had them, my brother most likely has, and 99% of the “I’m too manly to be personal” friends of mine have probably had them at some point or another. It’s normal, and, despite the embarrassment running down my cheeks, my mother was more than fine with having to wash my sheets a bit more often than usual. A hundred bucks says that that little smug of a smile perched on her lips and those annoying pinches she gave me on my cheeks while telling me that my wet dreams are “normal” would immediately disappear the second she found out those wet dreams were not only about a boy, they were about her boy. Her other boy, who is four years ahead of me of becoming a man. Once again, my older brother.
Sex - The big old S-E-X. Sure, even us “manly” men have those first time fantasies. And, yes, we have hearts that do love. (Well, most of the time they’re very small but they’re there nonetheless.) Sometimes those hearts that love are willing to hold off on the sexual experience for little Suzy here. Except in my case, Suzy has a bit more body hair than a normal woman should have. And those breast are a bit less than any normal A-cup girl should have. Oh, and she has a nice big fat penis stuck in between her legs. And it’s not mine, though I will admit I do have a fairly large penis myself. And little Suzy’s real name is Gerard. It’s a much nicer name than Suzy in my opinion. Well my cock here was pointing straight like an arrow every time Gerard entered the room. It was a sign, and a very discomforting one at that: “Your virginity goes to that man.” As I said before, even us “manly” men have those first time fantasies. Well mine wasn’t exactly in on my bed full of unfinished homework papers and hard covered English and Math books. On top of that, it most defiantly did not have my parents walk in just when I, who very much enjoyed the every bit of my situation before they had walked in, had entered my just as lustful brother Gerard.
Of course my parents overreacted. I mean who’s parents wouldn’t in their situation. My mother, who actually unknowingly told me that thinking about this was normal, went about shrieking and howling (and she did very much look like a wolf) about how absurd this is. My father just kept on rambling how unholy this was. Not only did I have sex at the age of fourteen, I had sex with my fucking brother. (Who is a splendid fuckee’ by the way.) Well, last time I checked having pre-martial sex was unholy. I’ll let you in on a secret - my parents have been married seventeen years. My brother is eighteen. And I’m more than 100% certain we come from the same mother AND father.
Oh, wait. I shouldn’t be proud of that right now.
Now, like unprepared parents, they go about how Gerard is banned from the house and of course banned from me. Because I’m property of Ms. and Mr. Way until I am old enough to vote. I did cry, I’ll admit it. And depression struck me harder than bolt of lightning could. All I can do is sit and wait till they either call that exorcist or give me pamphlets to some catholic school to be brainwashed at and told that the devil was telling me to do those God awful things.
Last time I checked, my penis wasn’t the devil.